News on a major Kazakh car portal: "A major accident involving a hundred cars occurred last Thursday in the Canadian province of Ontario.

Comment: Soon in the markets of Almaty, not beaten, not painted!

What a beauty that blooms. A woman, of course, is multifunctional: and will support itself in order (otherwise no one likes it), and take care of their neighbors (otherwise she is in need of anyone at all), and the men closest must wash and dress (even when they resist, that clean socks matching the color is a sign of gayness), she among her girlfriends a suitable couple to look for, and has not yet found (there is no hurry) - herself intimately "in friendship" to serve, and then Mr. - pleases a good guy from unconstructedness! And at the same time, of course, provide yourself and your family - so that for your own couple not to be a "parasite that sits on your neck." True, your couple such a touching care for your neighbor anyway, gently speaking, will not have to...
But a man can only do one thing - but it is one thing in perfection and absolute! What a blasphemy to demand that a computer genius even shoes could clean himself.

There are three: he, she and the cat.
He – What are you doing?
It is an erotic massage.
Well, the cat is up.

Conversation with a drunk husband (drunk not at all and not on time, agreed in advance for this time to go on business):
M: Well, you’re screaming, I don’t understand your claims anyway, let’s talk when I dry up...
Half an hour later, I got out of bed.
OK, I drink now, or I’ll be ashamed later.

A picture of a cat and a tiger.
Commentary :
thank you, not about Ukraine, now cats in the deficit on the internet

and Timor:
I don’t even wash my car in the winter, but I have to wash my wife’s car.

by Dmitry:
Made my day! My girlfriend wanted a cat and I didn’t, so we made a compromise and got a cat.

Naughty!! Go go you naked!! This is a source of funny quotes, fucking!! It is funny, you understand? It is a funny cock!! You have just gone to the end with your hideaway, slugs, child barricades from some hideaway, stories like you are not given, complaints about life, books searches, advice to those who are not given by friends, advice to those who complain about life, answers to posts about child barricades and answers to these answers. Let go of those who think it’s interesting to someone. I want it to be funny, I don’t want to read that you are not happy with what is happening in Ukraine (and least of all I want to read about the correctness in Ukraine). If I want to read about this, I will find a forum devoted to this topic. Are you stupid, do you put it all here? Do you do nothing? Don’t put anything ridiculous here!! No need to fuck!! only if it will be funny or, fucking with him, will have a hint of humor. More than Nihil. Just funny. It is funny fucking!!! to

Today, the Prep asked me: “And here’s how you think: originally, why did the split happen in Ukraine?” I answered, "Because there in the western part of the salmon on the bread is laid vertically, and in the eastern part - from the bottom up." The couple was fucked up.
and Morph

AAA: For me, this is an insoluble mystery. In the USSR, it was sold. But where did the rest of the oxygen go? The name could not have eaten so much.

BBB: Now I have a reverse question. Sold whole steaks or whole steaks. Where are the extra heads?

Comments on Mercedes-Benz Olympic prize winners:
"not patriotic as that, it was necessary to start with UAZ patriot, then UAZ hunter,
then UAZ goat, well, or prioru, kalina, hockey players on sandlands"

One million rubles were stolen by an unknown citizen of Ukraine in a route taxi in the southeast of Moscow.

In Russia, Yanukovych was not waiting for happiness.

to this:
And when I turned away from the fire of the dragon, I also usually turned away in real, knocking my mouth on the closet next door. Today it hurts the ear and mouth to open. So these games are not so safe."

Playing once long ago Doom 2 at night, avoiding the skeleton rocket, hit the head at the sharp corner of the book shelf. It is still in place."

Flying on a helicopter - fell from a chair)))

From the article on Japanese (sic!) To check whether staying in liquid nitrogen caused irreparable harm to the body of the leeches, Japanese scientists allowed frozen leeches to swim in vessels with distilled water. The spiders swam there for 45 days and then die. The researchers concluded that leeches were more likely to die from starvation than from the effects of freezing.

here here :

xxx: Programmers in their own way "watch and throw".
xxx: "Attempted and escaped!"
----------------
"The attacker and escaped" is not a programmer, but a Sisadmin. The programmer is "compiled and downloaded" or "assembled and hit".

The commentary:
The Poor:

I realized that I got well over all these holidays. I sit at work, looking at my summer "bad" photos with longing. A colleague comes back, looks into the monitor, and says:
Mmm... what a cute one. A girlfriend? Do you meet?

__________

This was a boost to your side on the subject of weight, here it is more likely even the opposite, a manifestation of sympathy =)

__________

No, I didn’t really recognize her. Eaten like a cow.

Alcohol makes everyone beautiful.
is not true. I drink and drink, and my attraction to people does not change. Then I am wood.

AS: Maidan: passengers raised the uprising in the plane, a cowardly pilot jumped out with a parachute, now everyone is curiously waiting for when the fuel will end.
AS: During the entire flight, the pilot first rolled out the brightest devices in the cabin, and then began to wander around the cabin and press the passengers mobile phones. Actually, it is not surprising that the passengers were upset, especially since the presence of a parachute at the platoon they guessed initially.
BPR: Well stand, a new pilot has been selected on this plane right away
BPR: voting by passengers
BPR: from business class
AS: Does he have a twisted device?
BPR: officers promised to send military aircraft from neighbors. But! Only after the new pilot boarded the plane :D
BPR: Meanwhile, the passengers of the tail compartment are rallying to separate the tail in flight and join it with neighboring Ruslan.)))
AS: Passengers of the nose section in this case, threaten to throw everybody around with unwashed stockpile socks with the smell of nuclear weapons.
BPR: At the same time, everyone carefully does not remember that every new pilot got new brilliant instruments and twisted them again.)))
AS: A "Ruslan" just so big that you can do a lot of things on it without compromising functionality?)
BPR: "Ruslan" is more clever than any. He does not use fuel in flight, but produces it :D

Judging by the rain behind the window, today is not February 27, but minus March 2.and :)

(Conversation in the office room)
She: I believe, you hear, I believe that this world still has a chance. This morning I saw a man who, with a very sad face, wanted to buy a cognac, then stood up and thought, said, "A, hell!" - and went and cleaned up a bottle of cognac and took two bags of cat food. Man can beat himself and become better, I said!
From the morning? At what time?
It’s half nine in the morning, what?
According to the law, until 11 a.m.
He: Yes, he is a good man.

The xxx:
Sakura Flower
I am tired
I go to sleep

YYYY :
The Jedi Night
The Green One
Quietly desired