xxx: I understand everything, of course, but accepting all amendments to the constitution in one package does not please me. For example, I am opposed to the amendment of Tereshkova on the nullator, but

Absolutely for others, how do I vote if the ballot is just “yes or no”?? to

yyy: you put an apple, peach, steak and a piece of shit in a cup, carefully mixed. Will you eat?

My fellow student, a year in 2008, one marginal asked to smoke, little stuff...In the end, he gave in the beard and took the phone. And immediately carried it to the local repair workshop (the city was small, the lombards we had not yet). Ironically, there worked the uncle of the victim, who identified the nephew's phone and delayed it. The attacker was given about 8 years. Not the first episode.

When I split up with my ex, with whom more than once a week is already a holiday, I also thought I wanted to fuck 24/7, always and everywhere. And then the universe decided to support me and I met a girl of supposed dreams. The 4th size, a great figure, leads a very active lifestyle (enduro, snowboarding, strikeball and doping). At the same time, she was greedy to the fuck as much as possible. There are 20 minutes of free time - why is your member still not in it? ? to Do you need to get up early in the morning to work? The marathon is provided until 4 a.m. Are you going to sleep? In the sense of sleeping, you are lying on me! Over the course of a week, the entire apartment, the entrance and much more was robbed. Her orgasms were wild. She trembled, cried, cried like the last time, flowed and sprinkled from all sides, and all this around dozens of times a night (lords, forgive me, neighbors). I thought I was in heaven and if she wasn’t a noble brainwoman, I would probably have married her.

Only after two weeks of breaking up for all the past years, I began to get really busy. I realized that in the morning I want to sleep an extra half an hour, and not throw another stick of this wild fury. That I am enough to finish a couple of times in the evening, and not to work 5 hours in a row, suffocating from shortness of breath (although I was quite a sports cotton at the time). And that in general - to fuck a few times a day every day, ending at the same time a total of a dozen times, it is fucking difficult and uncomfortable. I felt like a sex toy with crushed eggs. Therefore, it wasn’t two weeks since I was forced to melt her out for some crazy reason, although it was problematic to break away from her. Then, a couple of times I longed to recall all this happiness, when I had no sex for a long time, but was brave enough not to try to contact her again.

And the moral? Yes, he knows, while printed, from memories decided to overturn once and forgot what he wanted to finish the spark)

The main achievement of the Internet is to identify the true percentage of idiots.

Help for friends

About a year ago, a good friend who worked as a lawyer in a small firm approached me to provide him with financial assistance. There was no free money at the time, so I had to refuse.

A few days after receiving this request, one of the long-time clients just threw a small deal, the essence of which is very simple: we put, we did not pay, the claim has already been sent. You need to make a claim, the deadline is until next Friday (almost 2 weeks).

I remember a recent dialogue with a comrade and I decide to pass on to him this little deal. The task is absolutely easy, especially for him, and the money pays very even not bad. Even if there are any bugs, I can fix it quickly enough. The Hero of History:

Oh badly, hi You asked for money, but the situation did not change.

No, has it not changed? Can you help?

Yes I can. But we have to work a little.

Just to borrow?

The answer immediately warned me, but I decided not to attach much importance to it.

Unfortunately only so.

I understand, tell me.

Listen to. The company appealed who delivered the goods on time and was not paid. The contract of supply is, the UDP too, even the act of summoning is signed. The complaint was already written, there was no response. You only have a claim, as soon as you write and send me, I will transfer you X money. It has to be done until next Friday.

I understand, I will think.

After reflecting a week, and, accordingly, losing half the term, Alexei agreed to work and received an el. Send a copy of all the necessary documents.

A few days before the deadline, the customer calls:

and hello. How is my business progressing? Will it all happen by Friday?

Hi Ivan Ivanovich, everything will be done, don’t worry.

I know I’ll go for lunch on Friday. If anything, call me for now.

All the good.

I call Alexis:

- Lozha, hello, the client called and was interested in promoting the drafting of the lawsuit.

You said it was until Friday.

Everything is so. I just call to remind you.

I remember everything, don’t have to control me.

and well.

On Thursday, the fifth point of the half-day felt the immediate approaching of adventures, but I didn’t want to believe it. At 5 o’clock in the evening, I still call the hero of history, and no one takes the phone. Well, I think anything happens, will call again.

No one called back at six o’clock, and at seven and eight o’clock. I try to call for about half an hour, knocking on all the messengers, no result.

I go into the profile of one of the social networks of his wife and see there fresh photos, in which she, her parents and Alexei himself are beautiful, sitting in the country, and consuming shillingdos under hot drinks.

I call his wife:

Olya and hello. I am looking for your husband, can you help me with this?

Hi, and what happened?

“Losha has to do some work tomorrow morning and send it to me. I want to know about his successes.

- So he left with the test for fishing, the waters were caught with him, they will only be on Saturday.

Are you serious now?

Yes of course.

Great, send him a greeting.

After 5 minutes, a message from Alexei comes: “I can’t, give it until Monday.”

Just great!

We have been working with this client for more than a year, and I don’t want to lose him at all. Fortunately, the scans of documents remained on the mail and you can not go to the office for the originals at such a late hour.

He did it himself and handed it over to the client the next day. Alexis called on Saturday night:

Hello, I didn’t have time to do everything. Let’s go until Tuesday, or I’ve been done here.

and hello. Did you work before or after eating vodka with a fish test?

In the sense?

“Ola told me what you’re busy with. And don't worry about the job, I did everything, gave the client and got the money too.

Thank you for helping a friend.

Why thank you? You are there, ohh.

(He dropped the call)

Guess who is the enemy of the people?

For one and a half years, no matter how children are raised, the Bolsheviks still do.

As our director pleaded, he is the owner of the company, honestly earned grandmothers. The money for the work done went... but disappeared. People said briefly “money later.” I waited for a week... another... and stopped driving to the office. This combinator calls me, asking where he is missing. I say, there is no money. There is no gasoline. There is no transportation either.

You are a temporary trouble! Do you think I am honest?

Why don’t I believe, I believe. They believe in fuel. I was driving in the road, but at the same time I was sending them into the woods to see why.

I sit in my room, think about what to do and decided "let's play the piano" (my mom for 15 years regretted buying a piano, but my dad never bothered). So I decided for the sake of fun this time to ask Daddy, further dialogue:



Do you want me to play the piano for you?

Of course, just not now.

And when?

When I am not at home.



And now I think why did you ask A? ! to

XXX: I have a little bit of a fuck. When I was small and she came to visit, she kicked me in the chest every time and asked "does the breasts grow?" And then I grew up and sent her naked, of course, I ran for the mat, but the aunt got off.

You didn’t live up to my aunt’s hopes. She thought your breasts would grow and your eggs would grow.

I sat in the bus next to a woman of 60 years old today with a lateral sight I noticed that she was looking at me as it were.I think like all normal dressed jeans and a T-shirt, the hair is not painted in a bright color and makeup was not the wrong thing?I begin to look at her questionably and she gives me: A girl if God has rewarded you with such a breast it should be hidden, it is unpleasant when the girl shows and so on.

I first gently said I got into a stupor because I had an ordinary shirt without a cut even,the only thing that I had a size of 5 well so I didn't choose it.Only after a time when I had a shock I thought how some people are still trying to inject complexes in an empty place.What if this woman is a grandmother and she says to her granddaughter every day that the breasts are ashamed or that other physiological processes need to be ashamed.She remembered the case from school as my classmate told that when she went her first critical days her mother said to her: "all her childhood ended you are now a woman, so that men don't smell the smell of blood and they will hit you right away"She then was very scared and even walked these days to school.So that's what it would

A few years ago I went to work, got to study and there was a conversation about taste addictions and a girl who led the training says:

I do not eat meat.

Well, everyone started asking why and why and what you eat and then she gives a wonderful phrase:

Meat is getting older.

I couldn’t help but get into the conversation. I look so young that cigarettes are not always sold without a passport.



I eat meat and look young. Do you know how old I am?

Years 18-19

I am 29

Oh that devastating look, it was great.

The bosses are those whom lack of knowledge and understanding does not prevent from making decisions.

History on 1 June. In the same week when the future King of the French Chanson, Charles Aznavour, was born, his father, a former chef of the Tsarist army, and his grandfather solemnly opened a small Russian restaurant called the "Caucasian" at Rue de Champollion, 3. According to the plan of the masters, this institution was to gather under its shadow all the colour of the Russian emigration of the first wave - those noble princes and counts, who are now forced to earn modestly on bread, turning the lamb of Paris taxis. "They drive their cars, as their servants used to drive three," sympathetically breathed the heart-hearted Misha Aznavuryan, dreaming of a glass of wine about the times when, happily placed in the cozy atmosphere of his restaurant, customers will be able to quietly enjoy the dishes of the native cuisine and happily nostalgize, remembering past times. Reality, however, has made its dark adjustments to this crystal dream. The restaurant was always crowded, but the box was empty. The reason for such a strange contradiction was the good heart of Misha Aznavuryan. Visitors to the "Caucasian" - students, artists, endless Armenian relatives and acquaintances of hosts, as well as various beggars and passers, whom in Paris in the late twentieth years was a pond - preferred to eat in credit and didn't even think to pay. "Nothing, someday all these people will come to us to pay off debts and say thank you for helping them in a difficult moment," not tired to repeat naive Misha to friends who accused him of inappropriate simplicity. In general, everything ended as it should have been: in 1930, the last of the five "Caucasian" establishments of Aznavuryanov had to be closed. A few hours before the closure, two Ethiopian students from Addis Ababa entered the hall: "We came to pay... " " Don't wait, my friends, we still don't work," Misha Aznavuryan sadly answered them. Nevertheless, the students insisted on their own and, giving the money, left - becoming, thus, the only customers of "Caucasian", who for six years of existence of the restaurant paid for debts. Since then, Charles’s father has dreamed of leaving for Ethiopia, a mysterious country where such honest people live.

And why?
Why, it is asked, the employees of the Russian embassy in the U.S. still do not feed protesters with cookies?

XXX is lucky! Not mausoleum, not theft, not vandalism, but luthering is foolish! It no longer sounds so offensive.

Where the telecast took





YYYY :

Where did the gun come from?

He fell out of the white.

xxx: I apologize very embarrassed, scratched to tears, but I wonder “why in porn movies, when partners change poses, then a man in this interval stands and shakes?”

YYY: What not to stumble on the single ones.

We have a new designer. In the dining room, please tell us what you are interested in.

He says, “Well, I like to eat quietly.”

It is symbolic that the first day of summer, June 1st, fell on Monday (a heavy day). Given what is happening in the country and the world, summer promises to be as difficult and unpredictable as spring.

© Dmitry Sviridov

The Black Customs

Part 1

Once upon a time, we had two trainees from the middle seaside. The guys were a “hurricane”: each of them was just like that student from an old sea joke:

How much is in rumble?
Here I stand alone!
Idiot, what is the course?
The second! The Baku Seawalk!

So... here the storyteller has to long and thoroughly fill the tube with scented captain tobacco. Unfortunately, I have not smoked for a long time. Many years ago I decided to smoke while bunkering a ship. So half of the crew gently poured me with foam from fire extinguishers, and from head to foot. And the other half rushed to the layers, where they prepared to immediately jump overboard at the first signs of the beginning of the explosion. After I had washed off all this foam, the captain solemnly promised me that the next time we were alive, he would feed me all the papyrus he would find on the steamboat. That same evening I tried to swallow one papyrusine for the test. All - I no longer smoke.
So... I remember where I started: let’s go back to the practitioners. Starpom, protested them and was terrified. Giving the practitioners into slavery to the Botsman, he said, “These are real hurricanes!” In the hands of them nothing but dining appliances, not to give, on the open deck not to release, but on the shore to dismiss must be, suddenly our glorious crew will be lucky, and they will be lost. "
The practitioners were not lost anywhere, and by the intensity of their negative impact on the crew and the ship, they were indeed almost comparable to a tropical hurricane. One day, after listening to my narrative about the harm of smoking and the possibilities of tobacco cooking, the practitioners decided to quit smoking urgently. To do this, they threw all their cigarette reserves out of board and took from each crew member the "honest word" that no one would give them a cigarette, no matter how they asked.
And some day after three, they burned almost the entire supply of tea on a steamboat and began to get to the ficus in the captain's cabin, not realizing that the ficus was plastic. And here we enter one of the ports of North America.

Part 2

Is this your banknote? He asked “State” and showed the court doctor a five-hundred-dollar bill.

Roscosmos was buried, two batteries were broken.