bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №45552
 06.04.2011
Interview on the anime forum:
Zai-tyan: I eat discs with anime! and URA!
Froggy: Who is eating? O_O
Zai-tyan: You don’t understand, I have discs with anime ;)
Froggy: God, why does he do this?

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №45551
 06.04.2011
In the countries of the former CIS in the presidential elections most often wins the candidacy "who would doubt."

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №45550
 06.04.2011
I read here for days the story of the grubas about how the man of the haishnik tried to shake up, and I thought that most probably were on the side of that man. In fact, his haishnik acted nobly, but against the law. Who knows who he will release next time? History is not about that. It was told by a veteran of GAI, who has not worked in the police (or now the police) for 25 years.

He served in those times when the State Auto Inspection was not as mobile as it is today, there was very little technology, but like people were better. There were almost no thicknesses and turns in the pursuit. And here he, then even the senior sergeant, had a fairy tale. He was put to work on a speed meter. And we have to say that in those years even a motorcycle was placed far from every inspector, and the service cars for the whole city were from the force of dozens. In winter and summer, in any weather, the haishniki carried the service "on their two", and to the place of the accident were often reached by sidewalks. So the service, which today is generally not sugar (unless the pants are wiped out in the office), then was extremely difficult.

Here is such a farth. The speed meter of that time is not your current radar, it is a device that looks like a projector and weighed about 10-12 kilograms. Therefore, the meter was attached to the car - the ordinary 412 "Moskvich" of orange colour without identification marks and "blinkers". The task is to stand near the stationary station of GAI on the track and measure the speed at the encounter. Anyone who violates the report will be stopped there. There was no fixation of the indications of the device, but it was not accepted to argue with the inspector. The work on the meter is not that dustless - a paradise compared to the work of a regular postman.

And here once he stands on the side, the device set on the seat, waiting.
On Sunday evening, holidaymakers go to the city, but there are few cars. And here he sees: from the side of the garden cooperative flies the "Jigul" - "Troika" (the most luxurious car at the time). The device shows... no matter what it shows, it is important that the speed is exceeded, you have to report to the post. But here the driver of the "troika", seeing that behind the wheel of the "Moskovich" sits a man in shape, apparently understands that "fall". He stops at the opposite side and swarms toward him with a grim sight.

What did the commander exceed?
There is a little.
So... I’m in a hurry.
Where are you in a hurry, chauffeur?
“You know, comrade inspector, ‘right’ I forgot at home! Here is honest
For the first time with me! Going on a trip and at the table.
has left. Please let me go, my trip is breaking down.
You don’t have any documents, right?
Well... well what to do...

What to do, just knew the young senior sergeant - to go to the post and there to find out from the city phone the identity of the "bad" driver. But it deceived kindness. And the man was somewhat simple. It was like yesterday from the village. The villagers were respected by the inspector. In general, it ended with the fact that he rushed into confusion and let go with peace. To say goodbye, he tried to give the inspector a mint cherry (which was quite a heavy amount then), but he pushed the driver's hand away.

The next day, barely entering the GAI building, the “good” inspector encountered the assistant of the guard.
“Well, Petya, about... you’re your happiness...” he thoughtfully said to him. go go
The commander is waiting for you.

The "simple" man turned out to be the new deputy chief of the UVD, harmful and intrusive. When he arrived at the post, he immediately presented himself and demanded a phone. In the morning, Petino’s happiness ended. Instead of a speed meter, he entered a pedestrian post, and another one - under the windows of the city's UVD. And as you know, you have to stay away from the bosses to avoid... But this is not what the inspector remembered most. Not an excuse for a personal matter. For his whole life he remembered the last words of the insidious deputy after the chief "working":
It’s a pity that you didn’t take that trunk, I would have put you in.

Since then, according to Peti, who has long been Petro Mikhailovich, he has always been in service first of all as appropriate, and then humanly. Because it is not known yet whether they will thank you for your kindness, but the bosses will not let you go.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №45549
 06.04.2011
Happiness is when there is an opportunity not to lie, answering the question “How is it?”“”

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №45548
 06.04.2011
Zzzz: Gosh needs to be rubbed, requires brain cleansing
SSR: Who is it?? to
Zzz: My wife calls her work computer so :-D
zzz: when we worked together - she comfortably writes to me - come, help move Gosha, I just wavered. I come, and she has a paper glued on her monitor with the inscription "GOSHA". Everyone has the inventory, and she has the fuck, GOSHA))) women.

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №45547
 06.04.2011
The freedom of choice in Russia reminds me of this:

State: choose where you want to be caught, in the mouth or in the pop?
The people: Hurra! We have freedom of choice!

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №45546
 06.04.2011
x: ICQ is a flower on the grave of working time!
y: And in combination with Classmates, Contact, Facebook - a whole bouquet there...
z: ugu, wreath... with tape activity...

[ + 60 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45545
 06.04.2011
You are here (12:57:43 5/04/2011)
Sometimes I buy my tongue and cook, clean and eat it all 😉
Nikita (12:58:23 5/04/2011)
Fou, I can imagine the cows licking each other’s ass badly.

[ + 62 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45544
 06.04.2011
and all. I can no longer hide this secret.
Ask the verbal question: "What does he do?". Not in the question of "B" -not in the verb either: suffering, like.
There is in the question "B" - "what do they do?" then and in the verb write: meet, like and whatever the soul wants.
Please do not torment your intuition in vain.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №45543
 06.04.2011
xxx: The news says that the Americans have directly addressed our Rosatom with a request to “not draw attention” to the fact that the Fukushima Nuclear Power Plant is essentially an American project and a product of American technology.
Yyy: And before that they asked not to draw attention to Libya.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №45542
 06.04.2011
Surmise: After 15 years of filling the house with things, my grandmother still admitted that the place was over.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №45541
 06.04.2011
Ten programmers sitting in the office
One smoked out the window and nine were left.

Nine programmers met with MacOS
One went crazy and there were eight.

Eight programmers googled about BDSM
One of them went in and there were seven left.

Seven programmers were looking for wool.
One hit the beard and there were six left.

Six programmers contested again.
One said that it was bad and there were five.

Five programmers are locked in the sorting
One struck his foot in a bowl and they became four.

Four programmers stayed there.
One decided to be a tarantula and there were three left.

Three programmers returned to their basement
One stumbled in the dark and two remained.

Two programmers scattered the викодин
One went away, they remained alone.

One programmer took a break.
So there are no more of them here.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №45540
 06.04.2011
A friend burns: looks at the monkey, finds information about some concert, comes into ecstasy, calls the guy:
and Valer! Cancel all plans for April 26th! I’m going to go to... A-A-A-A!!! This news has been around for 3 years =(

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №45539
 06.04.2011
Wikipedia article on sex toys:
XXX: What a cute whirlwind!
YYY: Sorry, but where do I need to vibrate it?
zzz: Yes, you can do a whole cartoon about it, "Toy Story" xD
XXX is Oga. And there will be "help the vibration escape to find its purpose".

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №45538
 06.04.2011
xxx: and why, sorry, monitors are even 17 inches larger for those who do not watch movies and edit photos 24 hours a day? Can you drive more with the mouse?
Why is the apartment more than 10 square meters? A man who doesn’t go around all the time. How long would it take to wash the bathroom, right? and :)

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №45537
 06.04.2011
From the hub, discuss the algorithm for searching for porn videos among the added materials:

XXX: Although, at the stage of acquaintance sounds very cool:
Girl: “What are you doing?” (expecting a boring answer)
xxx: Developer: “We filter boring porn from interesting!”

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №45536
 06.04.2011
Sori for Orphography.
Take care of illiteracy!

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №45535
 06.04.2011
Semen Aristarchovich: Ohhh, can I fight with you?
XHH: What is it? OO
Semen Aristarchovich: What is what?
What is the meaning of the word "commit"?))
Semen Aristarchovich: Will we reconcile?
XH: Yes
...
Q: Let’s go back to the topic of conversation. Or are we just talking about distracted topics?
Semen Aristarchovich: A?
XHH: Did you want to talk about something specific or just hurt?
Semen Aristarchovich: Specifically, I wanted to move
This is the PSC...

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №45534
 06.04.2011
Andrew V Semenov, 04.04.2011 22:07:40:
The sun would be a good teacher.

Menu, 22:08:51:
To be honest, I’m not sure...I don’t explain it clearly.

Andrew V Semenov, 22:10:05
You need to be honest 😉 😉 😉 😉

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №45533
 06.04.2011
from contact.
Picture with the inscription "Give her flowers. Without reason and without subjects. From the heart to the heart."
The comments:
Men are mad.
Flowers are not given.
The florists are mad. 600p for 5 Gerber and no discount for students.

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