bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №121233
 30.11.2015
I decided to teach my younger brother to order. He repeatedly asked for order in the room. Zero of emotions. In punishment included his game Fallout 4, scattered in his barracks beds and removed previous storage. I have never heard so much whisper in my life. As a result, the third day in the room is ideal.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №121232
 30.11.2015
One neighbor is listening to the Soviet retro all day round, the other is apparently trying to neutralize that shit with his rapper... and I work at night, and yes, when I ask “how” Google offers me “to make an electromagnetic bomb.”

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №121231
 30.11.2015
36_cards> Chief Assistant from vacation arrived
36_cards> The smartest (of course, Vital) issued "and souvenirs that did not bring?and "
36_cards> There is a 10-second pause and so quietly on the whole office "magnetics with Turkey you want?"

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121230
 30.11.2015
I was stuck in the body with the baldness of a straight-walking monkey! What to do?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №121229
 30.11.2015
I cannot complain about life. I can’t choose where to start.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №121228
 30.11.2015
Greetings from the owner of the cat.
Getting into something is my destiny. and :)
I walk through the forest of my labs and wait for a girl. At this point, a kind of crendel with a baseball beat comes in and begins to squeeze the line to my dog’s horns. I intercept a more convenient guide, they can be blocked and repelled, if I am interested, "what you need. The man?” He puts a photo under my nose and explains that his wife was bitten by a dog in the park! He is looking for this dog. They begin to explain that I don't have dogs - I have Labradors, they don't bite, tested many times. In short, my favorite (as always on time) fits in the photo and we learn three things: 1) We are fools! This is a human bite. Someone has a horn.
The guy stabbed for a while. Then he takes the nearest labrador, who looks at all this with complete indifference and bites himself by his leg! He compares tracks and strives toward the horizon with a scream of "no fucking!" and Heppin.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №121227
 30.11.2015
Now many church attend in free time from sins.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №121226
 30.11.2015
I got nostalgic, decided to go to school, to see what there and how.

I walked by the teachers, entered the literary office. I talked to a good leader. She says:

Sasha listen to me. Do you know modern superheroes?

In part yes. (Remembered Avengers, the DC universe, and so on)

We were writing a book about who I want to be when I grow up.

One of the students wrote that he wanted to be like Dexter Morgan, don’t you know?

[ + 16 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121225
 30.11.2015

XXX is shit!
YYY :?
XX: Our world is not so perfect
The beer ends faster than the match in Dota.
YYYY :)
XXX: Opening the next bank
The game is over and there’s still beer.
I have to start the next, I fucking, I can't go to the bath for 3 hours

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №121224
 30.11.2015
Wife: And I dreamed of a dream like a zombie apocalypse... not as global as walking, but still... you collect me both in the evenings, so that I can shoot the zombies when I take Lisa to the garden... and I go to work)
The O_O
Wife: And in the kindergarten in each group, there is a supply of food for a week, and three armed soldiers...
Wife: Protecting the Children
My husband is sweet :)
Wife: that is, a zombie apocalypse, and we fucking go to work.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №121223
 30.11.2015
As for the Azzac boilers - don't sit down - it's enough for everyone

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №121222
 30.11.2015
by Olga Gromyko (volha)

Requirements for a strong woman:
1st Call the first two cats on Skype
2nd Complain on all three cats for different reasons: diarrhea, very pain, self-love
Three To complain that I was looking for the third red-poin cat, but found none, I had to take Seychelles.
4 is To find out that the farmer is completely accidentally sitting right down the red point
5 is Oh show me! No, do not show it! Oh no, show me, I’m a strong woman, I just want to know what I missed!
6 is Take the fourth cat.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №121221
 30.11.2015
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Yyy: I know how to make the procedure easier and fun.
XXX in the meaning?
Yyy: And you run out of the cabinet with your trousers down and shout: "Doctor, Doctor! Please, but not in the ass!" that's the rest of the points in turn will be pleased

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №121220
 30.11.2015
xxx: On this argument "you are born - you will love", so I want to say in response - well go to the drug try, try once and you will love!"

Yyy: No need to talk about drugs, drugs at least give pleasure. To men in such cases, I sometimes say, "Well, try to squeeze a member, no, why right away "no"? Try it and you will like it!"
though though! No one has yet died or even got sick, if the owner of the member is not sick with anything. From the birth...
This comparison is incomplete.)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №121219
 30.11.2015
@turbojedi: Again, now there is a situation that I last saw in a thirsty computer club in the early 2000s.
@turbojedi: Some child is chatting, say, and how you fucked me with a hassle when I was supposed to blind you and sat in the corner.
@turbojedi: And because the cleric of Tetragrammaton knows statistically the most likely location of the opponents in the room, the children are foolish.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №121218
 30.11.2015
In the shopping center at the stop, he accidentally listened to the conversation of two routers. They sat on a bench and talked peacefully:

Do you know that humans are the waste of the universe?
Yes, I agree with you.

“People in Black” is in my city.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №121217
 30.11.2015
No need to talk about drugs, drugs at least give pleasure. To men in such cases, I sometimes say, "Well, try to squeeze a member, no, why right away "no"? Try it and you will like it!"

I once offered a man to try his sperm for taste :) I was offended
Did you say I was a fool?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №121216
 30.11.2015
I am sick (with stomach problems), I sit on a tough diet and because of this I lost weight sharply and heavily.

Every second tries to tell me the story of a familiar girl who lost weight and then rebuilt and died.

In general, I have one question: how did this unfortunate girl become known to most of my friends and relatives, and I never saw her?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №121215
 29.11.2015
XX: A lot of people, chaos, brown movement. Impossible to leave the store immediately.
calmly... breathe out, go slowly, imagine that all around you are naked, alone you are dressed... and smile, have fun
I imagined that all the women around were naked, as you suggested. I got up.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY All of it!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №121214
 29.11.2015
He wrote an ecological report on the subject:
"Ecological problems of the modern world" - and realized that we are fucking.

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