bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №124556
 17.02.2016
She is like a sister. Periodically pings me and small, like a servo and a workstation:
Oh my dear!! Will you eat?! to
It is small!! Have you picked up your wallet?! to

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №124555
 17.02.2016
Akhor: Hm, my notebook does not seem to have a processor burned, but a circuit next to it.
But I know who is to blame!

Starcraft 2: Legacy of the Void?

Akhor: In general, there is a mission in which in the process of recruiting all imaginable allies the main character is going to go to an ancient ship, where the robots left off for former disobedience.
He’s going to reactivate them, and his adviser – and, to a certain extent, the most sympathetic of the protosses – Rohana says it’s not possible to do that.
After her words "Even once you listened to me!" I press "Start a mission"—and something burns in my laptop.

Acknowledged, the witch is a witch!

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №124554
 17.02.2016
Sex should be as accessible as food and toilets.

It is available right now:
Prostitution = fast food
Restaurant = Restaurant
Wife = home food
And with the toilets we have in the city is worse than with sex, so I don’t like this analogy.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №124553
 17.02.2016
- she lives in a room with two guys, so her personal life is either very good or not.)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №124552
 17.02.2016
My parents told me about the sausage for 2.20. And we will tell stories about a dollar for 30

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №124551
 17.02.2016
xxx: This film sounded a bunch of goblins. This is a good reason to look at him...
YYY: The Goblin Pucks? Then OK.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №124550
 17.02.2016
I visited Natasha yesterday. The child (a year old) was surprised to point his finger to her bald cat. We said it was "kitsa". The child was in doubt.)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №124549
 17.02.2016
Remember a few years ago, at some car show, the CEO of the group "Ferrari" stated that the cars they make are, of course, fast, but not comfortable. To which he replied: "Children, I only sell engines!The rest is free add-on!" A good marketing move, you need to check the car vase too: "We only sell screws with gauges, the rest is a free addition!".

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №124548
 17.02.2016
I went to the veterinarian to cut my cat’s nails.

How much does it cost to cut your nails?
- 250 rubles, and if aggressive 400 r
Okay let’s go.
Is she aggressive?
I don’t know... let’s start... and I’ll pay if I can.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №124547
 17.02.2016
I was at the dentist. A dentist is generally a beautiful girl with a large breast size. I lie, then, with my mouth open and she says, “Hold your head to your chest.” After a second of confusion and a mixed-emotional look, I realized that I needed to lean my head to my chest.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №124546
 17.02.2016
One thing is that the anthem of our course was written on the melody "Vladimirsky Central", says a lot...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №124545
 17.02.2016
I had a retired aunt.
In compass, only one-eyed people mastered well.
Thro the day, she watched photos and videos of gardening.
a document on one page of the word printed for a few days
After that, everything had to be formatted.
as a check or commission - it is not, it is in the hospital.
came not at 8.30 and at 9 and sometimes later - the grandson long in the kindergarten daughter collected"
They persuaded, persuaded and asked.
They were deprived of a portion of the prize - still went to work as for entertainment.
Well, what about her past knowledge and skills if they are not brought to a new wave? If she gets a salary, and pulled all the department?

No one is against retirees - specialists, retirees - tutors, those who continue to develop and improve their qualifications.
against those who do not lead a way of life and carry it as a medal for past merits.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №124544
 17.02.2016
It’s not that he doesn’t learn from mistakes... but he doesn’t do it like everyone else.
For example, after falling from a bridge into a river in a car, he simply put a portable aqualong in a new car.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №124543
 17.02.2016
Are the ladies so tired before a date?
To be liked. Of course, it would be best to go on a date immediately naked and with pots of borst, but society tends to put some stupid restrictions before its members, calling them rules of decency, so you have to twist out.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №124542
 17.02.2016
Late on the train, sat on the passing, everyone was already sleeping there, they are going far away... So I get a toilet in the dark, my lips are very airy! I squeeze with addiction, the lips themselves, around the mouth, almost the nose and cheeks. I sit and wait for departure. 10 minutes and 15 minutes. Until I accidentally hit my lips. I look red. I was scared, thinking of blood. It turns out that in the darkness confused the hygienic and red especially durable dress! And I’m sitting like Ronald McDonald, with a clown grimace on my whole face!!! I’m glad I didn’t sleep like that! Or the passengers who woke up early would be terrified by the red-brown snoring girl!! to

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №124541
 17.02.2016
I spoke to five deputies, and none of them was able to explain to me what they had just accepted in the Omsk City Council.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №124540
 17.02.2016
On the website:
Schedule or interval of movement: 7-20, 14-45, 16-00, 17-15 (from Autornikvaksal) 7-50, 15-30, 16-30, 17-45 (from Spirits Factory)

XH: Error at the point of departure
WOU: related to the destination)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №124539
 17.02.2016
She gave her younger brother (9 years old) to play with a tablet. Result: History of Google requests.
When a meteor falls on Earth,
What kind of graduation,
The nearest black hole.
What to do if you are captured by aliens
How to make a time machine at home.

Attention to the question. What is science fiction to read? "The War of the Worlds" Wells is already reading.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №124538
 17.02.2016
Is there a remedy for burnout?

and no.

Is there soda?

It will be next week.

It burns and I am now.

There is a way to make the burn last for a week.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №124537
 17.02.2016
Stop writing so many books here.
Especially not funny.

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