The daughter (years 5 she was then, what) somehow in the pool is playing, I close to the "spiders" relax, half-eyed looking at her.

She went to talk to a girl instructor. We talked about something, laughed, and broke up. He plays further.

Then I saw that the girl was thinking about something. Suits to me.

Do you want to meet that aunt? He nodded to the instructor.

No, not very much. I am embarrassed.

Go and get acquainted!

Why to me? ! to What shall I tell her?

Say, “What is your name?”

It turns out that she forgot her name, and here she came up with a way to recognize him again. and :)

In the fourth grade we had graduation controls in mathematics and Russian language. I handed them over for five, and the rest of the time our cool manager decided to talk to us. Who he wants to be when he grows up. The turn comes to me and I say that I want to become an engineer-constructor in the aviation industry.

Instead of praise, she gave out that I was a fool and nothing good would grow out of me. I was so offended, 23 years have passed, and I don’t even know who glued her replacement shoes in the closet that day.

Unfortunately, the dream of becoming an engineer did not come true. At that time, the training cost horse money, and the budget was not enough points.

A lot can be achieved with a well-developed self-awareness. Self-respect for example.

Another ballad about customs
The year 1863. and Yokohama. A Dutch merchant from a newly arrived ship passes through the customs. Among the declared objects is a cage with 1 (one) living tiger for the Kyoto animal. Customs officials say they do not have any tigers on the list of taxable goods, they cannot determine the tariff, which means they are not entitled to pass the animal. The Dutch is hysterical. First, bringing the tiger back is a terrible expense, secondly, the deal will collapse... And the customs officers were so busy that they didn’t even react to the hints of gratitude, unlimited within reasonable limits. The buyer desperately demanded the Dutch consul.
A consul appeared, an unwavering red guy in a penny, looked at the merchant, the customs officers, the tiger and said that the customs officers were right. They are not obliged to meet and make additions to the tariff policy. And since the ship has already departed from loading, the merchant has nothing left but to forget about that money and release the tiger, since it is impossible to make a profit from it.
Where are the freedoms? - Where are the freedoms? here here?
- And where? - asked the consul. - He can't let him out behind the gates, it will be the carriage into the country of non-customs goods. Only here.
He will eat us!
I don’t know, I don’t think he’s hungry. And it clearly struck him. But it does not matter. Property is sacred and my guardian can dispose of his own as he pleases. Under Japanese law, of course. But the law does not prohibit it, right? So, I think we have come to a completely legal and mutually pleasant solution. I have honor.
The tiger was instantly expropriated and moved peacefully to the old capital.

As soon as Golikova said that it is necessary to be sober for vaccination, and also after 42 days not to drink - I immediately realized that mass vaccination in Russia has failed.

My grandmother told me that my grandfather was a joke. The village, the heat, the grandfather and the neighbor communicate and the neighbor asks:

When will it rain?

The grandfather answers:

I’ll tell you when it goes.

The neighbor did not understand anything, and they separated.

A few days later, at two o’clock in the night, a neighbor wakes up by knocking on the window:

Get up, the rain is coming!

It rained at night and went away.

It may be a banal thing, but the story delighted me. Grandfather was not alive for a long time at the time, and grandmother thought it was just a talk, but met a neighbor and he confirmed that grandfather in the night was all restored and demanded to go out to watch the long-awaited rain.

It is inappropriate to repair the water pipeline.

It is good to sell bottled water.

In 2004, Yuri Trutnev was appointed Minister of Natural Resources of Russia. After 3 years, the share of the contribution of the Ministry of Nature to the country’s budget increased from about 30% to 54 (I don’t remember the exact figures, approximately, for understanding the situation).
First of all, not because of the rise in oil prices, but because of the fact that he canceled all competitions for fields, when the most "beautiful" project won, replacing them with direct auctions - whoever paid more to the country's budget is the winner.
The average cost of the field increased 18 times, despite all the statements of the previous management that “the price is the limit for business.”
One of the first trips of the new minister was to Siberia, "Surgutneftegaz".
They arrived, brought them to the management, the control room. The head of the shift in a suit, tie, unused newly purchased shoes read-and-ported. A high guest proposes to go to the drill. They went.
On the drill also some boss in a suit and tie, a new helmet and a brand jacket said something boldly.
Trutnev, looking at the working installation, asks him something of the type from which horizon at what compression the habit goes. (I’m never a oilman, I don’t even know words like that.)
The slightly squeezed chief thinks, he is immediately helped by a master in rubber boots, a roasted jacket and a squeezed helmet, who boycotted a conversation with the minister.
The suspect Bogdanov, co-owner and president of "Surgutneftegaz", quietly asks the press secretary of the minister, and what education has Trutnev?
He was a mountain engineer and started working on a drill.
– Oh, b.yayaya... – stumbled Bogdanov, already realizing that now, smiling at him, the minister will say.

- Name one promise made by Putin to the Russians, which he kept.
Putin: If you have been president for seven years, you can go crazy (February 2004).

The case was in the UAE in the distant 2011 year. We gathered together with our small but friendly company at the Pool Party in Abu Dhabi. In one of the local (naturally 5* hotel such took place (and take place)) regularly and were a place of unforgettable impressions! Cocktails, calyan, a huge swimming pool and chic music (heh, it was the time of my unrestricted youth). We were four people: I, my boss, his girlfriend and another of our common friends from work. As responsible people who were going to drink that day, we decided to take a taxi. We arrived at the destination, safely extinguished until 2 o’clock at night and it was time to go home, naturally, again by taxi. The swimsuits are wet, above them the usual clothes - T-shirts, shorts.

The boss calls a taxi and tells the operator that we were at the Pool party and we’re a little “moist” so, plus, send a car that won’t bother us pick up. It is done, the taxi has arrived.

We go, we suspect nothing. And here the taxi driver tells us that, say, to drive far away (in fact not), and he has gasoline at zero. Say, guys, (I will mention that for all the stay in the Emirates and almost daily trips by taxi - this was the only time the taxi driver decided to go to the gas station) I will quickly jump to the gas station, fill the tank and go on. I immediately suspected the wrong thing, but everything looked quite adequate and we were seated, so the trip to the gasoline seemed to us a wonderful adventure)) We went to the gasoline, the taxi driver (born in India), asked us "for our own safety" to get out of the car until it fills up, or "no." We went out. Mr. Hindu began a routine refuelling of the car and unexpectedly opened the back door of the car, allegedly looking for something from personal items. And here began the most interesting thing. Next: (T) is a taxi driver, (N) is my boss.



T: No, guys, it won’t go, look, there’s a wet spot on the rear seat – some of you haven’t dried out the swimsuit and now my seat is wet.

N: So I mentioned the operator where we need to be picked up and specifically pointed out that we are not quite dry.

T: I know nothing sir. It is trouble! Sitting is wet (a little bit).

N: I don’t know anything too, I warned – call the operator, clarify what to do about it? ! to

T: Comrade, you know where we are. It is easier for me to call the police than the operator. Do you want to spend the rest of the night at the police station? The seat is wet, I now need to go to the washing machine (p*del, as breathed, taxi driver).

N: Do you not think you are exaggerating the scale of the tragedy?

T:...Taking your hands up to heaven (calling Krishna, apparently)... you are wasting your time and my time, guys! Either you pay me 100 dirhams for a car wash ($35 at the time), or I call the police.

Call the police and we will find out!

N: BotyaB, get up! Okay, comrade, I will pay you 100 dirhams. Fill up and go.

T: Money for the “damage” forward.

N: Okay... I counted with the driver...



We sat in the car again and spent the rest of the way home quietly. Only the outgoing taxi driver tried all the way to "explain" to us what good deeds to get rid of a wet spot from someone's ass (per from mine), he will let the 35 backs he just received.



We arrived at home, each walked around his villa in a slightly decaying mood and full of the feeling that we had just been unconsciously separated. Read on Bali.



My chief was not from the timid dozen and the next day wrote an official complaint to the taxi service with a full description of the conflict. The driver was fired (there is a crowd of people in line for work anyway) and brought their deepest apologies. Plus, a loan for the next 10 free trips was issued to him to compensate for moral and material damage. I love when justice triumphs.

One woman, an administrator 20 years older than me, was constantly stressed with requests to pull water in bottles for coolers. I usually don’t have trouble wearing replaced bottles even though I don’t have anything to do with this at all. And on one day she already told me with a claim that you had to put water yesterday, but did not put water so go and put it. What do I owe it to? I owe nothing. You can ask I can agree to help. Or not. She grit you are not a man so you have to help as a man. I speak well then tomorrow morning please, as a woman, swallow me a set of working clothes. Take the form in my closet and hang it there later. I thought she would break. The guy didn’t have to retreat. This was done in the room with my colleagues. Until now, the tooth is scratching and licking a little bit) but directly to me with requests does not address anymore.

Discussing the work of plants.



I wonder how this process is going.

Tax, Ivan Ivanovich Ivanovich from Urupinsk owed 100k. We open the Uryupinsk base, sort by Ivanov Ivanovich. We choose anyone. Take off 100k. Ready to go. Or they come up with their passport numbers, snills, hills. This is all the code of the beast, Satanism fucking.

The Russian government is always ready to provide fraternal assistance to white bears in the Arctic, elephants in Africa and penguins in Antarctica.

My colleague has five birthday... for different pizzerias! I ordered pizza five times a year at a discount.

The main role in the film Tarzan will always be given to a white actor, because the Disney studio will not have enough eggs to show a film where the black not only looks like a monkey, but also behaves the same way.

xxx: Please don't add this year to my age, I barely used it.

I almost got "inherited" a mocking shell, which was tearfully blotted "to take for a couple of weeks." I don’t especially like cats, but for a couple of weeks, a supposedly educated cat... Okay, let it live, it won’t go away from me in a couple of weeks! The harvest and sorter were promised to be given with the cat.



Going to me, the cat immediately got a bullshit from a powerful dog-killer of the remarkable German Daxshund breed and for the first couple of days moved exclusively under the ceiling.

On the first night, the swallowed monster sat on the refrigerator and apparently trained in vocal data for the spring chase. Melodically so, with different voices and tonalities.

As she stuck, the killer dog, beaten by these screams, broke up and went to check whether the cat broke the ground perimeter. I stumbled onto the cat with tapes, but the sparkly animal handled and knocked his eyes, cried.

So the week passed, for which the cat got pursued by the "Dirty Cat Moussa" (it was originally somewhat cunningly called, such as "Queen of Milena Bagira", or something like this hunky, did not remember), learned to skillfully bypass the dog seats, and steal me, for the purpose of giving her to eat (it had to buy her a bag of food and put a bowl on the window, because the dog, seeing the unnecessity in the form of a roaring cat, rushed to give her puzzles, and eat it all, although the dog did not recognize the dry hunky before the monster appeared in the house at all).

By the end of the second week, the ugly cat Musya skillfully robbed the dog’s bowl for the subject of the nuts and amused the dog with a piece of something in its teeth when it burned it for this action. During the day I stumbled into the closet, and at night silently stumbled past the dog guarding my couch and stumbled on me for the purpose of scratching my naked mocked rod or stomach, ticking my harry in the hand, and ticking like a tank diesel.

The whole house began to be covered with a cloth, which I and Matthew killed in the morning with a clothes roll.



By the end of the third week, I called the owners of the mocked creature, with the well-known question "when you will take your monster," and I was answered that they were fucking to Thailand type for a year, and the cat can be thrown off, you can right from the balcony, if she was so fucking me.

Having told the ex-masters that they were rare pydoras and greatly surprised me with their behavior (I know these people a long time ago, never noticed such a shit, and here on you...), hanged the telephone, and began to think what to do with happiness, which was already so upset that ignored the dog, turned in his legs, cried and demanded to eat.

...

In short, the ugly cat Musya lives with me for the sixth year, has eaten up to the size of a small straw, and judging by its naked rose, is quite happy.

XXX: The girl Zhenya found a flower-semi-flower. Standing and thinking:

Damn to guess that? My friends at the disco.

They walk, they kiss guys, and I sit like a fool and I suffer.”

He breaks the first leaflet and says, “I want to be spit.

The beginning! “” Well, let her spit, so that she is all yours,

He pulled the second and said, “Now I want to stop spitting.”

It passes a day or two, it is boring for a girl to live without adventures, the third leapest

She rattles and says, “Now let me not be cuddled as a child.”

Let’s make her cabbage, cabbage-cabbage, until she’s all green. Destroyed

The next one says, “Everything in nature. It is good to cuddle me...”

Then the fifth or sixth leaflet also went away. The last one remains,

She looks at him and thinks, “Hey fucking, I’m 16 years old and I’m a niqab.

I haven’t done anything good in this life. No, we will fix it.

in a moment.” Here her gaze fell on the boy Vitu, who was walking on the cradle,

The husband’s face was immediately clear. She dropped the last leaflet.

And, as he says, “Now let Vituo dish not be childish.”

I go to work at night, the subway is almost empty, bombs occupy their positions in warm transitions. Behind me is a girl, sitting in front of a typical old man of the station.

I pass by, I hear a scream: “Girl, girl! “Your rope is loosed.”

I turn around, I see Fifa, who with disgust turned away and goes on. He walks 10 meters and falls.

Sometimes it’s worth listening to what you’re being told and not thinking you’re smarter.

Looking around, he sits and smiles ?

These are birds from the north to the south, and women from the poor to the rich.