Anecdotes are not composed of a fun life.

Reading the publications on this site, I had the impression that the local community sees life in Europe through the "rosa" point.
Not thinking about the fact that the high standard of living has only disciplined laborious citizens of European countries.
It is the Discipline of Labor Citizenship - under these words I am ready to sign up and give a lot of examples.

And the first short story, which happened last year, I publish under the tag "Discipline", for the youngest visitors to the site.

The story is about a family of Jewish “refugees” from Ukraine who came to Germany in the early 2000s.

My father and mother are working. The daughter is studying in a prestigious gymnasium, preparing to enter the law faculty of the University. They live in Bavaria.
For those who do not know, in Germany, the system of holidays and school holidays is different in different countries.
In Bavaria, school holidays usually begin on the last Monday of July and end on the second Monday of September.
Only 6 weeks.
Father and Mother have a vacation in July and want the whole family to spend a vacation on the sea coast, and here the tour with a very good discount turned.
Yes, and the daughter to leave alone at home do not want to, if little thoughts in the teenage head walk, 17 years still.
And until the end of the academic year ALL 2 weeks and although all the tests are passed for excellent, the school NEED to attend.
But our people are not foolish.) And so a familiar doctor "takes" a certificate of illness, the whole family joyfully packs suitcases and rushes to the Munich Airport.
The rainbow prospects are slightly overshadowed by the interest of the Vigilant Police Officer when registering for the flight: "Is your daughter not obliged to attend a school, because the school year is not yet over?“”
To which the Father of the family politely smiled, and mentally sent the Employee many times.

The trouble began with the start of the new school year, when the daughter and parents were called to the director of the gymnasium.
It turns out that the Vigilant Employee made a complaint and sent it to court. All in the German spirit: "I (somebody) noticed a violation, not related to my direct responsibilities, committed by the student (such one (I did not let go of copying the data). Namely, this student was noticed when crossing the EU border in the direction of warm countries." and etc.

The director did not hide his irritation, because he received a warning from the Ministry of Education and a directive to approximately punish the culprit.
In general, in order not to tire the reader, I will list the penalties:
Violation of discipline and fraud.
1st Exclusion from the gymnasium for a period of 1 academic week with entry in Zeugnis (analogue of the Characteristics).
2nd Parents are fined €149 for every day of school.
Three A warning that in the event of any repeated violation of discipline, a permanent exclusion from the school will be applied.
Well, privately informed the parents that with such a characteristic the girl is unlikely to be accepted for a decent Yurfak.

On the further development of the story, the parents do not spread, only heard that they hired a lawyer, trying at least to "clean" the characteristic.

In a week I will publish a story under the tag "Work" if I'm not caught up again)

There are shortcomings in the law on the tax on parkland greenhouses - many crooks grow on the windows and thus avoid taxation. Send it to the Lord immediately!

It was the case in the late nineties/early zero, I was a junior school student.

Study is easy, the relationship with parents is trustworthy, which I often use. Call the city phone (when did I last use it?) with a friend living in the neighborhood - and let's say, tomorrow we go to school, and go to play football / in the console / in the park in the slot machines? We sometimes did so – according to the classic, “mama, I have stomach pain – okay, lie down at home”, and you will wait until everyone goes to work, and walk to the neighboring yard. The main thing was not to overlook and do not turn this trick too often.

They went to the neighboring courtyard because they burned their grandmothers in the entrance, they everything where it should be, and in the evening the parents will come and give you an injection of propison intravenously.

Well, everything was done as agreed, I go out to the courtyard about nine o’clock and see a wonderful picture. Now it would be called “a dress out of control”: my friend is taken by an ambulance. I’m confused about his accompanying mom – Aunt Light, and what about Pashka?

Well, he says, something his stomach got sick, decided to call an ambulance, not to risk. Why are you not in school? Yes, the stomach also hurts – I joyfully, and, in order to avoid unnecessary questions, rushed home. I don’t think we were lucky in Pascha – obviously we both simulated.

And Pashka identified appendicitis, and in a few days successfully operated.

A friend told her that when she was relatively small, 16-17, her parents divorced, her father, an imposing man of 45 years, took only a car, though quite bullshit, and regularly came on weekends, visiting the daughter. And in the day-to-day, he did very different things: dressed fashionably, sat in his fashion machine and cut out the streets. If he saw a cute girl, he talked, signaled and offered to ride. It always ended differently until it was over at all.

On that unfortunate evening, the girlfriend’s parents, as usual, patrolled the area. He saw some two sympathies, walked up, swallowed, opened the window and polently offered to ride. The girls walked forward and did not turn. Our hero increased the pressure and just began to insist that the girls ride with him. At the fifth minute, one of the girls turned around and said:

Daddy, you have gone away, right?

I have a friend who is 8 years old and I don’t know why. It’s open to everyone, it’s on the go. A small trailer - quite good for himself outwardly, not the dumbest guy in the village, earns not just a huge amount of money, but for his city is quite even decent, and even an apartment is there. And the puzzle is simple, and he has been told it many times, but the man persistently does not believe it. Man is looking for an ideal. For him, the girl should be, 90-60-90, look like Angelina Jolie, fuck like Sasha Grey, cook like a makarevich on the Smack program, earn as a gasprom manager and at the same time on the first requirement to run to him. That one girl to match is not something that would be unrealistic, but it is difficult - it does not matter to him. And those who advise - they don't even look at him, they have other ideals. But okay, maybe he would find himself such a girl - only at every first date, he allows himself to roll out all his demands into a mixture with insults of all kinds of female, allowing himself expressions not quite literary) All the babies are frogs, females are scratched, one he is a dartajan)) Naturally, beyond one date does not go - and begins the question why I am alone....)

My friends carefully picked up a birthday present for my teenage daughter. We found in the store a magnificent edition of the Brothers Strugatsky. But they decided that it would be small, and added a few notes. Money was placed between the pages. Tell me, this is a surprise! Not only are the stories exciting, that make you think, but also the dungeons. The daughter’s reaction shocked them:

– Rodokie, are you completely squeezed? ! to Why do I need a book? ! to

- So you polystyred her, - shyly offered the shattered parents.

Why should I list her? ! to

Here you look! With these words, the father began to shake the book, and money came from there.

“Oh, you who are backward,” the daughter breathed, softening, “there is a envelope for that! It just ruined my mood.

This is where the birthdays really shrink.

Probably many who have sold things on websites have encountered the fact that the buyer calls, promises to come, and then changes his mind. I found a solution: first I set for myself the minimum amount for which I would give a thing, say, 2000, and in the announcement I raise it and bet 2200. When the buyer calls, I specify his price, allegedly forgot how much was stated in the ad, and call 2000. No one has fixed it yet, and everybody thinks it’s luck, and I need to take it before I get rid of it. They come lightning, drop 2000 and, satisfied with their "deception", leave =)

I am easily offended. After that, it is difficult to escape.

It was still in school. In our class there were two outlaws - Jurka and Vitalik, who mocked the boys, whose parents earned little... They called poor people, did bad things, spoiled things. In general, they tried to humiliate those who could not defend themselves. Why didn’t they gather and shake? Their parents were some serious chiefs from the city administration and when someone gave up the beasts ran away to complain, the school administration stood on the side of these wretches and dared to defend himself from there... In our class, one girl, who was raised by my grandmother and me, was strong. Because of poor vision, he always sat on the first batch and during the lesson all the garbage and chewed paper flew in his back.
At the next independent on the leaflets, Vitalik received a double, after the lesson he complained loudly about this injustice to Yurek, but instead of sympathy he heard only a vicious laugh, upset by these two circumstances, replied to his friend a penny, for which he immediately received in response - the two idiots fought shorter.
After classes, I ran through the classroom and cleaned this sheet and found it, it was immediately invented a worthy application. The next day on the way to school, he found a healthy fresh frozen dog cacao, squeezed a little with a stick, broke it off the ice and wrapped it in yesterday's notebook. In the classroom before the lesson, while Jurk was sinking in the hallway, he drove a cocoa mummy into his open wallet and prudently departed, hoping that no one had seen me. By the middle of the class, she stood out... and smelled. In the classroom began excitement and the search for the source, which was quickly discovered - Yurk. He grumbled and stated that - you were all stuck here, the teacher tried to calm the class, the class did not want to calm down, stumbled on Yurk and demonstrately clamped his noses. After a while, he began to smell himself and look at his feet. The lesson, meanwhile, ended, he put into the portfolio and found what was not there before, pulled out and unfolded. From the sheet falls back into the portfolio softened smelly sausage, and in his hands left a scratched paper, written by the hand of his friend, and also with the name-names. Along with the riot in Vitalika flew and pieces of ammunition from the portfolio. Everyone immediately fled the classroom and stood in the corridor, watching what was happening through the open door, only the teacher and these two fools remained.
Such behavior was not forgiven to them - they were forced to wash the class, the parents were called to school. As they cried... these crazy cries were heard even in the classrooms behind closed doors. They accused each other, the opponent’s children, the school, the teacher and the director personally. As a result - they planted Jurka and Vitalik in different parts of the class, they did not communicate with each other, and alone to stick to the rest, apparently, were afraid, so there was silence, only the back continued to fly papers, although not so often, but still terribly unpleasant.
After a couple of days, we had physical training, things and backpacks left in the dressing room, and we went to the big gym. Jurka before this became ill and, having been released for two weeks, waited for the lesson crawling through the hallway and eating the pancakes in the buffet. At home, I was prepared - soaked in a small plastic bottle and took it with me. Leaving the closet he poured the contents into Vitalkin’s wallet. Who did you think of? For those who did not go to school, there was a reason to take revenge. Again there was a scandal with screams, Yurk's parents transferred to another school, and Vitalik's nickname was attached to Ssany Govnomet. It was calm in the class.

Russian schoolchildren won the International Mendeleev Olympiad in Chemistry, winning 7 gold medals at once. At a reception in the Kremlin, Prime Minister Medvedev presented the children with memorable souvenirs and congratulated the future citizens of the United States and the EU.

The guy brought a laptop for cleaning, then when he took it, lighted a lamp in the screw and looked at something carefully.

I asked what he was looking there and the guy explains that he was wearing a laptop for cleaning and he was just washed with a compressor without disassembling it, now he is gluing a little plasticine into the screw hat)

And, by the way, a good way to know if you have a note or not.

A well-beaten deputy better understands the needs of the people.

Preamble to Israel, Haifa All residents know that after the fires on Mount Carmel in November 16th, the cabbages that were previously divided from unbuilt areas to dig in the garbage, now have become not only everyday but sometimes a everyday phenomenon. (Scroll or write a Haifa Kaban or copy it in Hebrew)

Daughter Alsu won the world championship in figure skating, bypassing son Ian Rudkovskaya only 0.5 million. The ruble.

Summer 2010, I sit on the driver’s seat in my Mazada 626 Cronos, the door is open.

Large parking, 200 meters, along the park, in one row.

I can see someone fast approaching me.

A 45-year-old man runs and catches the door sharply, opens it to the end and looks at me. The look is aggressive and at the same time expresses confusion. And is silent.

I say :

What to do!

He is silent. Second 10 looks at me and the front panel.

Then this:

- Fuck, not my car, I thought you got into my car. I look like my car, and the magnet is different! I have exactly the same simple. I remember parked around this place.

Here he turns his head and finds his machine not far from mine, she was 10-15 meters nearby and leaves joyful. He ran on the left side, and she was on the right side of my car.



I think it was fine even though I didn’t get out of the car right away and didn’t hit.)))

It was one of my first jobs, where I went as a graduate student. I was taken to a small budgetary institution, which contained a small tabernacle as part of its extra-budgetary activities. I was responsible for him. The job was, as it is called, not a bay of the lying - money was received from the accounting office, the goods were purchased cheaper, prepared an advance report, a report on the bank of the seller received, and delivered revenue to the bank. Revenue was usually 50-100 tires. in the day. For a student from the age of thirty rubles, the sum is not a huge one, but a cosmic one. Sometimes, of course, I put myself up and gave money in a few days, accumulating up to half a million timber. But no one tolerated me for this and did not explain the concept of "cash discipline". I calculated the cash very carefully by hand, glued it with a strip of paper on which I wrote the number of notes, the amount, the date, put a signature, and locked it in the safe. In general, I liked the job.

But here, I’ll go into the office one day, where I find a cheerleading director. The eyes immediately fall to the safe. The heart is spotted, and the anus is reflexively compressed so strongly that even a molecule of helium does not slip into it... because the door is open. The Director is such:

Oh, and here are you! Why is the safe locked? We have Chapo! The revenue increased!

There were 230,000 in the safe. I won’t earn that much in a year. I remember closing the safe. Through growing panic, I try to ask questions:

I definitely locked it! What to do now? Calling the police? Who else has the keys?

The keys? Dirk pretended to think. Here is you, here is me. No more of anyone. The police will hardly help. Anyone who could find it will not find it.

He begins to fall out of the office. And I see that his leather jacket’s inner pocket is suspiciously sprinkled. And when he makes a step, the floor of his jacket slightly bends, and I see that he has packs of money there. Taking hold of it as if it were a puddle, still not fully aware of the situation, I throw myself over it:

Wait to! What money do you have in your jacket?

I have me? Those are the others, miss it. He tries to pull my shoulder away. For some reason, there is a confidence that if he leaves now, then I will crash 230 tons without registration and SMS. On the adrenaline, I catch it for the jacket, I take the money out of my pocket and see that it is the same lavender from the safe, I put together in packs and signed.

The Others? Why is my signature on them?

The director of the second shrugged five eyes and said:

Good that we found it! And a bottle of bottle runs around me and falls. And I stand, hold that money in my hands, and try to understand. What the fuck is this? This was the first and last time I worked in a position related to material responsibility.

I went on a trip to Istanbul. After all the affairs were done, he tasted the local shaurma in a fairly decent place and went for a walk around the old town. I walk through the narrow streets, contemplate the local color and then my intestine decided to express its feast to the local cuisine. The search for the toilet was unsuccessful. I had to improvise. I run into a hollow street. I catch the cardboard rolling there and sit behind the garbage tank if necessary. I exhale. What a relief! And here above I hear a native Russian speech: - Man, I told you not to go here! Wild people on the streets!

Soviet caricatures of the “capitalist west” have become relevant again.
Now they are about us...

The Soviet people

A friend told me a little about his family’s history. They are from the Kazan Tatars. In the 1930s they were dismantled. The eldest of eight children has already been married, escaped deportation – he left for Uzbekistan and lived there. The rest spent the entire period of deportation in the Krasnoyarsk region. After the expulsion period, the whole family returned to Kazan. And his grandfather Nazib remained in Yenesaysk. He lived there with his family, from there he went to war, there he returned in 43 when he was commissioned after a serious injury. After the war, his family persuaded him to return to Kazan with his family. Sold the house, property, cattle and bird, and returned home. A year has passed – it’s not all about him. not like it. My older brother was in Uzbekistan. He came there and lived there for another year – he didn’t like it either. Lust for Siberia. I wrote about this to a friend in Yenyaysk. He replied, “Come, of course, we will help!” and this was just the spring – the beginning of garden work. And this friend, being confident that Nazib will soon come with his family, grazes a garden not only for himself, but also for Naziba, plants potatoes, sows everything for two families... little more - decomposes his house with a fence in half, and cuts a separate entrance. Nazib came - here is your house, here is your garden... Nazib raised eight children in Yenesaysk, waited there and grandchildren.
One of those grandchildren, who is already a grandfather, told me this. He says: "We were not surprised at the time of such friendship between people, help... This is just an example of relationships that were considered normal... Called this friend of my grandfather - Semen Ermolaev."