bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №63073
 19.04.2012
"Post of Russia" will spend 25 million rubles
According to the head of the Directorate of Corporate Communications "Post of Russia" Svetlana Sergeeva:
“Thanks to this campaign, we expect to correct the distorted perception of the Post of Russia, which has developed in many of our citizens.

The EMS-delivery was three weeks instead of four days. This distorted perception is so distorted :)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №63072
 19.04.2012
Talk to my son:

I don’t want cheese, it’s too sweet.
I: Why so suddenly? There is no sugar.
son: I don't like it without spaghetti, and with spaghetti it's too sweet (

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №63071
 19.04.2012
Don’t be afraid to fall into dirt. Fear to fall your face into melted wax or, say, sulfuric acid.
@bekosh

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №63070
 19.04.2012
Then drive 500 meters, if you see the store, you have not turned there.

[ + 31 - ] [8 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63069
 19.04.2012
In the smoking, men under the age of 50 discuss the passage of Max Payne and Bullet Storm, one whispered:
- It's another thing, when I was passing the fallout, so I was thrown into shake by beer covers on the street, so I wanted to pick them up.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №63068
 19.04.2012
Nox: What is it?
Someone was invited to the wedding. There was a fifteen-year-old baptist nephew of my grandmother's granddaughter in the line of the niece of my three-year-old brother in the father's line to marry. I don’t know who and why. Go to Nashville.

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63067
 19.04.2012
xxx: Today in Skype correspondence with the boss made the most charming print: "I name the partners, so that the secretaries do not relax". The expression survived.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №63066
 19.04.2012
I was painted in red, not acid but noticeably changed the color. I met a friend. He did not notice. With whom does not happen. But, we pass by near the ATM, he says that it was like another. I look like a bankomat. I ask what the difference is. He replied, half a ton was darker. Shit, that the ATM changed the color for half a ton he noticed, and that I changed the color for four tons - not.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №63065
 19.04.2012
alex (20:54:28 17/04/2012)
Are your breasts an erogenous zone?and [
ylka (20:54:47 17/04/2012)
One of them...
Alex (20:55:05 17/04/2012)
What’s wrong with the second breast? Paralyzed by :
ylka (20:55:17 17/04/2012)
The MLA! One of the erogenous zones.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №63064
 19.04.2012
As in the institute at the Lractic from the morning, one group, who works as a bartender and just from the shift, almost falls asleep, the teacher every time looking at him issues:
Go home, I let you go!
No, it has already been released.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №63063
 19.04.2012
A nuclear bomb is also not difficult to make if all the details are at hand.
Mentos and kola?
Tagged: uranium
Uranium and car?

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №63062
 19.04.2012
x> I went to yoga yesterday. The instructor says: Breathe with your toes, pull the anus and eyes towards each other.
Y> It seems the translator was wrong. The original was: who does not breathe with his fingers, the eye on his ass stretch!

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63061
 19.04.2012
xxx is. Do you put your soul in the records?
YYYYY Is it possible to take a photocopy?

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №63060
 19.04.2012
My daughter is 10 years old. Her height is 1 m 50 cm, and she is already growing with her grandmother. Should my grandmother buy a child’s car seat?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №63059
 19.04.2012
The youth is gone!
XX: nor can they normally write, nor can they formulate their thoughts.
XXX is horror!
solidarity with you (
ZZZ: How old are you?
YYY: 21
Xxx: 21
zzz: oh fuck, you are the elderly dinosaurs of time

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №63058
 19.04.2012
Z&Nuda: He got it!In the cafe after eating will collapse on the chair and toothbrushes in the teeth

It’s fitting for everyone :(

Zizi: Tell him that you are decent people, and, in the end, you can be cut off.

Unnoticed :)))

Z&Nuda said :(

I was surprised and asked, but why do the waitresses put toothbrushes on the table?

Is he a Neanderthal?

Z&Nuda: Ugu:( and then went to the toilet with a toothbrush, returned and said: "Imagine,

Someone put a toilet paper there!! I wanted to use it, but I remembered in time.

We are good people."
and :(

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №63057
 19.04.2012
I broke up with yours yesterday. He took all his things and left his socks. I will throw them out, in the window, let them break!

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №63056
 19.04.2012
From the recall in the Android market on the alarm to disable which you need to solve math problems.
Capped
I found a bug - if in the standard task manager twice to tap on the completion, then it stops ripping, please fix, two weeks I can no longer get up in time.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №63055
 18.04.2012
I went to a shop and exchanged bills. It is 11 p.m. and the store is closing. Let’s go, friend without a back mind:
Please exchange five hundred rubles. You will end soon anyway.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63054
 18.04.2012
xxx: Remember, our medicains have the habit of calling what we call "peach", "peach"?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYY
So, behold, she came to check the mantle, and when Serega approached, she looked at his hand, and said, “You have something, a little piss.”
XXX: Friendly Gogot spread across the floors
YYY: XD

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