I make a trip in the tour firm. At the next table, the woman-operator talks on the phone, patiently repeating something like, "yes, yes, we understand that this changes the situation...". After the conversation, she breathes — deeply so — and reports out loud that it was what "changed the situation" in her client and forced him to give up the trip: — He just remembered that he had a wedding on Saturday.

Enjoyed another journalistic pearl - "increasing the waste culture of the population". In fact, they got straight to the point, although it was about the dumping of garbage.

Diamond: Judging by the state of the road, it was not the winter, but the war

Remove the clutter with gardeners, until the May holidays are still far away (and before the autumn sunset with all these tanks and long). On the nose of March 8th, therefore, on the schedule of the feminist haircut relies - stick to the program!

Whenever I read the branches of the forums from the end, I remember the strugacki brothers with their "Monday" - because I feel a discreet countermot.

You knew that Google translates your name as "sperm". Semen - Sperm

The blue, in the dark.

I was in a scout camp at 12, when English girls came there. They taught us some lessons of craftsmanship, and that they could address us somehow, they told us that we would write our names on the badges. I wrote Semen. And then, after so many years, I found out why they smiled when they turned to me.

About computer games. Decided to play the 2006 rpgška release, - installed, launched, and she could not identify the video card and reports -"The driver of your card is outdated for at least a year update" - this is the solution to all the problems: you can not solve yourself - blame another non-performing.

We had in the army, before checking the tubes, the deputy police of the division inflated almost empty tubes with toothpaste. Well, the type of soldiers live well, they have everything (and served in the woods, to the nearest store 25km). Well, I always had plastic, those who had aluminum had to be more difficult.

The rightholders, angered by the failure to receive the money due for 2015 from Nikita Mikhalkov, decided to convene a general meeting.

In which it was discovered:
1) to one of the rightholders Nikita 1% said that "almost all the money collected by calls from the "high" cabinets he sent to the construction of the Bridge";
2) other – "for military pilots in Syria"
3) the third – “go to the network "Eat like at home!".”
And then I questioned: "Are you against these expenses? Yes, I will write you!"
Nikita 1% has recently been flying on a new plane.

Contact with aliens.

I am being kidnapped every night.
The memory is wiped out, so I don't remember anything, but here they return inaccurately: I fall asleep on my left side, and they put me on my right.
During my absence, my wife takes away my portion of the blanket, and these cracked aliens leave - I start to freeze and wake up early.

The third disaster of Russia is that of young, effective managers without professional experience and conscience, but with the right connections.

A remarkable fact - There is a hook in the bandley in the front, but there is no hook in the back (for pulling). Thus e. Bentley’s engineers suggested that you might need help, but even the thought did not allow you to want to help someone.

Sex is a natural biological defense mechanism for us women, because without it, men would kill us.

Compliment from the technician: "Your photo IMGP5119 is very cute ^^ "

I was at the post office of Russia and bought a label for the envelope. As usual, the line is one phlegmatic mail worker. The young man, whose turn came, finds out if he can send a package. It turns out, no. Because the boxes are over, there are no packs, and in your box for some reason, according to the worker, it is not possible. Since the line is long, I ask people permission to ask if there are marks, or suddenly I stand in vain. To what the woman in turn answers: "Ask, ask, or last time there was no one."

Let’s go for a walk :)
YYY: I'm hz, it's cold... and I'm without a hat in my cap... unless you can catch my ears))
XXX O-O
The ears?
XXX: Right on the street?
XX: in the literal sense or in the translated?
Q: Can you wear a hat?
XXX: Katya... ? to? to
YYY: You are missing! You have your ears!! Receipt of a Vehicle (

XXX: Why do I teach - K.M. They consider it necessary to inform their students before the start of the lectures. The latter is deeply upset, their thoughts are busy with one: "How to quickly insert a flash in a break and jump a lecture so as not to write out of hand."

Do you have a USB port? How far has cybersecurity gone? 0 0 0

What can I talk to you about?! When you were a child, you loved cooked milk.

Grother: Everyone knows a lot of scary stories about how the shampoo or other shit in the bathroom was confused with her depilation cream. But few people know the stories of how she smashed acne from a cute little tube with an incomprehensible name Pasta silikonova termoprzewodzaca.

xxx> Have you gotten out with the compound?
yyy> yes
W> two condors of inflated )
xxx> In my 31s, I still don’t understand what to do with iron to get the condors swollen.
YYY> are you still heaven and virgin?
xxx> So what are you doing with them?? to