bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №62633
 10.04.2012
XXX: Yes, it is, but if anything, it is not to say, but of course.
YYY: Dick Epty
YYY: What am I talking about?

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №62632
 10.04.2012
yyy:my principle in relationships - and even more so in cohabitation)) the man should leave the house with dirty eggs and a full stomach))

XXX: Let us live together? :D


[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №62631
 10.04.2012
from ZH:

Eleven-year-old Lisa explains to a 4,5-year-old girl, Alexandra:

A touch phone is better than a button. And even better - to have two phones - touch and button. Sensory home to boast girlfriends and play games. Buttons to wear at school. Because if something happens to the button, the parents will not kill. Only slightly shattered.

[ + 40 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №62630
 10.04.2012
Blue is no longer a color, and the point is no longer a number.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №62629
 10.04.2012
We have a small company of two people plus serving us by the combination of an accountant. In January 2011, the accountant was one day late with the submission of the report on the inventory to the tax inspectorate. In June, the courier mail brought a strict paper from the district tax office – “...the camera check revealed the most gross violation... a fine... to appear... in case of non-payment...”. Frightened, I rushed to the inspector, stretching out my wallet on the way. No, they told me, you will get an order from the peacemaker and after the judge's decision you will be given the details of the account to transfer the amount of the fine of 50 rubles. Cash is not possible - only from the company's bank account.
A few days later, the courier brings a new envelope with the emblems of the tax service. Already the regional tax inspectorate reports “...the camera inspection revealed the most gross violation... a fine... to appear... in case of non-payment...”. Even more alarmed, I call the regional inspector, hoping to find out the details for the listing of the fine. It was not here – “... wait, you will get an agenda from the judge of the world...”
During the summer, six practically similar letters with increasingly strict formulations were sent by courier mail. At all my calls to the tax office, I was threateningly politely answered that I should wait for the agenda from the peacemaker. After the fourth letter, I told the accountant to find out where other firms were transferring the money in similar situations. I found a similar violation in a familiar accountant and I transferred 50 rubles to the account to which she transferred the fine amounts in her case. Unfortunately, a few days later, a notification from the bank came that the transfer did not take place due to inappropriate account details for penalties. I spit and just tossed out all the papers. Since September, the flow of papers from the tax expired, although we did not wait for the peace judge's agenda. I have already started to forget about this penalty, as suddenly on days courier mail brought the seventh envelope with the stamp of the tax service – on the stamp it was that for the failure to pay the imposed penalty penalties on the amount of the penalty is charged penny in the amount... Now I am trying to get the details for the listing of the penalty plus penny...
(For reference - the cost of one envelope is at least 13 rubles.The cost of delivery of one letter by courier - at least 25 rubles. And again - with the four-storey building of the tax inspectorate in our district city for luxury can only contest the building of the office of medical insurance).

[ + 52 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №62628
 10.04.2012
As cool as it is, but the best closet for clothing is a chair.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №62627
 10.04.2012
XXX: I watched it.
YYY: Well what?
XXX is shameful. Imagine that he was applauded!! to
YYY: Did you see people knocking in the palms?
YYY : M?
XXX is no. Well I hear.
XXX: What are you trying to do?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
YYY: Yes

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №62626
 10.04.2012
YYYY: Hello to you!
xxxxx: hello to you
YYYY: Do you accidentally have an image of the Painter 11 disc?
XXX: I can download from the FTP, should I?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? sps
XXX: If anything else is not needed, contact me. and :)

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №62625
 10.04.2012
A lecture in the Chinese universe: the preacher does not regret the glands, speaks about something, speaks and speaks for half an hour. The crowd with stone faces looked at him. No movement in the room. After approximately 30 minutes, everyone takes the pencil and draw a hieroglyph from the contents. One of them 😉

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №62624
 10.04.2012
Orthographical errors in writing are like a clown on a white shirt. fg. Ranewski

[ + 45 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №62623
 10.04.2012
I sell 2 cups (35 grams. and 53 gr.) by cost.

Spent on:
Gasoline – $ 15
- 3 broken balancer - $ 18;
- broken wheel, shining - $ 8;
washing the car after fishing – $ 8;
A fine for excess speed is $12.
- Wife for women's needs (non-gundel shops) - $ 60 gr.

Total: $121 (well, for $110 I will give, even if I lose...)

[ + 54 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №62622
 10.04.2012
XXX: I also get angry with the numbering of children’s ages. They say – "we have 1.5". Why a half? A year? The months? A week?
The liter is over! One and a half liters. and ;-)

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №62621
 10.04.2012
Talk to my younger sister:

Sister: Listen, who are these hipsters?
I am no-o. They wear old-school sweaters, for example, their hair is slightly careless, and in the image there are often glasses.
What are geologists?

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №62620
 10.04.2012
by SanPin 1.1.998-00
Hygienic requirements for adult journals

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №62619
 10.04.2012
Motorcycles in the garage are either repaired or twisted.

I: What are they pulling?

So... they make them better.

[ + 41 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №62618
 10.04.2012
Is an e-book a type of sheet on which the book is loaded or am I confusing?

Have you ever heard of iron birds in the sky?

by x-x.ru

[ + 24 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №62617
 10.04.2012
Q: Why did you break up?
He said I don’t deserve him.
X: Do not be upset. Where are you going?
A: In the factory
X: Now I seem to have understood everything.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №62616
 10.04.2012
What are you doing?
I will bring you!
You should have brought me to orgasm.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №62615
 10.04.2012
From the ASK:

xxx: do you know the joke about "no - I too"?
YYY: No
XXX: I too

[ + 37 - ] [12 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №62614
 10.04.2012
They are illiterate!
There is no such word – try! have to try!
I hate you.

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