My friend works in furniture. He tells us:
An employee of the hall approaches and reports that on the sofa in the department is soft, sleeping some man. Well, he is there, really sleeping, until the snoring stands. Well he wakes him up and says he’s sleeping, yeah.
He stared at him, then onto the couch for 75 boxers and said, Ohye...your couch...I take.

A girlfriend and her husband took the cat to the clinic for surgery. The second time in a month. The first time the tail was sewn, now the cheek is sewn. The husband of a friend and asked the veterinarian: And the memory of the cat will not deteriorate due to anesthesia?
The veterinarian promised that the cat will no longer read and write, but will find the way home

He is not sorry for me until I need him.

I recently went to the market.
The cold dog. The wet snow is falling and melting. In a row, between the two shelves, lies a dog. In front of his gloves. No one needs this gloves, but the dog does not know it and honestly protects it. So they would lie, but the shops are irritated by the fact that the dog whispers and buyers bypass this place away. Waiting for the guard. Just started approaching, as the dog got up, and revealed his teeth. He threatened him with a policeman.
The dog’s nose was threatening. The wool on the grit became a dew.
Your mother, you’re gone from here! A watchman walked.
In response, the dog laid his leg on the gloves and cried very cleverly.
The guard understood everything, advised the merchants to move to other shelves and dropped. The dog cried again.
There was no time for the grandmother to decide how to the place of the events approached a woman enveloped with bags. The dog jumped, turned and ran for his dog business.
Seeing the glove, the woman lifted it up and showed the public the second one.
Witnesses began to praise her smart and conscientious dog.
I don’t have any dogs,” said the surprised woman, and this is the first time I see her.
Well, what academic Pavlov will explain what prompted the homeless dog, risking his skin, to protect someone else’s thing!

The hydrometeorological center requires staff with joint disease.

The phrase "me two three in one", pronounced today in the street cafe, brought my foreign friend into a state of a noble spirit.

The other was removed from 4 course. He served for three years under a contract with VDV. He returned to college and is now finishing his studies. Protection of pre-graduate practice. A young postgraduate student (complete mess) asked a bunch of unnecessary additional questions, obviously trying if not to fall, then reduce the rating to a minimum. Eventually, after a friend answered almost all of the questions, the postgraduate student said, "Well, we will meet with you again at the defense of the diploma."
The friend, collecting all his material from the table said loudly, but so that everyone could hear:"and after the defense also..."

Comments on the film:
Asteriks90: The movie is fucking!! to
Tagged: translation fucking
Coachvova: comments shit))
Ptutch: Life is shit

I am plagued by blurred doubts.
Judging by the description of the average programmer (beard, sweater, stunned look, stunned look...), our courtyard bomb Valera is a programmer! Or by O_O!! to

The Ordinary State will meet the People-Virgin

From mailing on the Windows installation forum:
A check on "Validity" is going on?
Swedish translation into rural Slavic
XHH: Check whether your system is not stolen from the church, but purchased in Lara "Operational systems"

Is it possible to consider falling on the ice by applying cold to the sick spot?

Discussion on the phone of some new card for the game on the network:
XXX: Short rifle on the veranda, grenade gun in the barracks.
YYY: You know, if the line is listened, then they are already following us.

I go through the park. He lifted his head up, and there was a white tree. And so I was pleased. I think I will share the joy. I call my sister and declare, “I’ve seen the whitebox!” and the sister, after 3 seconds of silence, replied, “Huevo.” We need to stop drinking..."

From Internet correspondence of a student (C) with a scientific director (N.R.) is :

N.R: Imai, Sorokina, in mind
What’s up until now (the naive!) I await the plan!
Do not turn your head,
Yes, I’m waiting for the course!

C: I write you a rhythm in response,
As there was no plan, so not.

Today I was convinced that alcohol is really dangerous to health.
X: Yesterday I was swollen in the sticker...I don’t remember anything.
xxx: but judging by the Yandex’s open page with the “nuclear bomb with its own hands” request, it was very fun.

A couple of cars are being repaired.
When will you clean them?
I: After 2 minutes and anal sex, what?
No matter what, let them lie.
They roared together for a long time.

School, driving and the city. The instructor(s) and the student(s) are:
Ready for the city, learned the rules? =) is
A: What are they? ^ ^ ^
(A) O_O

Sometimes it seems to me that fate is not just laughing at me, but beating in hysterical rust :-(

My Uncle of the Honest Rules
When I didn’t joke
He put the cliché on himself.
Then I couldn’t pull it out :-/