bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 44 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45372
 02.04.2011
A blonde (BL), who graduated from the university with a red diploma and works in the same state structure (thank you Papi), shares impressions with the employee (C):
BL: You can imagine, I am in shock! It turns out that the straw horse was wooden! I’ve been thinking all my life: How did people get caught up in it? Has the stomach been cut or fed by people? I watched the movie, and it’s wood!! to
Q: Hey... do you mean a Trojan horse?
BL: What did you know?? to

[ + 118 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45371
 02.04.2011
I want to thank the young man who helped me today when I lost consciousness (Kyivskaya). thank you for the support, coat, taxi, help, attention and selflessness. I never knew your name, but thank you very much.

[ + 67 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45370
 02.04.2011
Faust (12:34:20 1/04/2011)
In the mind or on the calculator?? to

Kitty (12:34:28 1/04/2011)
At school, I did mathematics as well. [...]

Faust (12:34:53 1/04/2011)
Good luck with your math ? ? ?

Kitty (12:35:06 1/04/2011)
Fuck it!! Do not write to me anymore!!!! to

Faust (12:39:04 1/04/2011)
and ROFL

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №45369
 02.04.2011
Thank you, of course, but I’d rather fuck with Natasha all night than with your Ubuntu.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №45368
 02.04.2011
World of Tanks:
At the beginning of the battle, the team has several American tanks (5-6).
One writes to the team: Yankees, there is oil in the enemy base, we need it!!! to

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №45367
 02.04.2011
She: You are the best man in the world!
Today, the idiots are gone.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №45366
 02.04.2011
V: I buy gum every day. and constantly with a delayed shelf life... orbit ceased to import to Russia
Q: Do you buy something in one place? and :)
V: Fuck it right.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №45365
 02.04.2011
Q: How about drinking?
I haven't been in my mouth for 3 months :)
Q: How about drinking?

[ + 66 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45364
 02.04.2011
Monitoring of society:
Q: What is inflation?
K: "the whisper of money* a lot of goods is little.
I don’t hear you, repeat it.
Q: There is not much money!
N: What is something?
Q: There is not much money!! to
N: I have understood.
When everybody gave up the work, she approached the bone and asked, “What is inflation?” I wrote there by similarity of sounds, not sure"
A lot of money is a lot of money!!!! to
Nasta begins to be furiously red and beats herself with her hand on the head.
N: Couldn’t you say more clearly? I wrote "many money gave little"


[ + 62 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45363
 02.04.2011
Buttons are appreciated. thank you.

and tacit.

But in the case - a friend today handed over the driving in GAI. I was in a column in three cars. Which inspector is the chief. IMHO, to be compact and fast to take. The instructor is transferred to another car - it becomes the head. Others adjust behind it (behind the steering wheel, of course, the instructor). So on the second car they went to the track, where you can calmly go 60.

The instructor tells a friend - speed up to 60 and at the crossroads - straight. Everything is fine, the friend broke up and here... From the words of my comrade: "Chih-krrrrrrrrrrr-dish-Buh".

The instructor sneezed and pressed the pedal. on the brake. Up to six. He was frightened by what he had done. Seconds of delay was enough for the next car to enter the back of the main car... and the next one - the next one... As a result - no one was injured - by a miracle. But the funniest is the accident due to the fault of the inspector of the GIBDD, taking the exam, and the unacceptably long reaction time of the instructors, who were behind the driving of guided cars.

April 1st just started.

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №45362
 02.04.2011
ArhiDavid: After the first driving lesson I realized that I needed a car with an automaton

ArhiDavid: after the second with cruise control

ArhiDavid: after third with the driver

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №45361
 02.04.2011
The first April. This is the most real joke in my life, no one has ever managed to swim.
1 the class. The lesson begins. Our teacher announces that we need to build a medical centre for injections. I remember building up as couples in an empty school corridor, remembering how scary it was and how I wanted to escape. She holds a break and says this promise "FIRST APRIL!"
The highest pilot - to play 30, even seven-year-old children alone and without a requisite.

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №45360
 02.04.2011
X make me think, right? T_T
“Think with a magic stick!”
x = becomes a dough
Then I pulled the stick again, think!
X is a car
and O_O
Y * convulsively struck with a stick * Think-Think!
with big eyes waiting for results
x * rats * commodity * column*
The magic here is powerless.

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №45359
 02.04.2011
I saw an epic picture in the store today. In front of me there are three in the line: a strong guy in a leather, a bearded-looking man with a pearl, and a boy of seventeen years. The boy in a leash stretches a five thousand and asks for a cola. Then the male grabs out the mint dirty little stuff and asks for vodka. The boy points to the beer shelves and says:
- Give two beers... khm - looks back at previous buyers and thoughtfully so - Kola give..)

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №45358
 02.04.2011
Before getting a job in the specialty - in law enforcement agencies, I worked as a sales manager in the "Eurosite".I doctyloscope (take fingerprints) and photograph conditionally convicted and hardly hold back, to say goodbye not to give a smiling "Goodbye! All good to you! Come to us again! We will be very pleased!!and "

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №45357
 02.04.2011
The seven deadly sins, unlike humans, are immortal.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №45356
 02.04.2011
Crazy fees
This incredible story was told by Gennady.
Logofet, who "served" as a translator consultant for the Tbilisi Dynamics in the 1981 year.
On the eve of the final match of the Cup with the team "Karl Caess" from the DDR
Logofet went into the room to the defender Tengiz Sulakvelidze and caught him for mathematical calculations:
Fifteen footballers, two massagers, a coach, a doctor, a logofet.
Tango, what do you think?
Wait for Genoa, you will take it. We were told that if we won, we would win two hundred.
Dollars are given! It turns out: fifteen games, two massages.
Tangiz, you did not understand! Two hundred for each.
Sulakvelidze understood the information for a moment and said:
Two hundred for each. Let’s break the “Carl” pieces!

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №45355
 02.04.2011
Basics of Orthodox Culture. The Teacher:
And remember, my children! Those who will study on "4" and "5" will go to heaven. A is
Those who study on “2” and “3”, go to hell!
Wool from the back:
Marianne, can’t you finish school alive?

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №45354
 02.04.2011
A couple of mountains.

Prepod: In order to check the density of the strain, you need to put your hand to the wall of the mine and hit it with a break.

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №45353
 02.04.2011
xxx (15:36:02 05/03/2011):
In short, I will remove you. You are constantly silent. I cannot communicate with you! Don’t look for my win. You know why...? Because I am joking! Smile to! Send it to your friends and scare them. From April 1st!

yyy (15:36:54 05/03/2011):
Fuck, who are you? O_O

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