bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №136201
 23.11.2016
If you have already learned a lot of words, but can not understand the language of foreigners, then you need to listen to the radio, namely:
Advertising
Political Programs
Preached
They are made in simple words and are perfectly understood - for fools.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №136200
 23.11.2016
Women’s bags for health. I took so much with me today that the hat could not fit in the bag. I had to wear.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №136199
 23.11.2016
It is time to include the "effective manager" diagnosis in the list of diseases that prevent the occupation of significant public positions.

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №136198
 23.11.2016
A conversation that happened to be heard in a row many years ago taught me how to philosophically deal with the misunderstanding of my intentions.
At the end of the 80s, the district centers were supplied in shops, with a ball of clothes, with 3 litre pots with berry juice and sea cabbage.
The locals, however, do well with all the houses with gardens and pigs, even I am sometimes drawn to chew in gratitude.
And the same - in the same 3liter banks - sometimes fell.
I shared it with my sisters and nurses, and they shared it with me.
So they lived.
Yes, there was a cooperation, food in the same shops - but at market prices. I was in my pocket - a single with 2.5 rates of a rural doctor (there was a surcharge for work in the countryside, paid well at the time).
Here is history.
I stand in a small line behind a cooperative sausage, sleepy after duty.
I have two daughters, judging by the voices.
Conversation - and here Pettenko right on the Speedway and in the reminiscence.
What is a reminder?
Everybody gets killed there!
I was alert, turned my locators a little - I was the head of the intensive care room.
Aunt - pulled into the reminiscence, thrown on the bed, the wardrobe behind his neck - tapped and squeezed
In translation, I felt a pulse on the artery of the neck.
Well, Petteris big, you can't get stuck behind the neck, she began to squeeze him in a different way, pressing his hands into the bed - here Petenka is as snapping!
And she, the snake, pushes even harder into the bed! And so as not to shrink, she grabbed his fist on his chest, twice.
So, apparently, they describe cardiac arrest and heart massage.
And then a young Jewish man in glasses ran to help, a new dochtur, a more.
They say - clear, but who knows them... still say - does not drink.
Tech-s, it’s just about me, I’m stressed – that the old hiccups are still choking?!? to
and what?
No, in general, the beast grabbed a long and thick needle and knocked twice into Petya, no man!
Petya snorted again, moved - so that in his mouth, the cell phone, so that they would be tired of listening to the snorting!
Peter is dead?
He survived, gathered his forces and pulled the tube out, the doctors were arrested - he was immediately transferred to the department, to freedom.
He says – I am not so easily buried.Buggy, in one word – repelled...
I had a choice – to turn around and answer – hero you are carrying the shit, the mold is brainless?!?! to
Or, without giving yourself - quietly get a sausage and get out of the store.
What I did – well understood by the doctors at that time during the times of cholera riots – the people are not always understood by the actions of doctors.
You just have to do your duty – “do what you should and be what will be!”
For reference, the patient went home to his two after a heart attack with clinical death.
I didn’t need a bigger reward.
All health and understanding!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №136197
 23.11.2016
Putin recalled how he, a monthly child, was baptized by the father of Patriarch Kirill.
Patriarch Kirill recalled that Putin’s father had recommended him to join the CPSU.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №136196
 23.11.2016
One evening on March 8th, I saw a sleeping and drunk man in a semi-empty subway car. He somehow miraculouslyined a vertical position on the seat, and in his hands had bare stems of a bouquet of flying flowers. There was something touching in this scene.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №136195
 23.11.2016
Once again they began to throw about Ukraine, they will soon adopt another harmful and anti-people law. It is like drinking.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №136194
 23.11.2016
Have you washed your clothes from the frost?

and yes. I cut my socks and broke my jeans.

[ + 15 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №136193
 23.11.2016
Quote from the chat: "Honey what you do at work if you are paid $2,000 an hour! All the rest of the time, you’re doing shit!"

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №136192
 23.11.2016
My wife is never a blonde. Her headphones broke, she went to the electronics store. He looks at one model, the other, the third then turns to me and says, "The big things are very big, only the size of L, and the M-ok is not." I quietly look at her and turn my headphones on the other side... R is written on the shell.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №136191
 23.11.2016
Nick> If only you could train a protein that when it brings a dusty cloth, it gets a new wet cloth and nuts in return :(

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №136190
 23.11.2016
<ululiya> I’ve seen something and can’t develop it now. This huge lunar crater, already painfully it looks like the anus.
<kitty_bark> Well, at least we now know exactly which side of the moon is facing the Earth.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №136189
 23.11.2016
Buying 4K TVs and monitors
Divorce for Idiots
Yyy: agree - family is sacred

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №136188
 23.11.2016
And, God save you, don’t read comments on YouTube until lunch!
Hm, there are no others there.
Do not read any of them. You know, I did thirty observations at my clinic. And what do you think? Patients who watched the video but did not read the comments felt excellent. The same ones I specifically forced to read the comments were losing weight!
The GM?
Little of that! Exacerbation of the syndrome "one is wrong" on the Internet, the desire to respond to primitive jokes about "mama", the tendency to insult an opponent, mat incontinence.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №136187
 23.11.2016
Recently, my dad told me that when I was two or three years old and they still lived together with my mom, he had a lot of work for the New Year and he hardly paid attention to me, although he wanted to. He came home, turned off the lights, turned on the tree, slept with me next to me under a large table (I was playing there, a house type) and often quickly fell asleep. But I didn't hinder him, and with great difficulty pulled a large plank from the couch and a pillow and put my dad to sleep.)

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №136186
 23.11.2016
I go into the office kitchen, at the open refrigerator in a bending posture, colleague. I can’t see her, she’s too busy. It folds, the cheeks are full of yesterday’s cake with someone’s snails, the eyes are full of fear. Blaia, you are the first to say that coffee with sugar is poison, mac dac is poison, carbohydrates are only up to 12 and no gram of food after 6, except for fiber!



I open up, I don't pay attention to the type - well, a man broke up. And I notice with a lateral sight that the hand with which the cake is grabbed, it wipes out the wall! ! to ! to How is it mine? ! to How is it?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №136185
 23.11.2016
xxx: I read the news - "A poisonous snake plunged into an apartment in the center of Moscow"
yyy: bggg, "Daddy, and grandmother for a long time in visit?"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №136184
 23.11.2016
What is Gdansk?
yyy: the town is like this, they say that now Warsaw and Krakow are already closed for relocating, and everyone is going to Gdansk
XXX is overpopulation.
Lack of offices)
xxx: ahahaha))) will soon be doing the offices eco-open playoffs.
xxx on the street 😉
The towns will be built
yyy: the city of Progersk, with the districts of Sharp, Java, Pitons, Pascal Washing and the business center of SiPlusPlus
xxx: stands Warsaw, and next to it built Jarshava)))
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY))
yyy: and there will be another area of margins, hippies, and all kinds of gestures - JavaScript
XXX is forever? 😉
YYYYYYYYYYYY
YYY: and in this area the houses are demolished and rebuilt every two days
YYY: periodically building starts from the roof
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
YYY: and still comes out a beach lounge with a door

[ + 28 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №136183
 22.11.2016
xxx: On the "World of Fantasy" in comments the acquisition of rights to Duna discuss
XXX is still on. When I stood on Massyche, they began to make Andromeda.
xxx: Done on Dune - suddenly remembered her and bought the rights
xxx: Well about "Star Wars" can also be counted. I got stuck in 2012 like, and when did Disney buy them and start filming?)
YYY: in 2012
XXX: Then it’s actually lol.
Zzzz: You have to use your talent somehow. Please don’t read Lenin.
zzz: especially in the 17th year

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №136182
 22.11.2016
by Incognito_D
Well, here they repaired the book... and ordered the yandaxbruser...
You fucking won’t believe it.
This shit doesn’t go off the site.
I had to jump the point-switcher and not take off the crack in it...
Yandex is jumping.
fucking fucking

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna