bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №109450
 16.02.2015
xxx: You are straight little of what has reached the bottom, so also to dig the mine began. and #65279;

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №109449
 16.02.2015
Generally by
You are too much of mine
Take it seriously
These holidays.

Imho, the most serious of all to the 8th of March is I. the seller of flowers.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №109448
 16.02.2015
Last week we had a dust storm.

Sitting to lunch. Suddenly I look: by the glass door, a white rabbit is carried up by the wind. As I blinked my eyes and tried to see if I had a ghost, the rabbit moved in the opposite direction.
by Marinalevy

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №109447
 16.02.2015
for marriage:
Don’t get married guys. Grandma, don’t get married. You are filled with this happiness: the grandmothers complain that they are empty and not put in a penny, the men complain that they are drawing money and don't do any shit. Live alone, and in order not to get on the food bubble, be sterilized in advance. Only then do not complain that the Russian people are dying out because of geo-European propaganda – because of this, their relations with each other are dying out.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №109446
 16.02.2015
A grandmother who tells passers who is a drug addict and who is a prostitute earned good on advertising.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №109445
 16.02.2015
xxx> Opened the British Postal Service website.
xxx> "Royal" by the way - Royalmail too.
xxx> Picture for half the front page: some Turkish or Arab handing a package to a Korean.
xxx> and so on.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №109444
 15.02.2015
One of our squads was stationed in a tractor, and a woman was washing there in the corridor floor. The Soldier of the Temple stumbled at her and stumbled her, as if it were to be said, on the shirts. Her coat was raised very high. He slapped her once, she slapped nothing, the other, the third, she slapped nothing, as if it had nothing to do with her, then he decided to act; she kept quietly washing the floor, and then turned to him and said, "This is how I caught you, soldier." This grandmother was 70 years old; then she told the whole village about it.

(Again the same swing, the same swing)

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №109443
 15.02.2015
I have a girlfriend captain, I have the most white ticket. Go to fuck and from February 23 and from March 8.

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №109442
 15.02.2015
The weekend. Saturday - went for water, for food, hit the refrigerator, washed, cleaned the carpet with a brush (the vacuum cleaner does not cane, a herd of long-haired cats lives). I prepared lunch and dinner. Sunday - I put everything in the closets, washed the floors, wiped the dust. I went to visit a friend. Walked with the child. They did lessons. Here is the evening. The husband played for two days, not spreading his back, distracting only for food. Let us go to sleep.
Husband: How tired I am!
You are still asking why single women live longer...Because they wear less in the process of family life!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №109441
 15.02.2015

5% of Russians speak Tatar. In the Russian Federation there is one state language.
The problem?

What is the problem? State language in Tatarstan

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №109440
 15.02.2015
I already remembered about married/unmarried people... People, explain why a man should get married? Why a woman is married - I understand, to sit on someone's neck for a long time and have all kinds of material threads at someone else's expense + if the card is quite successful, to pick up more threads when divorcing and at the expense of alimony. And all this without any effort. And what does a man get when he marries, besides an extra cost item? And one that is not so easy to get rid of (remember about divorce and property division, right?)
– – – – –
Where do you get those stories? No matter how I look around - that among my parents and their peers, that among my peers - ALL wives work equally with their husbands. Some manage to earn more husbands, often as much or less, but no couple has ever been found in which the wife is sitting at home and is a "spending item". More like some fairy tales about the wives of oligarchs than about 95% of the country’s population. Particularly, a bunch of women suffer, spit, complain about their lazy-alcoholic who does not earn anything, only asks for drinks, but advise to divorce - well you, as possible, need a man in the house / children need a father / he will disappear without me.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №109439
 15.02.2015
Why marry a man? Then, that he loves a certain woman, he cannot live without her, he wants her to have children for him. Sometimes they run, persuade, blackmail, promise to end their lives, and so on. What for a woman in marriage without effort? and none. Absolutely no one. So serious, that in general, it is a profession and work, to be a housekeeper and a good hostess in the house. That needs to be a calling. And since this is a rare vocation, it is not necessary to hinder wives in laziness because of household appliances. They are invented for that. But every married woman is obliged to keep the house clean. Cooking is also a talent. Almost all women cook every day and even several times a day, you despise the stores, you won't eat the purchased cocktails, your mom twisted three times through the meat machine and you, an unworthy woman, won't break! And get up at 5 a.m. and prepare your brownies for breakfast, as my mom always did! Do you work? Who is interested in your work is an insignificant detail. Donated little money? You sit on my neck, infection? Snoring after birth? In its use, we will find a new, slim and younger, and we will not pay alimony, we will hide the salary. Men, you overestimate your role in the family THAT...which is not even funny. Consider a woman next to you a burden - don't marry, please, never!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №109438
 15.02.2015
Stability is when you use Google Street View to look at a sign with a bank schedule, and the bank still exists, and works with the same schedule!

[ + 41 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №109437
 15.02.2015
If you woke up in the morning
In the coat and belt
A red flag over the sofa.
rifle on the back.
If you are concerned
Looking at your entire family.
You are well met on February 23!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №109436
 15.02.2015
xxx: got yesterday a free team building to unite the team: we went to the sea, meat on the wind to eat, and two hundred meters from us some car stuck in the sand. two hours tried to dig up, worked shoulder to shoulder with the head of the staff department :D

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №109435
 15.02.2015
At the airport at the entrance in his backpack
looked at. The main thing was sitting like a mouse, quiet.
I was surprised, ch...

Fuck it! Where are you doing his/her business? Arrived home by taxi?
------------
There are such special people called guides. I recommend: and you don't need to spend on a taxi, and the cat will be returned home if necessary.

[ + 30 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №109434
 15.02.2015
The commentary:

Here is OP, something is wrong. In Finland, 5% speak Swedish, so they have two official languages. How many Ukrainians speak Russian, and how many state languages are there?

— — — —

5% of Russians speak Tatar. In the Russian Federation there is one state language.
The problem?
= = = = is = is = is = is = is = is = is

Russia, along with Russian, has 37 official languages and more than 15 official languages.
of your Wikipedia.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №109433
 15.02.2015
...and now about Ibuprofen, the audience at your feet...

__________________________________________

Isobutylphenylpropanoic acid :)

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №109432
 15.02.2015
here here :

The robot will not be fooled if
The right to smell and smell.
(Read with a dreamy expression)

There are guys like that too. Indeed, their ability to get acquainted is roughly the same as that of robots.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №109431
 15.02.2015
xxx: Discovered that the symptom "another 5 minutes in the inette and sleep" has a place to be in everyday life - "another series of laminate and lunch" lasted a series of 4.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna