bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №124976
 01.03.2016
Discussions from the forum search for places by photo:
XXX: Brussels and Belgium
YYY: How is it?
XX: Well you know, it was very simple. First, I analyzed the main factors. "Zhuk" is in a broken state, the numbers are Belgian, meaning he does not go to any exhibitions, and therefore the Netherlands, the Netherlands and even with them we are sewing off. Then came a row of secondary factors, this is extremely characteristic leaves, laying and missing column - after analyzing them I noticed that in the inbox I answered the author of the post on the subsite toska, respected rothbard and told where he took this photo.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №124975
 01.03.2016
I am stressed by our elderly boss, who every morning calls on the internal phone of a friend of the same age and starts the conversation with the words: "Oh, you are still alive?!". Well then hello!and'

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №124974
 01.03.2016
On the eve to relax, watched a couple of series "Walking" before going to bed - a fan of this series. As a result, I dreamed all night as if I was hunting for zombies and hitting their heads to kill.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №124973
 01.03.2016
The smell of spring!
YYYYYYYYYYYYYY Ura to! Ura to! I even cleaned the tree yesterday.
XXX: Not yet May?! to
YYY: Everything is fixed. I just moved it to the balcony.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №124972
 01.03.2016
One of my friends worked in a church and told me a story.
Near Samara there is a monastery, standing near the Volga, near the monastery beach.
Girls decided after the beach to go to put a candle, go in swimsuits
Upon entering them, the father says that this is not possible.
The girls are gone and one of them says.
I told you that they don’t leave without clothes!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №124971
 01.03.2016
An employee, a grandmother under 80 years old, loudly shakes papers - looking for something and whistles:
There are decent women, and I am so disorderly.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №124970
 01.03.2016
xxx: now we approached the house - a crown sits on a tree and whispers
XXX: The neighbor's cat
The first day of spring :D

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №124969
 01.03.2016
XXX: Do you have the screws with you?
yyy: Cross 2 large, 1 thin. 1 large 1 thin
YYY: Well I have a floor set always in my backpack)
yyy: Plus roulette and knife
Why is Roulette? % of
Yyy: And suddenly the drunk and the dispute of whom is longer?))))))

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №124968
 01.03.2016
Xxx: Well, shut up to 5 strictly. I have cancelled :)
Xxx: from 8 to 5
YYY: The pass was introduced?
Xxx: No, as long as they follow :)
By the cameras?
Xxx Why? The frame engineer sits in the morning and evening near the entrance and writes :) nanotechnology, you understand :)
Xxx: We haven’t grown up before cameras yet :)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №124967
 01.03.2016
A small child loves cartoons-He asks me a question.Why do Barbie puppies have different breeds? Difficult with answering.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №124966
 01.03.2016
Well, I was hungry, cold, tired... I couldn’t stand, short. It is delicious, delicious and delicious.
Forgive me, guys, I’ll make you a new soup tomorrow!

In addition to jokes, my aunt was drunk. She also has a cat. And she had a bitch - it must be cooked to eat the cat. I go with fish. In any case, on the machine. When the sad stage passed, she managed to get out - realized that the cat saved her life.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №124965
 01.03.2016
When the wife has three suitcases for her husband, and he goes lightly, it comes to the people somehow that the man has problems with his back, well, it happens, nothing supernatural. But if the unfortunate husband strayed from the supermarket food, which will be prepared for him - it is worthy to become a network frightener, ah!))) The fact that the aunt, in addition to the probability of a problematic spine, sometimes has the probability of an early, not yet noticeable random pregnancy, and it accompanies her because it is difficult for her husband to choose the purchases himself - too radical to come to mind.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №124964
 01.03.2016
The year 2066, the Oscar ceremony.

The main prize is... well, of course, DiCaprio.
It was his 51st Oscar.

Leo is crying. He does not want anymore. He hasn’t been in a movie for 20 years, just not to see this red track. Someone shot him out of the toilet, and this video won an Oscar.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №124963
 01.03.2016
yyy: (...) I’m not talking about "create an IP".

What is the meaning of "create"?

YYY: In the word itself, there is nothing like that. But to create an individual entrepreneur (IP) can only Mom and Dad. And an adult (already created) can register as such. In the people also say "Open/Close" IP.
"Create an IP", you can probably say, but it’s not too common, something like "give birth to LLC" or "push up the PJ".

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №124962
 01.03.2016
About photographs

During the primary school we were massively dragged into the pool.
They asked to bring pictures for permits.
I was released from physical education at the time, the teacher knew this.
She wanted to take pictures every day.
The explanation that it would not be needed did not help. He threatened to put a double in a quarter.
My parents were scared of me, they said you won't go anyway, why take a photo.
But what the teacher asks, so you explained it wrong, explain it again.
It ended up in the fact that I got into a family album and cut off my face from a photo in the kindergarten.
brought the teacher.
She returned to me the same day, saying, “You’re released from the pool.

Since then, I have been very cautious about the demand to bring a photo.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №124961
 01.03.2016

here here :
Better on August 32 than on February 29!!! to

Nea, better on January 0th, everyone still sleeps almost until evening

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №124960
 01.03.2016
Commentary on News
>> 18:50 In Crimea, newborn boys were handed orders to the military commissions for 2032
Until they can escape...

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №124959
 01.03.2016
We work with a team of builders in the building. An elite house, we go to the last floor, there type of penthouse: only two apartments on the floor and each 5-7 rooms plus a terrace.
We go through the hallway, I hear a partner singing something, listening: eyehtaa co-communal, communal apartment, eyehtaa co-communal, communal country.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №124958
 01.03.2016
A joke about toys stuck to the floor old as the world
The daughter today on her own experience learned the modern version: sandals to death attached to the carpet)))

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №124957
 01.03.2016
Then the wife asks, “Do you want to buy the fish I like so much?”

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna