Hello, I bought a car!! Congratulations to Grant!
He says: I congratulate you. Now I will call you a monkey with a grant.

Prehistory: the boss gave an iPad, after a while comes a message...

and colleagues,
In connection with the fact that on the iPad, the sequence of Excel file sheets is set from right to left and when opened on the iPad, the extreme left sheet is displayed (regardless of which of the sheets was last saved), the department moves to the numbering of sheets in the formable referrals from right to left. Example: if previously in the OJL certificate (Excel file) the sheets were numbered by dates 01.04, 02.04, 03,04....30.04, then now the numbering of the sheets will look like this: 30.04, 29.04, 28.04....01.04.
It is recommended to use this order of sheet numbering for Excel files sent to the Company management (approved by the Director).

I love my country and the people living in it.

How brutal you are.
You call your girlfriend a woman :)
YY: That’s the little thing I can be sure of in this life.

In comments on YouTube:
Dear members of MTS, Beeline, Megaphone, Tele2. No please dismiss your employees. Better kill them immediately, or they hit your spam.

I sit now, I have a stand behind my back with the keys from the base stations of the bilayne, MST.
Here the comrade proposes: "Let's open a chain of hotels, let's go overnight for 100 rubles, there is heat, ventilation."
He is opposed: "There is a technical air, there is little oxygen, copytes are thrown away."
Here is the third vote: "then we take the advance payment..."

My daughter and I are in the elevator. A neighbor goes with us. Her daughter builds her eyes, then tells her what her name is. The neighbor smiles quietly. We arrive, get out of the elevator, the neighbor says goodbye, and the daughter reacts: "Oh! She can also speak!"

Today, the institute discussed the original way of offering the hand and heart – the ring, which is inside the “child-surprise.” The Single Group:
-I imagine: the girl gives you 'Kinder', you open it, you eat, you open the container, you look at the ring and you scream of shock 'Where is Behemothic?'

Zheltij: Spy in Minecraft. The mountain master approached, looked at it and said that I was on the wrong side of the career.

Today on avito: section for home and furniture and interior:

"I’ll give my husband in good hands... it’s a pity. I don’t want to live with him."

We wanted yesterday in the grocery store to buy a sausage, and the seller from the sausage department as always is not there. Prepare to wait at least half an hour.
But a miracle! A senior salesman passes by and asks:
Do you need a girl on the sausage?
My friend is pleased too:
We need a girl on the sauce.

The boss: come today after lunch, we need to change the structure of the site completely.

A colleague is sitting at home with severe angina. The phrase from Asha:

* Yes, I am now actually a man's dream of homebuilding
Smart, beautiful, cooking and silence

All the bridges are burned... It will have to be repaired >_<

The market. The tents. From the musical comes the old song of today: "Cherry, cherry, winter cherry...". A man stands and sings. Here comes his friend/comrade/known (not important) and says "Well, let’s go?".
He said to him: "It will be time".
The first :?? to
That man waits when the second couplet begins and is already louder, and most importantly, with such a poisonous bass he sings: "When I turn into the old pledge, I chop venegret!" ", turns and says: "And now go! ".

Maybe we’ll spend this romantic evening together. He said.
Why not? she thought and said, “No!”

Never had to meet a story from an employee of the Russian Post.

They cannot use computers.

Onishchenko said at a press conference: “If in Soviet times you could buy 47 bottles of vodka for an average salary, now it’s almost a thousand. There is a difference" I want to answer him that the minimum retail price set by the state for a bottle of vodka is 98 rubles!!! The average salary in Ivanovo in "nearly 100 000 rubles" no!!! to

I sit... I write my diploma... the window is open, because it’s warm. In the courtyard, children walk on a pedestal. Suddenly the voice:
Take me up!! Shake me completely!
and sweet)

I received two orders...
One in court, the other in the military.
On the same day and at the same time.
But fucking in different places!!! to

Pleased with the graduation description:
Schoolchildren believe that this is the day they become adults. Adulthood is expressed in excessive consumption of alcoholic beverages. In the morning after graduation, inhabitants of the city can see schoolchildren who have lost in an unequal battle with alcohol and are now messy on the streets. A good tone is to blend the name of your class at the walls of the school."