bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 63 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №62433
 06.04.2012
When she looked at me and said that she was carrying a baby from me, I was so pleased, - says Andrey, - By the way, they say that a condom protects against pregnancy - it is not true! I used it, and Loba got pregnant anyway. And again, Luba told me that her grandmother was black - and here, a generation later, it came out: my son is also black.

When asked whether he was embarrassed that his wife was a prostitute, he replied: “No! When I first approached her, I was her first and last customer. Ask her, she will confirm. And when I approached for the second time, she was no longer working, just three months in the same place - she was waiting for me. He loves simply. andquot;


[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №62432
 06.04.2012
XXX: What do I need?
YYY: What do you have?
I can only give fuck.
YYY: You have the least, and you still give.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №62431
 06.04.2012
arranged for work. Separate cabinet, all business, but... Behind the wall is constantly wild or, goot, periodically strikes the wall. I thought - the dressing room of the employees of production or cargoes. A week later, I discovered a server from Sisadmin.

[ + 63 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №62430
 06.04.2012
A 4-year-old boy returned from the village, and sitting in a trolleybus, seeing a man running over in the wrong place, he issued - "Where, fool, on the beds!"It is! ))

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №62429
 06.04.2012
News title: "The car crashed directly on the trade pavilion of the Krasnodar substance market"
...
According to the company, there were two people in the cabin. A woman and a passenger were driving. Fortunately, they stayed alive and were scared. The driver claimed that the car was refused to brake.

Commentary :
XXX: Yes, because let us both drive...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №62428
 06.04.2012
XXX: The Shame

You will be ashamed.)

Shame on me! Shame me completely! and drink!

WOW: Drink me quickly, take me over a hundred seas, and shame me everywhere, 18 I am already!!!))

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №62427
 06.04.2012
XX: Yesterday was
xxx: I am sitting on the report, the next day I have to deliver
Mom comes from work, stands in the hallway, asks if there is anyone at home
I decided to pretend I was sleeping.
I go to bed with a blanket.
XXX: Close my eyes
XXX: Opening at 7 a.m. Seven in the morning.
In half an hour, I go to school. Posts tagged with "headline"
XXX is fucking
XXX: Lack of Sleep
XXX: The Revealed
xxx: I am a fool

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №62426
 06.04.2012
Congratulations on the holiday! 😉It is :)
Honey, you and you =)
Dennis is crazy.
Dennis: Hey, and fuck it =)
Dennis O_O
Dennis: Hi, in general, with the holiday =)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №62425
 06.04.2012
Den Stranger: Translating old movies into 3D suddenly gave me the effect of a time machine. You go through the streets and around hanging posters of Titanic, Star Wars, Lion King. Welcome to the 90s :)

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №62424
 06.04.2012
I remember in 10th grade our classmate decided to help us with entries and introduced dop. Russian lessons (by the way, thank her for that) and started from 5th grade. The theme was wording. Pronounces "post" all: "box" "loved "- "soldier" and then she says...
Sea and silence. Everyone is silent and smiling. Then she said. A clock, for example. It was treachery.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №62423
 06.04.2012
A man calls at night and says: (M)-a man
He is healthy and begins to flood.
I: You’re wrong with the number, I’m not Leha
M: It’s good to have a leather, how do you live?
You mistaken the number.
M: It’s good to talk, we know you, humorous.I’m calling something.Say how the song is called, I’ll drink you.La la la la la la la
I: I have no idea, I have not heard that.
M: Well, Leah, you have to know.
I:May be "Love May"?
M: No, not she. well what are you doing?
I: No, I am resting
Go to bed, old man.
I: Well yes
Listen, you are not like yourself.
I: I agree, man.All because I am not Leha and you were wrong with the number.
M: So is it wrong?
I: Yes the guy.
This is fucking good.
I:Hello Leah

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №62422
 06.04.2012
The Doctor:
I walk down the street of Lenin and see:
Catch a black prostitute.
This is my most flat.
The blackest joke.
Filed to:facepalm

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №62421
 06.04.2012
Discuss the 90cm depth.
<inok> so I always check the depths of the algae on the ground
<inok> but on the asphalt would not expect
<inok> although you can catch a luck
<inok> so I still try to go around :)
<Lurker> Lucky is yes, my friend got out of the car and disappeared
<Lurker> Copperfield Blade
<Lurker> has not even closed the door

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №62420
 06.04.2012
Medic: Someday an employee of the Sberbank comes to the mail...
I would add:.... for retirement! )))))))))))

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №62419
 06.04.2012
To stand on one’s own is praiseful, but on another is more profitable.

[ + 71 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №62418
 06.04.2012
I personally heard in the store (USA).
Client: What country are you from? You have such a lovely accent.
It’s just to find out who’s the accent. I am from Britain.

[ + 22 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №62417
 06.04.2012
A sudden blow of wind made the Scottish army even more frightening.

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №62416
 06.04.2012
Do you remember Grisham?
Have you lost your virginity?
Sergey: In a couple of weeks he will lose her in the armed forces I think
Maria is nothing. How is it?
Sergey: He has a crazy situation
he changed his surname from black to ponomarev, thereby expressing his protest against his father who left the family and according to documents in the institute and in the military committee it suddenly turned out that the chernov had a postponement and the ponomarev had nothing.
by Maria XD

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №62415
 06.04.2012
Closing the door in domestic cars for the first time is a sign of bad tone

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №62414
 06.04.2012
We take a picture of the apartment with my husband, he goes to work and I go home in photoshop. Today the hostess came to take the money, I gave it to her, and then she saw a computer with a Photoshop and asks - what is it, you work this way, can you see? I say, of course, you can, she slides over the laptop, and at this moment my husband in ask writes "Well, this old fool took the money for the apartment?". and ppc.

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