bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №109850
 24.02.2015
This is:
-
Let her hold your hand and fuck you. I am the owner of the "happy" 20 cm and 6 in range. Condoms are set, it is, but! First, large tires slip from me in the process. Secondly, the standard tight, shit. It pushes, and somehow does not get sex. Well, plus, on average, larger members have a worse sensitivity, so ‘smelling roses through the glass’ is about me. In general, for me, the presence of a condom means the absence of sex.
Maybe I am doing something wrong?
______
Buy Gandons not in a bar for 10 p. but in the pharmacy and from 200 p.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №109849
 24.02.2015
A forum about anecdotes.

XXX is:
Office at 9 p.m.
Two paired accountants prepare an annual report.
One pulls off the monitor and asks the other:
How many months in the year?
and A? What?
Months in the year?
10 without VAT.

YYY :
All 6 days ago ZZZ already told and all the accountants even had time to exchange opinions.

NNN is 5. Without VAT.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №109848
 24.02.2015
My cat eats my liver.
YYY: is it yours?
xxx: not
My liver eats my vodka.)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №109847
 24.02.2015
A reduced working day should not be done before the holiday, but after it. Reduced from the morning.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №109846
 24.02.2015
Trapped in the dining room at work, felt very bad, could not go home on public transportation, called a taxi.

The taxi driver, like most of his colleagues, turned out to be a big fan of the topic of "How to arrange Russia".I am not able to participate in the conversation, but he does not have an interlocutor, and the audience will come together. Exactly at the moment when he moves to the question of “That’s all that shrimp” I squeezed and whisper “Stop!” and “Good, we’re on the extreme lane,” I jump out on the sidelines and blow under the bush. As I sit back in the car, the uncle with sincere repentance on his face declares, “Girl, you would say so immediately that you dislike this topic!”

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №109845
 24.02.2015
The shame:

Nat: Did you hear that in Kaliningrad on Maslenica Obama’s chicken was burned?
Winnisepu: Well, let’s check the effectiveness of the harsh Slavic Vudu.

This behavior is no better than the behavior of Arab Babouins, when they burn the American flag and then dance on it, shooting in the air from calashes. America from such a gesture is neither hot nor cold, but the opinion of you is formed as primitive savages from the Tumba-Yumba tribe.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №109844
 24.02.2015
from corporate correspondence.
Operator 7756: Application for removal of an employee. It is necessary to remove the employee with this code from the list of operators, employee number 7759.
Technical Support: All has been removed.
Technical Support Officer: Number 7756, all right?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №109843
 24.02.2015
xxx: Refactor project, shit code specific. Arriving at the most hellish and ridiculous place, I decided to look at the history of commits.
XXX: The last comment in the committee was fun
xxx: "I just executed the order"

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №109842
 24.02.2015
You buy vodka and you are not asked for a passport. It becomes so sad...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №109841
 24.02.2015
E. - 27.06 16:19 I send a completed diploma with the necessary corrections.
E is. - 02.07 15:57 Last week sent you a completed diploma. Have you met him, are there any complaints?
C. - 02.07 19:45 Give another day.
E is. - 07.07 9:53 Have you forgotten about me?
C. - 07.07 15:03 Sorry for the delay - in departure. I read. is normal.
-------------------------
E is. - 08.09 0:46 In the inserts the distribution material and the "alpha" version of the text of the speech. So far a lot has been done, I wanted to advise you what can be removed from this.
C. - 18.09 17:21 Sorry for not responding for a long time. All this is not suitable.
Everything is stated in the file.
E is. - 18.09 17:23 C, I defended a good week ago ))
C. - 18.09 17:24 Class!!!! to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №109840
 24.02.2015
The one who greets the first, I will offer a hand and a heart.
When is the wedding?
XXX: You are not going! No one greeted me :(

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №109839
 24.02.2015
So why do you need a metal brush? There were a lot of mysterious places in UAZ where I was 100% sure it was a factory casting, and the details were unclear. Well, or someone carefully cooked them so as not to collapse. So, thanks to this brush, I discovered that it was just centuries-old fossilized dirt, which cannot be distinguished from the native design. Assembly / disassembly of mechanisms and understanding the work of the design became much easier with this brush.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №109838
 24.02.2015
>>And I was just taken away by strangers, those people with whom I had to go I did not know, those who took me were also in sports clothes, my question about direction was answered affirmatively))))

We had the like: people gathered in a one-day march, a crowd of people ten, the next day on the tourist forum report, photos, comments: wow! is cool! The good guys! Who knows what this man’s name is?
And silence...until he himself appeared on the forum.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №109837
 24.02.2015
I took the electricity for a year.
zzz: things need to be quality to last for a long time
Yyy: Things cannot be worn for a long time, bad energy accumulates in them
Have you tried washing them?
yyy: >_<

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №109836
 24.02.2015
I put my eyes on him... so cute.
xxx: my sick fantasy is inadequately perceiving phrases such as "eye put"))
WOW: This is normal fantasy, and my phrases are sick.
Oh yeah yes. This is the first time I see the oscillograph called sweet and sweet.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №109835
 24.02.2015
A nephew (P) comes from the garden and says:
Q: I learned two new words today, one is good and the other is bad, only I forgot which one.
I: "What do you think is good?"
Question: "Please "
I: "What is bad?"
Q:" Shall"

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №109834
 24.02.2015
Xxx: Here’s the paradox – I think: I need to talk less, or I’m talking too much and I’m upset. I turn around, and there people look at me, they say in a loud voice.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №109833
 24.02.2015
Why is it hysterical and psychotic? Quietly get a towel and without giving sight to wipe out your hand? Yes, this is a cold-blooded and elegant way to call Vovan Masha. He was awarded a prize for creativity.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №109832
 24.02.2015
First, you ask why we should pay in the cafe and open the doors if we have equal rights. This is a reasonable comment. But when women say they are ready to invest in the budget equally and they don’t need all this gallantry in the form of kissing pennies, you start calling them fools who don’t want to use such a hole. It’s not cheese, it’s cheese in the mouse. The law of conservation of energy – allow yourself to be favored in one place and you will be discriminated in another.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №109831
 24.02.2015
The Women's Forum

W1
The submissive. After looking at 50 shades, I wanted to become...Saba.
I realized I wanted to be a sage.
Where can I get the dominant?? to

W2
Find a man to beat you, to humiliate you in every way, even if he would drink and not work.
Or do you want to be in the cinema?

W3
There are thematic dating sites.
They will only beaten. No planes, no helicopters and no yachts.

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