bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №73874
 05.12.2012
Why do you never eat onions?
How can I destroy what makes people cry?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №73873
 05.12.2012
On December 1, we had +1, the second +2, today +5... I look forward to the 31st: a beach, a cold beer in the hot New Year’s night...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №73872
 05.12.2012
How is DDoS decrypted?
From Davai Do Svidania
She: Well yes! I thought so.

[ + 41 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73871
 05.12.2012
I’ll never forget how a comrade, who couldn’t get out of the office, asked me to come to the station and meet his aunt. I found an old lady in the wagon, for some reason with a test and a bunch of bags, explained that Lenia is very busy, and I will take them to him now. His mother-in-law called him Leish, but I did not pay attention to him.
Yyy: Well, and Lecha, Lenia, what’s the difference?
Why did I have to ask my name right at the station? I still can’t forget the comrade’s eyes and his compressed question: “Who did you bring?” They were very different people they forgot to meet.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №73870
 05.12.2012
In the morning of the working day, the boss (N) talks with the partners on the subject of signing the necessary documents:
N: The documents must be signed, no, I am not worried about the transport collapse, no, come and sign! I need to submit all the documents to the accounting office until the end of the world!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №73869
 05.12.2012
From comments to news in Vladivostok about the laying of asphalt in the snow.
In Vladivostok, snow is not cleaned, it is asphalted!

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73868
 05.12.2012
A person is considered to be unconditionally late if he arrived before everyone else.

[ + 70 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73867
 05.12.2012
//that my ZP recently finally overtaken the ZP of the electric train driver//

have survived. Some fool, only able to transfer papers from place to place, thinks that he should get more of the mechanic responsible for the lives and health of thousands of passengers.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №73866
 05.12.2012
Transparency corruption rating: Russia climbed to 133th place and equaled with Honduras

Who would doubt...

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №73865
 05.12.2012
Sponsor of traffic jams on the route Moscow-St. Petersburg - OJSC "RZZD".

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №73864
 05.12.2012
She is:
I need a sponsor.

He is:
Which sponsor and why?

She is:
by Sponsor
who will be in the car to drive to the cafe... then to the hotel and money for it will pay

He is:
This is called prostitution.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №73863
 05.12.2012
Miss Clay is:
Fuck, I will never lose weight.

Mr Clive :
I need to buy weights.
And every time you drop the pounds, you’re on top 😉

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №73862
 05.12.2012
Hell (18:42:39 4/12/2012)
How do you feel about Far Cry 3?
iBird (18:42:47 4/12/2012)
Skyrim Unfinished
iBird (18:55:00 4/12/2012)
Every bit of fucking grass in a separate compartment in the bag!!! Each tree is in a separate section!!!! to
iBird (18:55:05 4/12/2012)
This is a sadistic game.

[ + 29 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73861
 05.12.2012
It’s hard to be tall with a small wife. all the mirrors in the house are hanged, displayed so that the state of your own hernia in them you monitor several times a day, and to understand that it is time to cut off - this is when at work somewhere you accidentally look in the mirror.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №73860
 05.12.2012
You are like a stick, for which you do not take anyway in your hand the end is.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №73859
 05.12.2012
The system of the 90s.
The father took his rights. I was driving on certificate. Inspection is not passed.
Stop the Mente:
Where is the test?
P-Not inspection
I choose the rights.
P is not selected. I have a temporary certificate.
Why were the rights taken away?
There was no test.
The Curtain

[ + 31 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73858
 05.12.2012
From the news:

"Buyers in shops of Tomsk saw on the shelves sets of goods of the first necessity with the sticker "For the end of the world".

As customers report, the set with which you can meet the end of the world includes: a bag with a piece of paper on which fields for name, surname and other data are printed; a set of medicines (valerian, activated charcoal, bandage, validol); a bag with oatmeal as the most necessary grain, a bank of sprot and a small bottle of vodka.

In addition to these products, the set includes a notebook, pencil, two candles, a box of light bulbs, rope and soap. The store sellers confirmed that all the products in the kits are real, but the rope and soap can be used by everyone at their discretion.

I just have no words...

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №73857
 05.12.2012
It is done! I enter my entrance, followed by a guest from Middle Asia who lives with a large family two floors below. Waiting for the elevator. The guy looks at me for a long time and gives out in broken Russian:
You fuck you fuck here? I see you for the first time...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №73856
 05.12.2012
Don’t pay attention to Nick – that’s how fate happened.

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73855
 05.12.2012
> Vasya, you have broken up? The second hour server says:

> "You have seen this page only because our server has thought
The nature of the gravitational collapse of supermassive objects
influence on the entropy of the universe. Yes, it’s a big deal."

> Customers are waiting for me!

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