bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №125476
 15.03.2016
- See, here the package was paved with fragments of the Kazakh newspaper. I’t try to print that shit.
This is what?
- "Endoscopic lifting of the forehead,... (deleted)... enlargement and extension of the member."
What is it, fuck in the head?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №125475
 15.03.2016
Comments on Great Buildings in Minecraft:

XXX: So much even in the hands. Spending hundreds of hours driving with cubes.

yyy: if you could build in reality with a click of the mouse
Then we would have colonized the half of the galaxy for a long time.)

zzz: A second by Ctrl+V

QQ: This is how we build crustaceans

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №125474
 15.03.2016
XX: What do you know about marathons? We do not respond to emails sent during non-working hours.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №125473
 15.03.2016
Start to Mars... and half of the comments to the video on YouTube, what in Russian, what in English, about the bird that hit (for a second) in the frame, rapidly falling from the launching rocket!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №125472
 15.03.2016
to the school.

Children come to school at the age of 6-7 years. Who has done them before? The Parents. And if parents hit a child with a screw, say, "We gave you birth, and then your problems do not deal with it, do not develop it, and do not show how interesting the world is... well, the teacher is useless here. He was three times a genius of teaching.
And then, well, comes home such a motivated teacher child, and sees parents at the TV with beer, who need nothing. The end of motivation.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №125471
 15.03.2016
– You’t eat chips, but walnuts – they improve the work... of this... well, like it... well you understood.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №125470
 15.03.2016
XHH: in us, the radio engineer was transferred somewhere to the programmers of учиццо
He walks, he boasts, all of himself.
I remember at such moments of his tail loosening, as he said at the exam, that the frequency in the dukes is measured.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №125469
 15.03.2016
What and what? In school, biology and physics are denied. Are we on the same planet?

Google "in Krasnodar region schoolchildren are told about telegony", there is a fairy tale.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №125468
 15.03.2016
here here :
iliabvf: To become a free man, you must drop a slave out of you. Chechov Anton Pavlovich
Is it because of these words that Chekhov is being removed from the school program?

[ + 14 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125467
 15.03.2016
Agree, there are very few. Therefore, of course, those who want to study learn on average.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

My grandmother was born in 1912. According to her stories, at that time such teachers were the majority. Maybe that’s why that generation did what we’d stumble upon. And the interesting question - where are such talents now and why are they taught in their place? Isn’t it because this gray mass, instead of stretching to the level of the best, drops the bar below the plinth – and you are already helping it, considering that bar a normal one?


[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №125466
 15.03.2016
1: IMHO, these smartphones will degenerate humanity. Or at least its civilized part. All smartphone users are full of shit and whimpering. Instead of ticking in the tachskirns, it would be better to go to the turnips.
Don’t tell me...I’m your way, shit and whistle?
1: I did not say that. Facts, you are a frame, a mountain of muscles... You even pull 10 cuts on each hand!
So this is why I got stuck on one hand to pull? I would like to read the second part of the book.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №125465
 15.03.2016
From comments to the article on geektimes about the victory of man over AI in the game Go:

XXX: I was sick with AlphaGo too. for our future. Congratulations to the robots!
YYY: And you seriously expect that after this comment they will spare you?
ZZZ: There is no chance of people in the future war with Skynet, the only hope for survival is collaborationism :)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №125464
 15.03.2016
I read in the news on the Hubble:
“The most popular bomb launching device among Islamic terrorists is the Nokia 105 phone. Experts say that terrorists prefer this model because of its reliability and long battery life."

A lucky coincidence. I just picked my child’s first phone and looked at the Nokia 105. After this news, I will definitely buy this model to my minor terrorist.

[ + 31 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125463
 14.03.2016
When I was a student, I had a relationship. The young man was a "local", I was a visiting provincial girl living in a shelter and living on parental subsidies. As the guy believes, he regularly jumped in guests and regularly empty the refrigerator. At first, it even pleased, because the guy was positioned as a "true man", who needs a lot of money to maintain the reality. Then it became financially stressful. Like every young and naïve idiot, I came out of the way: at first I noticed that it would be good to have something for tea. I got cheap chocolate. I went to the trick - so it seemed to me in any case - and on the next visit told me that there was nothing to eat, we went to the store. I went, I picked up the products, the winner joined the game, I also skilled something. The shutdown arose at the box office, when the man, almost aside, left, only that the cashier did not think that he was paying here. The moment I’m not proud of is the phrase “Couldn’t you pay?“From my mouth broke. The man pays. He wondered when I would repay his debt. My nerves gave up, I said everything I thought. And in response she received a genius: "I didn't know you were so mercantile."

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №125462
 14.03.2016
"State of work in the specialty from 1 year - desire to work and develop in the field of domestic violence"

What a guard?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №125461
 14.03.2016
In the dining room he asked for fresh water. I slept. What had to happen so that he could clarify?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №125460
 14.03.2016
Now oldfagams are called people who as a child watched "Ghost Stories" and "Gammy Mice". I worked in those years...

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125459
 14.03.2016
As a child, my friend and I loved walking on tubes. They were not changed for a long time, they were old, rusty and all their insulation was broken. And also, my parents from childhood instructed me that you don’t need to put a pad on wounds, because it’s dirty. Going for a walk, a girlfriend went to the toilet in a big way. She cried out to me, “Find me a frog.” And I said to her, "The scarf is dirty, it's better to look after it." I made her cleaner from the insulation of the pipe watt...that day we first learned what is glass watt...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №125458
 14.03.2016
In one popular blog advertising post about budget devices for the "smart home".
Under the post comment: “Very useful devices. Now everyone who wants can cheaply convince on their own experience that the "smart home" is expensive, bulky and uncomfortable.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №125457
 14.03.2016
I stand on the light and look at the advertisement poster on a truck standing next to me.

E-e-e.... Designers, dear ones, when before you the text of the look "... We are leaders. ...", good advice, choose the font more carefully.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna