bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №62793
 13.04.2012
Prorok: I can't play shats in the wave
Prophet: Because otherwise I will not give up
Opium deliciously heated the Prophet according to Ozhegov's dictionary.
Why did you warm me up?
Opium repeated the procedure.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №62792
 13.04.2012
XXX: I hear you.
Leave the huge trees in peace!! to
XXX is a dolphin!! Where will we live?!! to
XXX: Not there

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №62791
 13.04.2012
In 20-30 years at retro.fm I will chase the dabe step

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №62790
 13.04.2012
It's only the shit can love a girl just for the fact that she's playing the shit games.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №62789
 13.04.2012
If you have never borrowed, you are not only wise, but poor.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №62788
 13.04.2012
This vacuum cleaner company reminded me of a religious sect: I could not get rid of them for months, even by throwing the bell. Finally, the girl cried out that she would be fired unless she showed me her unfortunate vacuum cleaner. I could not withstand and gave up. There were two: the same girl and her boss, a young, impressive guy. Maybe it’s hypnosis, but I was really determined to put them out in ten minutes, and only put them out in four hours. All this time, the girl was dealing with the real Kamasutra with her huge vacuum cleaner and its numerous ticks, and at the same time she continuously cuddled. I still can’t get rid of the feeling that I have to devote the rest of my life to dusting out the billions of tiny monsters that have grown in my carpets and clothes. The guy, no fucking help the girl, recorded in a notebook each of her cheeks. How do you get her out here? Finally, a guy asked me to give a contact to who else can offer their unique products. I suggested that if I give it, they will stop bothering me. I gave them the phone of my worst enemy. The guy broke into the notebook and said – this won’t go, let’s go again. “How will it not go?” “I’m upset,” he said, “he’s making a good job, just for your vacuum cleaner for five thousand dollars. I am not the one who has struck you!” The answer was surprisingly simple and logical: “You understand, he just gave us your phone...”

[ + 56 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №62787
 13.04.2012
Learning that the ex-husband is marrying a young neighbor, she avenged him with a purely female deception: she married the neighbor's father and became a aunt.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №62786
 13.04.2012
From a telephone conversation:
“Antoch, you have a tail of some stupid...
M is? Where did you find him?
In the garden, to the right, at the wall.
Mishana, this is a column!

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №62785
 13.04.2012
Bogatyr: The Proverb is Right
If a man is strong
He wants, it is necessary.
“I found out yesterday,
Never managed to run to
and sort.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №62784
 13.04.2012
Discuss the Japanese protective film, on which scratches and scratches disappear themselves.
MaxBaron888: the Japanese again
Rodium: Well, they don’t have fragments, nanocubies, projects for the development of the nation. The axes and other webcams are scattered, so you have to spend money on real nanotechnology.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №62783
 13.04.2012
Q: Why do everyone react like this? If a girl is married and has a child, then can not kiss?
See also: EM Find out where the error is.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №62782
 13.04.2012
xxx: When I picked up the car, the manager was ready to wash out his mother only if I could buy the car, but at the first warranty treatment they talked to me as if I had a huge piece of shit on my shoes.
This is your homeland, son.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №62781
 13.04.2012
Have you read the book The Adventures of Sasha Grey?
I watched the screenshot :D

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №62780
 13.04.2012
In Egypt, my son is 5 years old.
They’re all in English, we’re all normal.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №62779
 13.04.2012
And only recently I understood why we didn’t get along...

I’m an accountant and he’s Sisadmin.

[ + 29 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №62778
 13.04.2012
Workers of the Sberbank, the Russian Post, the clinic and the pension fund of the Russian Federation gathered to change their passports.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №62777
 13.04.2012
You know what the name is ""?
and mm?
xxx: Well, by phone, for example, how would you explain that you need to press the "\" button?
Tagged: sleepless
YYY: The reverse slash
Few people know which one is reverse and which one is not.
XXX: This is how we got caught.
XXX: The Pioneer Sleeve!! to
XXX is ?

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №62776
 13.04.2012
In the bathroom, after...km... procedures I stand and, blissfully crushing, dry my hands.... relaxed such.... And here the sound of such "pшык" and in the same second I in my mouth a stream of suffocating portion of the smell refresher on!!!! Well, what idiot from the hospital department came to the idea of putting an automatic smell on the hand dryer, which is at the level of the face? My eyes are still tearing and shaking...

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №62775
 13.04.2012
University of Finland (Finacademie) There is an advertisement near the elevator:
"Sold very spacious and comfortable cabinet in good condition....bla-bla"
Two consecutive inscriptions with a pen:
- "How much is the capacity on a 10-point scale?"
- "Three adult bodies and two child bodies are quietly placed))))"

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №62774
 13.04.2012
HH: Shortly, that yesterday Sam performed
I told him the day before – let’s be friends, I don’t want a relationship.
I stand with my mom at the box office in the supermarket.
Oh, my best friend!"he approaches and kisses me.
He goes away without saying a word anymore.

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