bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №62953
 17.04.2012
Kitty88: So if I take it right, then I can’t get pregnant if the young man in me doesn’t end, but after a five-minute break, the sheep does a bad act so?
Fredd: Do you write so unevenly, disorderly and with mistakes, is it because you still have sexual intercourse?

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №62952
 17.04.2012
I have a colleague, let her name be Tanya, at 6 months pregnant. She sometimes guests with her mother, where there are 2 cats and there is still a brother, let's say, Vasya (the real names will not be disclosed, so as not to offend anyone's feelings). The brother in the room has a white carpet on the floor, which is something very expensive to him. He is attached to him gently. We are sitting at work and here a colleague writes to me:
Imagine, now my mom calls me and whispers: Tanya, the cats rattled on Vasin's carpet, take the blame on yourself. Otherwise he will kill them! Specifically, I’ve already said—that it was you."(note—what an ingenious mother with a great reaction, the animal protection society is already issuing her membership ticket, and rescuers are invited to work without a trial period, so lightningly react and submit the daughter for the sake of saving animals! 😉 😉
5 minutes of shame and the cats saved!
Only we laughed at the whole group, as a colleague again writes to me:
I thought: What if the cats hit him on the carpet next time? Should I blame myself too?"
The work stopped.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №62951
 16.04.2012
What, did you cut your hair?
Fuck me, did you? I removed the hat.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №62950
 16.04.2012
xxx: interesting... and at what age the phrase: "blin, I have a great idea!!!" replaced by the enthusiastic "B@I!!!!" and

[ + 32 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №62949
 16.04.2012
Only Leah could write that.
XXX with his eternal mistakes
He invited everyone – attention! for cooperatives
xxx: and our company reminds you to sell products for sex shops. and optom.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №62948
 16.04.2012
The book was written by several KDE developers in just 5 days using the quick-writing technique proposed by the FLOSS Manuals project.
It is nonsense.
Russian graduate students have the technique of rapid writing of theses. More than 100 pages in one day. and alone.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №62947
 16.04.2012
She is: aaablajajaja, it begins))))
She: The funniest hysterical system in PMS)))))))
She is: The First. I begin to strike in the face of the person I want attention to.
She is: The second. I begin to crave that I got an indifferent person to me with the cravings and demands of attention, I run on the ceiling.
She is: Third. To make sure that I did not get the man, I begin to pull him even more, from this psychic even stronger, the circle closes.
She is: The Fourth. At the same time, I feel the most unhappy creature in the world.
She is God. Shoot me by someone ((((((((
I was disconnected from the internet.

[ + 30 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №62946
 16.04.2012
Theft

Twister: My dream has finally come true)), I saw here what will be from the board in the subway when the train is no more than 9:59 =))

Where is the result??? I will not sleep now.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №62945
 16.04.2012
I was recently called on my mobile. The phone was found on the website of the Moscow Astroclub.
They said that on February 23 they are doing a corporate for some organization and they want a telescope and a man who could show stars, planets and galaxies. In the process of the conversation, I began to doubt the competence of the comrade at that end of the wire and asked, “Do you understand what to observe in the telescope at night?”
Comrade: And I thought you had such a powerful telescope that you can observe it during the day.
Shandrik: You can see the moon during the day, but it will not make an impression. There may be more spots on the Sun, but there are no ones right now and I don’t think we’ll see them before.
Comrade: "Can these spots be seen at night?"
Shandri: "No, the sun under the horizon at night"

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №62944
 16.04.2012
They produced a armored box for the iPhone that can withstand the impact of a 50-caliber bullet. At the same time, the developers carefully drilled holes for the screen, camera and buttons. This invention is stupidly inferior to the robots from the Matrix, where a place for human landing (without any protection) is provided accurately in the place where the spruce is shot.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №62943
 16.04.2012
After the game of paintball:
I’m so sick in the bed, I’ll probably have a bleach.
My fingers are red.
The girl:
I am right in the dojo!
and the entire company)

[ + 22 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №62942
 16.04.2012
I noticed my husband’s fingerprints on his back, clearly fresh. Oh, I say, did you scratch like that? He is "Now probably". I, like a slander with a hint "Well, this is clearly not from me!" And he turned under his nose and whispered "Ugu, this is from another you..."

[ + 14 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №62941
 16.04.2012
I apologize in advance for the probably ridiculous question. I know that coal reduces the contraceptive effect of OK. I take Logest at 11.30, yesterday at 22.00 I had to eat a cake, which was heavily burned (and it is also coal), unfortunately there was no possibility to refuse... Should you be afraid of reducing the contraceptive effect or were these techniques quite different from each other?

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №62940
 16.04.2012
Son 4 years.
Walk with relatives.
My father is deaf and he can’t hear.
We are all: how is it, why?! to
Dad, buy me a beer.
I: What did he say?! to
Son: Well you see...

[ + 30 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №62939
 16.04.2012
Today I have noticed just how different the new generation is from ours. I remember playing football as a child, collecting all kinds of traffic, cards, playing different superheroes. But today I saw a 5-6 year old boy, such a "Our bright future," screaming loudly to the whole yard that he is a "toilet puppy" and must save the world from the microbes under the toilet!

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №62938
 16.04.2012
In the chat:
I am of that ugly, ever lonely layer of the population, who is opposed to the murmurs of the "intelligent" and pseudo-aristocratic snob, just as is the stupidity of a simple Russian buffalo.
As I understand you, Suarez.
The same thing, brother.
The fucks...

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №62937
 16.04.2012
From the forum, questions of GAI:
KUKA22# - Can I pass on to category B without studying in the auto school? The tank?
Marsmensch – If you take a canister, it is easy. Well, if the tank, but all categories will give.

[ + 39 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №62936
 16.04.2012
ya:(11:33:10 16/04/2012)
How is it?
Toughened (11:33:19 16/04/2012)
Greetings
Toughened (11:33:32 16/04/2012)
I fell into a fresh tomb yesterday.
Toughened(11:40:54 16/04/2012)
She was at the cemetery, went "to the woods", and there everything was dusted in the snow. Which where the snow wildly melted and formed sink, fool. I jumped from island to island and headed straight to the grave of Herrax. I thought I would describe myself directly in it. Calling for help was pointless. In short, there was fear. It all came out like the devil dirty, stinking, in clay by belt.
Now, of course, everything is in a different light, but the feeling that you are in the grave is unforgettable :)

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №62935
 16.04.2012
To this:
I drive with the computer. Mother comes in.
What are you doing?
I set the video card.
You should have learned to cook!
You will not argue...

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №62934
 16.04.2012
A conversation between a young and an elderly (very arrogant) colleague at the department:
How are you... Mary?
M: Yes, Elena Valerievna, I listen to you.
I am Elena Vasilievna!
I am Marina. Very pleasant.

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