I remember the boss asking me who of us is a fool, I or he.
I answered that everyone knows that he doesn’t hire idiots.

I have a main job in the factory, an engineer. And also a passenger gazelle on the route runs. One day I had to transfer the money to the driver for maintenance 5000p. The route passes by my work, after 4 stops I am home. I follow Glonass where my car is driving. Coming in, I did not get the money in advance and I was pushed to the end of the salon, but at the entrance he of course saw me. And here we go means and I understand that I can’t get ahead, I think I’ll go out through the back door if anything. I take a paper of 5000 and I say please give it. And my fifth swam through the cabin with a slight confusion of passengers. The driver calmly took the bill and put it in his pocket. Here is my next stop, I scream to the whole salon: “Stop next...”

We approach the stop and there is a man shouting to me, “What about surrender?”

I said, “Let it sink.” And I go out.

After 10 minutes, the driver calls from the terminal and says, "Petrovich! Well, and your humor, I was almost killed here while I was driving to the end. The police wanted to call the Department of Transportation. No one believed that you were the owner and just gave me the money...Shortly tie it!

As a child, I watched kung fu films, took Tao de Jing from a friend and decided that I would be a blessed monk.

In the evening, my mom came and asked when I was going to wash the dishes I promised to wash yesterday.

I: Lao Tzu teaches that even if nothing is done, the problem will sooner or later resolve itself.

Q: Do I wash my laundry?

I: As an option.

...

That evening my mom peeled me off with a vein, and I realized that Buddhism wasn’t mo.

Many people nowadays prefer to have their brains washed than their hands clean.

The Partial Pediatrist. Awaken the Pioneer Camp.

The continuation. The beginning, about the kitchen of the pioneer camp - in yesterday's issue.
https://www.anekdot.ru/id/1201722/

After bringing order in the kitchen of the pioneer camp, well, order from my point of view, but not with the cook, I became bored and I used to actively participate in the educational and entertainment process.
The leaders were slightly tense.
But since the children and the leaders themselves were now fed much better, the pedagogical collective began to tolerate me with restraint.

I proposed the scenario of "Neptune Day"; the intelligent role of the same Neptune; the public selection of captains for the role of seawives; the classic "topless" variant for seawives of the director of the camp for some reason immediately rejected with indignation... and the radioist said that "at last the doctor is a man" and offered "the key to the radio rubbish at any time" (ha, yeah, I have the whole medical unit and there is also an insulator); the circle "Young sanitary"; "let us bring the children on a march, and with a nighttime at the coast... which is immediately on Noah, I am of a clean heart..."; the young fisherman competed for the heaviest fish (a 200-gram someone tried to catch), the largest (12 centimeters), the largest c
I was tolerated only because I honestly implemented all my ideas myself, well, how it will work out.

In the afternoon, a pioneer came and shouted, "You are called there on the shore, there uncle drowned."
The heat, the afternoon sleep, threw his coat, in his pocket a pharmacy, a phonendoscope on his neck and a swinging halo jumped to the shore.
Under a half-meter-long clay slope, two men crawl, some bright cloth rolls, and the director of the camp rings from the top of the shore.
I look with the eyes of the drowning man, I see nothing. He jumped from the breach (goodbye, the white coat clean) - no one was injured.
He looked around, then, finally, realized - a bright cloth is a float on a man, he himself is the colour of clay, from a couple of meters you will see the figure.
In short, the brigade in the car of the household service unit, which belonged to the camp, returned from the area. They went to their camp, drank a little (this is a plus 30 in the shade) and took a swim (the river is almost mountainous with cold water). The man had something like an asthma attack right in the water, he didn’t even whisper, stopped breathing and lay down.
The scooters caught him, pulled him out of the water, and can not lift him up to the shore on clay.
I don’t remember what he had there with the pulse and other things.
I found at least some vein on the rear side of the wrist, hit immediately, I had a syringe, and dropped what was in the pharmacy bag - prednisolone with dimedrol and some antispasmodic.
The lungs were almost clean - the spasm of the bronches not only prevented him from breathing, but also prevented the water from rushing while he was cool at the bottom.
In short, a man was suffocating in me, coughing.
Three of them somehow pulled him off the shore, put him in the shade of the van, I went back to the medical station, and this brigade soon left.

Universal respect and even some reluctance of others corrupt quickly.

After breakfast, swimming in the river.
The hour - the children, the hour - the middle, the hour - the senior units.
If at the beginning of the shift I came to the shore and, standing on my knees in the river all three hours watched the children swimming vigorously and forced to watch with me the bodyguard who wanted to watch for the chiefs, then now it looked like this: the full doctor walked to the beach, selectively choosing a place (you can think that from yesterday the river changed the course or washed the beach), deeply calculated the movement of the shadow from the only rope, pulled into the sand a rod with a white rope and a red cross on it from a tape of someone's band, type "there will be a medical point", allowing the chased head - "children can be launched"; and lay on a sandstone in a bowl from the medical flag, strictly punishing the surrounding "
Fizruk exhibited to me the comfortable sound level of his cassette magnetophone "Spring" and every 20-25 minutes changed the side of the single cassette with Rosenbaum, which I heard then for the first time.
Until now, I know, “At the Pavilion of Beer-Water was a Soviet post. He came from the people. As they say, “your boyfriend”; “Hunks” and all those early works of Rosenbaum that fit on the cassette, and the blasphemy, listen twenty-five days in a row daily three or four times the same, and even during the sweet dream – intentionally into the undercourt went.

At the end of the shift, the director gave me an UAZ-"bushank" to take home, usually the doctor was going to the city in a bus with everyone, but when I arrived at the entrance, a surprise awaited me - the driver got out of the car and pulled into the apartment two healthy cardboard boxes, in which there was a bowl, condensate, ham, wheat and sugar, little that a bowl with ham was then deficient, and there were so many products that I fed the family almost not before the New Year.

The payment for the beach-camp barrel surpassed me in the first duty - I remembered Nothing, neither dosages, nor treatment schemes, nor compositions of droplets, the brains as if the saliva had flooded; I had to penetrate through this a couple or three duty, until the skills were restored.

The next spring, I joyfully gathered again in the same camp, which was answered by the clinic, that "the place is already occupied, they have found another doctor."
Well, I was upset, of course, but somewhere, having learned about the time and place of the first shift of "my" camp, I came to see the people.
And really hailed, when the director of the camp restrainedly proclaimed that "it is very unfortunate that you did not want to work with us this year and badly addressed the team, we treated you honestly well."

Here it turned out that the trade committee of the combination, it turns out, wrote letters of thanks to my clinic, sent letters, asked me for the next summer for all three shifts...

I finally found out what was going on (history 1179076 for 21.01.21) and I went to write an application for dismissal.
This was the end of my “campus pediatrician” career and the beginning of my “rehabilitator” career.

About this later, I will not leave the trip now.

If when reading Russian news mentally add before each “contrary to common sense”, it becomes easier.

I know one woman who in her youth (approximately the early 1970s) married a representative of not their nationality, which caused her parents to fall into resentment. The parents publicly denied her, "It is not a daughter for us from now on and forever; here is a son for us a son, and we do not know you!" And all that. So they did not communicate.

Years passed, the USSR collapsed, this woman and her parents were in different countries. The heroine of history is in the Russian Federation, and her parents are in the European Union.

And around the beginning of the 2000s, my mother came into contact and offered to meet and reconcile. “We are not native people, right? I didn’t have a long time left, and I always regretted that we got that way.” She sent her daughter an invitation, the daughter went to her little homeland, maybe they even cried there, hugging. We have reconciled. Mother said, “Remain, you will have a home, you will get citizenship and all that.”

Well, and the daughter remained in the home to take care of the mother, because the husband of the daughter has long died, their own children were already on their feet, and here the reunion with the mother, in addition, the mother was almost gone, and then in general left.

In general, she has cared for her mother for several years, in recent years, she has already had a shit of soap, and the shit has endured, and so on.

And when the mother died, the will turned out to be on the son, that is, on the brother of the heroine's story, and on the words of the mother asked the son to pass on to his sister, that her mother did not forgive her, because it is not, and this is all supposedly reconciliation - for the reason that the mother needed care, and a nurse to hire is expensive.

The daughter went home.

xxx: In the middle band of our homeland (for example in the Pskov region) the salary of 40 thousand is really not easy to find.

Yyy: You just need to work on two jobs of 20 or four of 10, and it's not difficult to find it in any strip. Enjoy health, I am waiting for photos from the yacht and near my Maybach

Since childhood, we have been told that before the law everyone is equal and that the rules are for everyone. But this is the only reason why the schoolchildren dressed up on the first floor, in a place specially dedicated to this, so as not to spread dirt throughout the school, and the teachers go to their office, leaving behind dirty traces. And in the dry warm weather, many teachers did not change clothes at all, but schoolchildren were still forced to wear a shirt, because these are the rules.

And then in the social science, I spoke about it all. To me, the teacher intelligently and with indignation explained that you are many, and teachers are few and so they can break some rules and there is nothing terrible in this and in general you are still a child, how dare you tick me with your nose.

It is clear that this can be said to be a harmless example and should it be outraged at all. Only when the next deputy beats a person, he also thinks, "well nothing terrible, I have beaten a simple person, what now to go to jail for this? Well not.”

We are not allowed to predict how our word will react.

As the children discovered with horror where the meat dishes came from, they had to convince them that all the broilers, calves and pigs live a happy and fulfilling life on the farm, and only by throwing off the straw from old age, they become food.

A couple of years passed before the first funeral - the smallest beat the mother-in-law with a sincere question: "When will grandfather be in the cocklets?"

When my wife left, I was sad at first. But then I got a dog, bought a motorcycle I’ve always dreamed of, and finally struck the neighbor who I wanted for a long time! Life immediately improved, only now I think that when my wife comes back from work - I p@deac...

It happened yesterday in the local Fifth and like that it burst into the soul.

I stand at the box, from cheese products and a bottle of wine. I am 90 years old, but I don’t look at my age at all, so I’m still asking for a passport.

I don’t look 17 years old, but I’m still young.

It is my turn, I get my passport on the machine and show the cashier.

He looks at the passport and me and there is a funny dialogue.

So you’re nineteen, why should I look at the passport?

I’m always asked, I look young, I’m used to it.

So you can move a little, it’s time.

It was so sad (

It’s hard to get up from your knees with your ears in the shit.

Yesterday I met a friend of my school years at a restaurant. I finished the meeting at work, sat down with me, talked for a few hours. A busy story:
Three years ago we moved to a new apartment. Money was in general, the wife only gave birth to the second, with hard work, mortgage - you understand, not to fat. The eldest son, a 10-year-old obaltus, loves to play compass and does not like to read. Therefore, the constant desire to buy the unit is stronger. Because of the lack of funds, all the houses have to be cut to the root. As it was a bad mood - the contract broke, and the son began to noot again. I tell him:
No money, not at all. If you find money, I will buy a notebook.
Where will I find them?
How do I know? Look and you will find. Or make money.
How is?
You don’t read books, you don’t know. So it is all written.
Well Dad!
Dad is busy, the conversation is over.
(The apartment was bought with some furniture and some books also remained, our ones we also added)
The next day I see the son riding in books, reading headlines, looking through.
Maybe I’ll like it, I think I’ll start reading at least.
I sit in the kitchen and suddenly I hear the cry:
Dad, Dad, I found the money!
I jump, I see a happy son with a book on nuclear physics (!) Two banknotes of 500 euros.
Where did I find?
In the book!
In this one?
and yes!
There is no pause.
Why did you study nuclear physics?
You said, look in the books, I was looking.

The laptop was eventually purchased. The book is from the previous owners of the apartment.

From one store ordered chicken with delivery to the house, and from another store - eggs.
Let’s see, let’s see...

A strange man. Shamans believe that after death you will have to pay for everything - not.

The first salary

My London acquaintance had electricians working in the house - to turn the wiring, install the sockets, etc., all this took about one and a half months. The seven-year-old son of the acquaintance, Teo, he was constantly turning at the electricians under his feet, asking questions, touching instruments - the comrade thought to shout at him not to bother, but the electricians did not object and even kindly communicated with him.
A couple of weeks later, a friend received a letter from an electrician firm that contained a bill addressed to Teo and his salary of £15.
Decoding of the calculation list:
Measurement of different things - 1.50
Calculation and folding of the number of rosettes - 1.50
Catering (flavored cookies) – 1.50
Class Volunteering – 1.50
Quality control (a lot of questions) – 9.00
In total - 15 pounds sterling (a little more than 1500 rubles in equivalent).
Should I say that Teo is extremely proud of himself and his first salary?

My wife left me with three minor children (the eldest son 7 years old, daughter 4 years old and younger 3 weeks old) and went to the kitchen to drink tea. What should I do?

Xxx: The problem of the present time is the abundance of highly motivated low-skilled personnel

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