bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63173
 21.04.2012
If the girl renamed the song in the mp3 format to "title_songs.txt" and sincerely believes that she will get the song's text now - does that mean a humanitarian mindset?
YYY: This means that the mind’s warehouse is absent.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №63172
 21.04.2012
I prescribed more candles in the vagina) but they cost 700 rubles...) I will inject such candles)

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №63171
 21.04.2012
My mom introduced me to the girls :D
xxx: because my mom bleat arranged as 2 years in Zanzibar and there all her girlfriends of my age or younger))) poetry as I come, immediately - oh son came, here you know, it is a carcass) my son))))
XXX: I have a mother at all.
xxx: forever at home is not) then in the gym, then in the eastern dances, then in Zanzibar
My mom works in Morocco.
I’m glad she doesn’t meet me at work.

[ + 73 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63170
 21.04.2012
Anyone else remembers who Bruce Lee was, who cuddled like a Chuck Norris puppy? :D

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №63169
 21.04.2012
from ZH:
The childhood is over. In the phone book of the mobile phone today appeared a customer named "Again this fool".
WOW: What, to say "Go naked" and hang the phone is high magic?
I remember: I have not been in mentorship for a long time. I can’t do that now.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №63168
 21.04.2012
We have an encyclopedia. He is a good guy, but he always forgets something.
To insult, to punish already tried - does not work.
I talked with admin about how to deal with it.
Apart from the notebooks, nothing was invented. I did the job, I cut it out.
Today, we recommend this encyclopedia. We get a wonderful answer:
"I have a recording book. I forgot to write it out."

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №63167
 21.04.2012
from ZJ sergthegod:

He was at the "Sea Battle". An unexpectedly good kick, a great debut of Rihanna.
I look forward to the screenings of sapphera, cosynka, tetris and crusaders. I must appear.

[ + 56 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63166
 21.04.2012
The opinion of the majority is not always correct. Not a billion flies, not two, not three, not even more, will convince me that shit is delicious.
Joseph of Egypt

[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63165
 21.04.2012
I can forever look at three things: how the river flows, how the fire burns, and how...

Kadysheva can always look at four things: as the river flows, as the river flows, as I am none and as you are none.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №63164
 21.04.2012
In the pink times of my childhood, a batch of new Ikarus, long and original, with three doors and beautiful red buttons were brought to us in the city - you won't press, you won't open. Unfortunate passengers mastered this miracle of technology not immediately. Not that they were really dumb — just our Hungarian brothers shipped buses, in which some buttons did not work, and the other part did not always work. Even Einstein would be mad. I remembered a huge broader man who was unable to get out of his middle door. At the last moment, he realized that passengers were still coming out from the rear. How he broke! The crowded room was not an obstacle. The last troubled passenger just pulled out of the back door under his pressure. At that moment, the door, unfortunately, was closed. The bus went on, and the man patiently waited for the next stop at the back door. All this way he slowly broke over with the rest of the salon, he wrapped. At the next stop, the middle door opened well, but the rear door... The whole salon crumbled of laughter and immediately trembled – the man rushed back to the open middle. This time he is on a long distance. Many were angry and caught in the armor intentionally. When the bus touched again, the man left inside stumbled so that the driver through the entire cabin could hear him well. After so many years, I remember this shout literally: "I will cut those horns! I’m coming to you, you fucking fool!!”

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №63163
 21.04.2012
In response to the punk prayer, a group of priests broke into a concert of a famous treach band and organized a panic at the stage.

[ + 26 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63162
 21.04.2012
Why do girls not want to get married?
Because there is a sign - married sex becomes less and less every year.

If you want your girlfriend to stay with you, don’t sit behind the comp until two nights playing WoT, but go to the bedroom. Have sex more often than once every two months.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №63161
 21.04.2012
How to remove unused code?
WOW: No, you can leave it, so it will rot, it is biodegradable
Q: Did you call our technical code shit?

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №63160
 21.04.2012
I get from wide pants.
I quietly go to work.
I am jealous, I am a citizen.
Who enters on Saturday.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №63159
 21.04.2012
A neighbor called me to fight with water pistols.
I just update my status while the water boils in the pot.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №63158
 21.04.2012
I remembered something...I live in the glorious city of Petrov. I changed my passport. I was sent to the district multifunctional center, where they issue all kinds of certificates, register for receipt of documents, etc. Despite the fact that the building is not new, the interior has been rebuilt. Everything is very civilian, electronic lines operate according to all the rules. The ladies who work there are sitting in orchestral cabins, all extremely polite. And here, my turn came, I go to the booth and see that in each of them there is a new apple monoblock with a firm keyboard and a mouse. And on monoblocks installed Windows XP...

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №63157
 21.04.2012
I was gay, now sleeping with a woman - it's bisexual, and don't shake my head!

WOW: Yes, you are there with your uncertain orientations to the simple people.

That’s you whisper: these I fucking, these I don’t fucking... Clear, like mice on the counter! Fuck everyone who hasn’t gotten away!

[ + 45 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63156
 21.04.2012
by Dimitri's
> It happens, there is no money, you go like this, and you feel like it is in your pocket, hop - and there are 100 rubles. It feels like 100 rubles. Improved

I remember going to the butterfly without a penny somewhere on Beagovoy (aga, Neresinovsk), in the radio store left all the spell :) Oh shit, I would eat even a hot dog and then meet 50 rubles in the air and I, not even bending, like Alist Danilov, catch them out of the air and stretch them into the hole. So this is what I do: these 50 rubles all-powerful randomly arranged so theatrically that they affected the mood more than now the prize of thousands at 15. This is your scale :)

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63155
 21.04.2012
A mother calls, coming from work, as every night asking what to buy:
Q: Do I need to buy something, am I still going to work?
Cheese and bread
I was surprised, could you not go there yourself?! to

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №63154
 21.04.2012
The Fatalist!I'm going to tell you so much about this cor))
CStrife is m.
The Fatalist!Do you know that the sweetheart in the shawarm works?
The Fatalist!So, he gave birth to a cat and he brought the cats to work.
The Fatalist!: and he told me in such a surprised tone "I did not know that we had so many cats in the area, by the evening all were broken":DDD
CStrife: ahaha
The Fatalist!I write to him on the day "hero and when all day no one visitor?"
The Fatalist!“How do you know?” and “How do you know?”

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