bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №95312
 15.03.2014
From the conversation in the sauna:
"Look, you see scars on the elbow - it was my operation done by my friend, the best surgeon in Russia on the elbows and knees. The Professor. They are all athletes...
It does not hurt, the hand works. In general, he said, we don’t like friends and relatives to do, but it’s okay.
He says he doesn’t need surgery on his knee. I did not think...
I tell him - Well, you have such a department, so many students-masters! You will choose the best...
He’s gone mad for me, you? I will go to Germany...
Uff

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №95311
 15.03.2014
When a friend told me “choose, or I, or a rat,” I replied (calmly, with a smile) “Or it’s like choosing between something equal... Do you equate yourself to an animal?”) )". She did not come up on this topic anymore.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №95310
 15.03.2014
The day of the number "pi" is devoted to:

You just have to try.
Remember everything as it is:
Three, fourteen and fifteen.
Ninety two and six.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №95309
 15.03.2014
Four people in the office. Three of them are taken on a literary position, but are essentially engaged in editing and adjustments. Only one in four is a writer. He is a designer.)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №95308
 15.03.2014
The life of the disabled in Russia is so harsh that the Paralympics for them is a resort.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №95307
 15.03.2014
xxx but I wonder why it is not one of the champagne wines factories of the conflicting camps has not yet released the brand "Widow Klitschko"?

yyy "Sleza Tymoshenko" would be good selling :)

xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx
It’s a junkyard ?
It is cozy ?

c) Icon Mat

[ + 27 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95306
 14.03.2014
Turn off AdBlock and you will be surprised what the Internet can be :)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №95305
 14.03.2014
XHH: I asked somehow the administrator of everyone who needs an account on our server to send it to ASKA(!) Application for registration and required nick.
One of the employees sends him a message with a mystical text: "Reg nid. Yeshua "
Why is it mystical?
Xxx: You read it the opposite. So this guy after sending the message went to the long mode and has not returned until now and does not respond to messages, but at the same time is online. By this, admin is confused whether to cut it or not.
Yyy: Hey... Uzer Schrödinger.
Xxx is true.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №95304
 14.03.2014
XXX: Opening of the Games
The Olympics, and what?
XXX: Listen to me
At the opening of the Olympic Games, the Russian flag was carried by Zubkov, and at the opening of the Paralympic Games, the Russian flag was carried by Redkozubov.
I think that’s logical XD

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95303
 14.03.2014
The Day of the Number Pi on March 14
XX: Generally speaking, today is the month of Pi – 3.14 am :)
YYY: And in a year it will be the day of Pi: 3.14.15, according to the American record.
ZZZ: It needs to be promptly officially declared the “Year of the Full Pi”! and :)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №95302
 14.03.2014
fromKorolev: a slide will be the future.. years in 20... films on 500TB, resolution 19800x 10240... And the slide of this type
Do you have a 500 TB flash?
Only for 250.
PSP, are you there, do you keep the doc files? Are you looking at what on your phone with a shit resolution of 9900x5120?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №95301
 14.03.2014
and Eureka! I am growing up a third child. Watching cartoons is an integral part of their lives... well, and mine, respectively! I have seen them hundreds and thousands of times! But! Today is! I learned that LUNTIQ is a fox, a moon bee!!! Now I know everything!)

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95300
 14.03.2014
this->

You can, of course, try to explain to her that men are not a place in women’s shops, but as an example, ask her to go to the metiz shop, buy a label, a barrel and a groove, all on the M3, as well as cartridges for gypsum, with a two-step cartridge and slices under the cross. I’m not sure she will understand you.
This is one of the most important things in the world.

And if I understand and buy everything right, will you go with me to women’s shops?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №95299
 14.03.2014
I go today in the subway (St. Petersburg) on the Baltic (in the direction of the bridge). Veterans), the doors are closed, after a while they are opened again, we are waiting. Then the driver announces the train is not going further please leave the wagons. Everyone leaves the cars and we wait. This is happening further. The engineer says the train should still go further back into the wagons. Everyone comes back. After that I understood that the machinery can fucking everything.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №95298
 14.03.2014
I do not understand, and why everyone is outraged by education reforms...Our children are being trained by intellectuals!
The child in the class was given a homework. Find a word with four letters. One letter is already known, but marked by a picture. It looks like 4 empty cages, in the second a dog is painted. It would seem, obviously, that the second letter is C. And here’s the fuck! It turns out, r R is fucking. Because the dog is roaring! Where do I get my IQ?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №95297
 14.03.2014
ZZZ: Hello to you!! How is it?
XXX: Are you a pitcher?
ZZZ: What about what? No, and what about you? Hearing...
XXX: friend don’t write here, don’t have to
ZZZ: Do you only communicate with the pirates? So for now :)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №95296
 14.03.2014
Do you remember that I owe you 600 r.? Since last year
WOW : is it?
Tag: shut up
But the unexpected
Xhhh: and I still so lucky then joke type "I will give in a year"

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №95295
 14.03.2014
Straga: There was a smell of gas in the neighboring building, everyone ran out into the street. What do you think they are doing there? They are right at the entrance and smoke.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №95294
 14.03.2014
Now the question is, who is more concerned about the Magadan or the Ukrainians who learned that the Volga-Grad schoolchildren in Magadan are demanding the European integration of Ukraine?

We are all upset because the Volgograd people believe that their city is called Volgograd.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №95293
 14.03.2014
I work in the best company.
In the corporate chat:
SP is listed. Expect to fill your wallets and pockets.
After lunch, don't go out for beer, but disciplined gathered in the office)))
To be disciplined in beer.

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