bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №136261
 25.11.2016
The employer’s logic:

1) Recruit the most talented and smart employees.

2) To deceive them by ZP, because “they are fools”

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №136260
 25.11.2016
I decided to take a ride to play in a Euro Truck like. I think it's new, I'm looking for an airplane cheaper, I find, I agree. The case was in St. Petersburg.

I come, a very ordinary house, which must have seen the king. Apartment three.

Oh yes, this is me, come in.

I go to the entrance, that is, to the parade. I look at the door open on the first floor, I think they meet, just don’t know which side is the third.

I crash into the apartment, I hear someone roar, I walk further into the rooms - a company is sitting, a person 5. They smoke, they drink beer. Everyone looks at me with a question.

Hi, I am driving.

and pause.

Come and park, Hole.

And the roast is such, clearly smoked.

It turns out that it happens in Peter, apartments from above start by accounting.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №136259
 25.11.2016
I have lived alone since recently, always lacking money, I eat very modestly. I recently met my father in a store. I have quite a little in the cart and everything "on the list", and he started picking up different tastes, meat, sausage. When they passed the box, paying each his own, he takes his bags and says, "It's for you!" I never thought the best gift was food. I look forward to the time when I can help them myself.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №136258
 25.11.2016
Oak E1
Muza Nikolaevna: I found a child's Ekarta on the name of a boy...I will be pleased to give it.
Almonds: in the social networks look for him or his parents I so Eckart returned)
Mosa Nikolaevna: In social networks mother could not be found
D.Golovin: Lick all the photos of Daddy, Mom will come out on you

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №136257
 25.11.2016
The world was captured and divided equally by the Yojis and the homophobes. Another explanation for what "sensation" was blown out of the fact that the footballer on the pitch was struck with a "pydoras", and he was able to parish this badly, is simply not.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №136256
 25.11.2016
Command: Order budget cameras with POE and flash card.
Admin: from the length the cheapest 12k.
Headquarters is expensive.
Admin: China nomade 5k
Pocher, just to work.
Admin: Poker for 12k or 5k?
Director: We will think about it.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №136255
 25.11.2016
She called a taxi, a 50-year-old man arrived, the face was immediately visible "not in a mood". I was driving to the office center, before it there was no public transportation.

Dialogue with the taxi driver:

Do you work there?

I work...

It was hard to get there on foot, so you had to call a taxi.

- °°°

They continued in silence...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №136254
 25.11.2016
Previously :
To live for one salary.
Now is :
To live until your retirement.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №136253
 25.11.2016
X: Go to the cinema
A: What is what?
X: The "Style"
You can also see them on the bus.
X: I want to be fantastic
U: then "House-2"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №136252
 25.11.2016
The Parents:
Andrews
Buy seeds (1 kg) and tomatoes. 4-5) in the pavilion, which is on the corner of Volgograd and Amunsena. No food to feed.
The xxx:
OK is
Tomatoes are blue, of course.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №136251
 25.11.2016
Canakau: The Planet of the Apes?
Every morning in the metro.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №136250
 25.11.2016
Minerals mining on asteroids
Waldliebhaber: Em, how are you going to brake 500 tons in the atmosphere?! to
Shkslj: Until a characteristic crust.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №136249
 25.11.2016
"My tutor doesn't get in touch - is it a technical problem or a content problem?"
The content problem, Karl!
xxxh: I’m trying here to understand what should be with the content so that the podcast is like "Now Naher!" and doesn’t get in touch.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №136248
 25.11.2016
When I was 5, my dad had a Doberman and we had a huge balcony at home. I loved playing in the warm days. And playing, I was lazy to go to the toilet, well, I left my lawns on the balcony, and the Doberman always looked at me from the other end of the balcony. The first time he did it with surprise, and then he began to scream. In the end, in fear of his rattling, I stopped doing it. Many years have passed and I told my mother, she finds him in these lochs with the nose of a tick thinking that it is his, and he then mocked me)

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №136247
 25.11.2016
It was 90x. I have an atomscreen. An annual exam for texnike bezopasnocti. I think it's a good thing to be able to do if you're going to be able to do so. What it is, I try to remind.

Ingeenep po Tb tries to:
– Pepepybit opacny ppovod toopopom, otpychit teleo cyxoi docka...

And the puppy cries:
Fuck, how you’ve gotten me all that stuff! Cocktail one and the same! He would go whoever could, go whoever could, go whoever could, go whoever could, go whoever could!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №136246
 25.11.2016
XXX is lol.
Grandfather is hysterical because his grandmother closed his free-to-play game in the UK
And he fucked the golda, and he burned it so hard that he dropped it from the house.
And these people tell me what they say later.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №136245
 25.11.2016
The dialogue is just:
I have a long password on the server, 25 characters!
Do you have complexes?
A loud laugh from everyone present.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №136244
 25.11.2016
One home provider on the page (I will not write which)
"The best ping from our provider - to check, type ping 127.0.0.1"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №136243
 25.11.2016
We are looking for tips and recommendations for a holiday in Turkey in August.
We are two: Dad and daughter, 7 years old.
We need a hotel with maximum leisure for the child: in the morning breakfast, the child ran to the club, in the evening ran, kissed his dad and went to bed.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №136242
 25.11.2016
(of Miller, Sechin, Greff and so on.These high-end specialists cannot be paid less, even on the contrary, they need to double their remuneration, otherwise we risk losing them, they will immediately be redeemed by any supostates of the type "BP". The enemies of the Russian economy have long put their eyes on our super managers, but have not taken into account their patriotism. In addition, by raising their salary, we automatically seriously increase the average salary of the average Russian. This cannot be delayed, comrades.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna