...
P.S I apologize for the many quirks, but the rules of Russian language require that.

Kefiro: You know, I would in principle get married. Only on a normal grandmother, so that I came from work tired, sat at the computer in the office, because in the office not all had time, and she would not cry that I give her little time, and would make me coffee, kissed and went to bed.
Kefiro: I would get up early in the morning and make breakfast for us. It is delicious.
Kefiro: And when I was drunk, I would have eaten in the woods, Natalie Portman would have started to stick to me dirty, and I would have said to her, "Go out, prostitute, I'm married!"
Kefiro: Ideally, she would stick to my ear and say, “Listen, idiot, I’m your wife, go home, it’s too late.”

The snow turns, flies, flies - it is a whisper that April is coming.

If for the development of science it is necessary to send living beings into space, there are as many Negroes in our city to do so.

Edwin Aldrin explained in an interview to journalists why Alan Shepard became the first American in space: "In general, they wanted to send a monkey, but NASA received a bunch of letters in defense of animal rights, and in defense of Shepard did not come a single letter. Here he flew.”

Rescue, a question about your work

Masha: Shorter than a tube with a diameter of 114 mm, its width is 60 mm, how many meters can we wrap into it having 234 square meters of material, taking into account the impact of 10 percent.
Tony: Is that for the harry at all?
Toni: Baba Nura slowly wrapped the screws into a mature button.
Tony: How many nails will she need to keep the bottle fresh?

I have a friend uncle, he is about 45 years old, his mother told him that one day, when he was small (5 years old), she invited all of her friends to visit (well, just sit down to talk, the kids to measure, as usual, shorter).

Well, the moment came when one of the moms came to mind the brilliant idea of putting children on a chair (for solemnity) and asking them the favorite question of Soviet mothers - who you want to become.

All the children of course answered something like “cosmonauts”, “pilots” (the 70s, Hule – the space race, Gagarin and all that). And here they put our hero on the chair, and ask the sacred question - who do you want to become?

What he says is fascist!

Under the flattered eyes of the friends, the no less flattered mother asks her child - why is he a fascist?

What he responds calmly - I like their form!

Hugo Boss is the master of his business.

XXX is fucking!! My boyfriend is webooook!! I broke my nose and hand in the bathroom!! to
YYY: God, what happened to that, Mashk?! to
xxx: you know the joke, about how in the bath type of a rubber snake is plunged, when someone washes and there is a pipe scary everything?? to
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? to
xxx: so I sit in the bathroom mean in the headphones, nothing like this, I see the shadow sweet picking up, I look and really the snake squeezes me like this... I think, go you in the pen I will not whisper that I am like a small? So who knew she was alive???! to

Zeka_vasch: I am a little surprised here.
I sent here by name, or more precisely at the end of January, a companion to the default city by ordinary, Orthodox mail of Russia. And just recently, more precisely a week ago, Camard received a package.
Well, I threw roughly 2 months, 60 days, 1440 hours 9800 km here and it came out that the speed of the shipment was about 7 km per hour.
and Ahueno!
The speed of a fast pedestrian. The postman took her straight from here.

My wife and I are on a wedding trip. We take a note from parents that you should not forget to take with you (such as take a passport, tickets, towels, clean socks, underwear, etc.). D is It comes to the point "condoms" - carefully crossed with a pen and a "pressure device" is written on the side;

HHH
How are you there?
WOWU
God is
WOWU
How to live
WOWU
Lemonade is the hell of lemons.

XXX (09:58:26 4/04/2011)
In the morning, my husband attacked me - I had to give in to this coveted orangutan, now I don't want to work at all and it hurts - he's quite angry, a dog... In the car I told him everything about this, so he found a scam: grit, he specifically did so that it's better to hurt than to provoke bad thoughts. I said that they don’t judge others on their own, he said that men are not concerned – they always want to. I do not understand how you and your eternal houses still managed to move civilization, to invent wheels, to write poems, to design pyramids... The husband stumbled and said that it was because the wheels were invented, that it was terribly uncomfortable to roll on squares - slowly)))))) Well, you are not ugly, right?

She: Can we think of something funny, what a surprise?and :)
Hm, is he an example? You’ll reveal your breasts, and I’m a jayza?
What’s so surprising about your eggs?? to

The Spring.
Hate for dogs, smokers and motorists is tripling.

Responsibility for the heat last summer in Russia took the shamans of South Africa. True, they repented - said, had a bit of anticipation, so the case came to fires. This year, the shamans are going to repeat the experiment, but specify that they will direct their vuvuzeles to the other side. In their opinion, in this case, the effect will be different - instead of tropical heat will come Arctic.

Fuck, give me the grass that our media smokes.

He went to a friend, sat in VKontakte, playing a zombie farm.
I am on the unit:
What is this for?
He is a wooden...
That’s a cook, right?
Ahah...
Who else is there?
- There are other stones, but I lack brains for them (((
The voice of a neighbor’s room
It is blue!!! I know! I know!
The thought in the head "This is their family...."

Conversation in the clinic. I came with the horke (not a frequent occurrence in our city) and the doctor (B) with the nurse (M) are interested in how this animal is contained at home:
Do you live in a cage?
I: No, he has my own, sleeps where he wants, climbs where he can and so on.
Q. Is it in the pot?
I – Yes, of course
A: Fige to myself, and I thought they were completely brainless all my life!
M: Okay, do you remember the rabbit?
A rabbit is not an animal at all, it is food!

on the website on employment vacancies "nocturnal".
Responsibilities: sleep, eat, watch TV, guess crosswords, read

from the correspondence of admin. A colleague from the COA asks to order lemons at the COA, he was asked to count - how much they need. This is an analytical job! We all respect him:

" well... Now I count.

There are approximately 45 people.
According to the results of statistical analysis, lemons are used:
Coffee – 1%
with tea – 17%
with cognac – 2%
Just nothing – 5%

A total of 44% of COD employees or 11.25 people regularly consume lemon.
On average, the daily consumption rate is 2 circles.
That is, the consumption of lemons in the COD is 22.5 circles per day.

Standard size lemon can be cut into 12 circles.
Thus, the consumption of whole lemons is 1.875 lemons per day.

From the calculation that the storage time of fresh lemons in the refrigerator at a temperature of 4 degrees Celsius 2 weeks or 10 working days, it turns out that the actual need for COA is rounded up to 19 lemons.

Do you know why it is at midnight that the frog becomes dirty and not beautiful, the carriage turns into a pumpkin, the lackey into a rat, and all that?

No, why not?

Photoshop license expires.

She put in her luggage:
a tail, two swords and a cruise.
knives, knives and seals
The head of Elf Glartier.