bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №125056
 03.03.2016
But I have - I will share a touching moment - the name "Florence" from childhood is associated with impure force, and in no way this association, apparently, can no longer beat. And all why? Because we have a lot of books. And in one of the bookstores, just at the level of my childhood curious eyes, there were books of Khmelevskaya. After seeing the name "Florence is the daughter of the devil", and adopted it for the definition of the...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №125055
 03.03.2016
A year ago I castrated a cat. In the summer we went to the village. The cat was given a walk as usual. Missing for two days! Then the whole dirty came back, in the company of two cats. White and red, very young. And so they lived with us on the half-summer site. In general, not eggs color a man, but charisma.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №125054
 03.03.2016
I was in love and the doctor appointed me.
Awesome attacks of spring
Black and white pills.
and dreams

Therapy does not help
I ate a bag of coal and mill.
Healed from passion.
But it was just a puddle...)))

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №125053
 03.03.2016
My husband has been "J" at work since January. All weekends have been removed, from the word "completely", half a day of Sunday can not be counted as a weekend. Added hours to the working day voluntarily and forcibly. They promised "it’s only until the end of March... maybe..."
I called him today from work, with tears in my voice, asking him to pick him up. He said he would be good, kind and kind. He will go to bed without caprices, eat cabbage and go to the village to cut wood.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №125052
 03.03.2016
Excel – Pain

The pain is young professionals.
Any reports are of two types:
1st Data for yourself (sector, department, etc.)
2nd Data for the boss.

The first serves the workflow, including the creation of the second. They need to draw conclusions.
The latter already contains conclusions.
The first is the instrument, the second is the result.
If it cannot be printed or displayed on the projector, why a report to the boss? Your boss needs the outcome of your work. A specific vision. This is rarely 4D data.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №125051
 03.03.2016
In the second heroes, the mausoleum should not be produced by faces, but by Ilyichs!

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125050
 03.03.2016
From the cinema:
>... our answer to Hollywood.

We have an endless answer to Hollywood. Hollywood did not ask questions, and we constantly impose our answers on him. And that looks pretty strange. The silent Hollywood turned his ass at us. We are always screaming in that ass.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №125049
 03.03.2016
Loy Yver: I have willpower-treated arachnophobia. I’m not afraid of spiders now, but they still cause a sense of fear in me. If I did not go, I would try to catch a spider and drive it out of the apartment.

Whc: With things?

Loy Yver: Yes! Let him wrap his web and rain!

[ + 46 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125048
 03.03.2016
I briefly summarize:

Coughing by covering your mouth. Cheat as well. By the way, the destroyers of legends have long been proving that the most effective (safe for others) to cough is not the palm, but the flexion of the elbow, although the option of the cloth is out of competition.
- Put the wheelchair in public transportation with the words "Please let", and not "Paddy nits, ugly people, the queen will walk". React to this with the phrase "Do you help?", and not "Here are the minors".
People who sit in transport sit not because they are uneducated, but because they want to drive sitting. Tired, not sleeping, the leg hurts, the back hurts, little or nothing. If you think you need a seat, ask to give it up.
- To try to make you good to say "Thank you", if you don't need to, thank you anyway. "Thank you, I have to drive two stops" sounds much better than "Well and naked you, shit, stand up, hinting that I am an old ruin, it is time for the cemetery?".
- Teach the phrases: "Let me go", "Please", "Thank you", "If you are not difficult", "Be kind", "Sorry, this is I careless", "Nothing terrible", "Thank you". You are not difficult, and the interlocutor is pleasant.
Not to blame yourself.

Thanks for attention.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125047
 03.03.2016
Why are they all complaining? In the spring the snow must melt. But in order to break up, he must first fall out.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №125046
 03.03.2016
The Ministry of Education has already decided to reduce the summer holidays for schoolchildren to one month. But if the petition written by the student properly and without errors, will be sent to the e-mail address before 25.05.2016 can cancel the decision. We need to collect 100,000 petitions.
Send me a soap address.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №125045
 03.03.2016
Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank.
Give a man a bank and he can rob everyone.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №125044
 03.03.2016
Why in the Russian language "the body" - an unanimated substantive, and "the dead" and "the deceased" - an animated? All because the corpse can no longer hurt anyone, and the dead and the dead are more active, they stand along the road with hair.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №125043
 03.03.2016
Ryu aka the horse. We have a colleague. She has a husband, her husband has a car, but is decorated for my wife (my colleague). She received a fine, on the website of the hybrid. There is a photo of the car. In the cars a husband and some grandmother (146% not a wife), around the background of the neighboring city. Carroce man climbed nicely.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №125042
 03.03.2016
The xxx:
I want heavy shoes.
I want them for a month, I want to die.
Imagine me in these shoes.
With a red mask.
The world would be ideal.

and ZZZ:
The world would know about it.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №125041
 03.03.2016
In 1971, these are the words and should be limited to:

A 24-year-old fool who gave birth to a child without even learning to a master at her faculty, never travelling, not especially trying to build a career.
I am writing to you, with regret realizing that all of the above was not understood by my own mother, a girl with a birth injury that harassed me all my life, a homeless woman.

And not to spread the propaganda of the rabbit and the rabbit. Jurodiev, including those who have a very good birth injury, we love and regret, but they are not in a hurry to follow their example.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №125040
 03.03.2016
cannot be criticized. The boat breaks. The food tickens.

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №125039
 03.03.2016
In Stavropol, a man is judged for what he wrote in the Contact "God is not".
Shame on those who are believers.

But you’ll prove that this is my account, and that’s what I wrote.

Imagine, How much should I care about the security of my computer and Wifi to avoid a situation in which I can be jailed for 8 characters sent from my IP address?

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №125038
 03.03.2016
In a city where there is a factory and special forces and a military unit are required, to go and get no one's unwanted crust of a psychiatrist, and then cry about the debt that you can't find a job - it's five!

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №125037
 03.03.2016
XXX is
-Chet yesterday tried to apply for a gun to do through the state services could not.

YYYY
And now what?

XXX is
Did you use this resource?

YYYY
- yes, I check the taxes there, the fines, the application for a gun did not file, I do not file, and I am not going to file) neither for myself nor for a friend)))

HHH
Fuck... I bite.

YYYY
Well, I guessed what you’re talking about.)

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna