I wore my socks yesterday ;)
YYY: And how are they?
The man had to run away from the whole apartment.
I think it’s probably crazy 😉

The case was long ago. The Northern City. To collect the garbage from the houses according to the schedule came the self-driving. He stood up in the yard and cried loudly. People from nearby houses dragged the sludge and threw it into the body.
There was a truck in the yard at night. I went for somebody and told him that I was here - go out.
In a moment, the truck was filled with rubbish. The driver did not even understand what happened.

shtuka: I dreamed that my mother secretly opened several schools for poor children in Cambodia, and you were her secret assistant)) and it was all hidden from everyone)
Fee: Fuck, I told your mom to speak quietly when you sleep.

Alkashi neighbors settled in my house from the bottom, so I regularly listen to a three-storey drunk mat around 2:00 p.m. And then, after another almost sleepless night, I come back from the universe and see a neighbor standing below, smoking. There was such a dialogue:
I: Sorry, could you be a little quieter at night?
The neighbor (with an expression of surprise face): Oh, am I making noise? Sorry, I’m probably sleeping like that.

The Habr:

XHH: Testers will swallow you with these thoughts. In their language, "defects cannot be without, just not sufficiently tested." and :)

WOW: Much depends on the skill of the tester as well. For example, I know a tester who can press a button from the inside.

X: Yes, they are generally strange... Five-time digged up to some guy, such an independent type, forgot about my mom the podi, and she is worried, forced to call, to say that he is okay and loves her, to ask about the affairs... Well, as he called and talked - let him go...

xxx: Generally speaking, the automation in the field of logistics is weak.
xxx: in fact logistics - where two great Russian problems, fools and roads, merged
yyy: Tagged undermarked )))

>"како-goto" is a full whisper, degradation on the face

On the ass, mla... "now" it is written together, grammar-nazi is not done...

XXX is
Hearing the news: "Three-quarters of Russia turned out to be a fruitless emptiness"?
YYY
Meaning of?? to
XXX is
According to experts, three-quarters of Russia’s land is not suitable for agriculture.
YYY
Aha! Let them say it to the men. :D

The xxx:
Yesterday a great dialogue was heard between the furniture collectors at our office.
The xxx:
Do you drink vodka?
– No
Are you stupid?
I am allergic to her!
What kind of allergy?
I become drunk.

from the discussion on the prohibition of Wikipedia:

Do you know what a good Airbus A-380 is in this case?
YYY: What is it?
xxx: It is the only one that allows you to take out the entire douma in one move and without refuelling. and :)

A picture from a children's textbook, on which you need to guess the general feature of objects. The picture depicts: a whale, a penguin, a train, a booty and a piano.

The comments:

XXX: on the 4th image - the means of transportation.
Yyy: Oh, when I don’t have the piano, I’m striking the penguins.

What ads did not stick to the wall, so that the corner did not go by need... And the penalty was scared, and the evil dog, nothing helped. But it was worth hanging the plaque "Possy here, become a star of YouTube".

Marking of goods:

What does the skull and bone mean? The poisonous gases

From the back rows: Pirate cargo! and yo-ho!

If it went.
A few million years ago there was a glacier here and it never melted.

Technical support of the well-known manufacturer, customer comment (positive):

"...so the computer is good, only here are all the ports on the left, and my hand is only the right"

Healthy sarcasm and optimism.

XXX is:
A colleague asked me to charge for 5 minutes and went to Moscow with her.

Everyone has either pets or a special attitude towards pets.

So here - in the days of conversation with the Customer, I learn from him impressions about the work of our brigades. I have no time to react and comment, as the Customer is overwhelmed with emotions:

"Aha! Everything is well! I am pleased! Very well!! Everything was done! Everything is clear! A cat fell from the balcony. From the ninth floor! The neighbor’s cat. I went on the window - by habit - and yours pulled him into the film - well, he went! And I went!... And thank God! I was afraid that he would eat my turtle!

Yesterday a friend came to visit, well, in the process of conversation it turned out that he had holy water on the balcony and at minus 20 it did not freeze, but only became cold. The Holy Water does not freeze.
Or I was spending on the freezing and it smells!

Unfortunately, it has nothing to do with holiness. If the water is very clean (or rather even distilled) and stands in a bowl with perfectly smooth walls, then it may just be overcooled water. Under such conditions, the water does not freeze because there are no crystallization centers from which it could freeze. Just warn your acquaintance not to put your hands in her. His arm will instantly become the centre of crystallization and in a fraction of a second will freeze into the ice.

I am writing with my wife in Ashka. Then she didn’t answer something for a long time and I decided to write “Where are you?” but I went through the window and wrote to a colleague sitting at the opposite table. He looks shaken behind the monitor and so quietly: “I’m here... I had to explain that the sober...