The husband:
The owner of the apartment (repair) is worth being. I asked him to take a shower from the bath so he could reach out. And so that there is no confusion, the owner says that this is a shower for washing the cat pot. I came up today, not to be confused, the universal name - "Kishkin shower"! and Oops:

The Russians remember! Our police work on a plan on which their salary depends, do not expect them to understand.

We do not pay for service years (except for a limited number of offices), but for the result. You can’t predict and guarantee the outcome – you’re not ready to be the first in this matter.

In many industries, the result cannot be felt or taken into account in quantitative terms, from this work does not become necessary.

Classics of genre
Speak the jump.
What is?
No, the boy must know what to jump.
So you find first the unit of measurement of my labor, and then ask what and the jump.

(from the monologues of Arkady Rykin)

"In the Sunnychnogorsk region in a month caught more than 800 drunk"
A good catch. At the end of the day they went...

The postcard:

The user Luntik added a video of the "Luntik - Trailer 451 series. Friends anyway. Released on February 19th"

The trailer! A four minute series.

List of beauty competitions:

I used to be stupid and young. Now it has begun to develop. I think I need to expand the space.
and AGA. Then spread the microphone to the next participant, please.

Doctors study in clinical hospitals. There is the word "clinical" - there will be students. And your contempt for students, cries - "Drive out all!" will turn for you then curved seams, cuts not in place and other delights. The doctor will not be taught. And there are no interns there - there are postgraduates and postgraduates, and these are people who have completed a full course of honey, do you seriously think that they have not seen anything else in the genitals? In fact, students after 3 courses already have medical practices - with trips, recordings in the map and assistance at operations.

When arranged for work, men are more effectively negotiated / negotiated on the size of the salary. They tend to overestimate themselves.

Conclusion: Men will become perfect prostitutes

My mother burned again.
I told her that it was necessary to call the gas maker - to clean the forks, because they are polluted and the gas is going badly. I am afraid of the gas plate. My mom made me laugh:
She was going to call the gas driver. Do not laugh at me! Everything is easily removed there, I will come myself, take everything up and clean up.
The concepts of "mama" and "disassembly of the gas plate by false means" did not want to be matched in any way. But if my mom says it’s easy, then it’s. If she does it, I will do it too.
This morning, finding the drill, I wrapped all four screws, but the cooking panel did not want to be removed. I call my mom.
- Four screws from the plate I screwed off, what next?
What are the four hats???? to
Those with which the top of the plate is attached. But it is not filmed anyway.
God... Why?
I need to clean the forks. Well, you said that it was easy to remove there, that you did this often when you cleaned the forks.
I am standing at the half-broken gas plate. There are four screws on the table, a screw in the hand, a doubt in the eye, a phone in the ear. And here from the tube sounds a very timely question:
What are the forks?

I lie with my wife. and silence. We are already beginning to fall asleep. And here she says:
You know, but you could not have gone on a wedding trip.
I answered confusedly:
I didn’t even drive...oh.
The Wife:
Well then okay.
Laughed to tears.

Alexander is
May give you a book on thermorectal cryptoanalysis on March 8.

Elena
I already have the solder, you will give the manual.
A shit to find.

Alexander is
The adventure you find.

Elena
Well yes. There are adventures, but no asses.

Alexander is
With the same motivation, the girls come to the gym.

From Habr, on the recognition of images:
xxx: Another error: 5 rows from the bottom, 3 columns to the right is SOVA
YYY: There is no mistake. Everyone knows that a sova is an accidentally leaked alpha version of a cat.

YYY: And the first thing they do is a gravy bomb.

Whatever the scientists work on, they still get a weapon.

c) Someone there

<xx> Chota thought that it was necessary for Christian Labuten to release the model Nah..

I am faced with the fact that a trainee student will be present at my birth. And when I categorically refuse - I hear him say, "Okay, go to Caesarean, there is complete anesthesia, she will not even know."
≈≈≈≈≈
In Germany you just don’t even know they’re trainees, hehe.

Sal: Misha talked about subtle mental organization, renunciation of material values and creative realization. He cried, prayed and wept.
Sal: But deep pregnant Marinka and her father made it clear: marriage, work, mortgage.
Sal: So in our company the expression "pro@#$t youth" at 17 played completely different colors.

It is hard to be silent in time. Because in time is a mysterious and untouchable timeframe.

After the municipality of the capital explained that the presence of owners of registration in the Unified State Register of rights to real estate and transactions with it has nothing to do with proof of the legality of obtaining the right to the object, you involuntarily start to doubt, and is the passport in the pocket proof that I am a citizen of Russia?

From Blogs:

Roskomnadzor has notified Roskomnadzor of the entry into the register of banned sites.
A brief description of the essence of the conflict: According to the court, it is illegal to tell on your website about what is entirely and entirely legal, if it allows you to access what is illegal in some way.
For example, it is illegal to teach reading: because thanks to this, a person can read extremist materials. It is illegal, even if it is legal. It is also illegal to have hands: because with their help a person can buy drugs.
We were born to make Kafka a man.

here here :

Interesting, you have a state) except for the sellers, collectors and budgeters, there is no one. In fact, if a person wants to make money, he will. He will use his whole brain and work. And who does not need, will sit for example for a small salary, but white, in the budget office to transfer papers, to drop out of work early and late, perfectly understanding that for his inefficiency no one will dismiss him. Looking for a job or other job. Instead, he will be overwhelmed by anger and envy for a more successful neighbor who walks for 12 hours a day.

All or black or white?
It is no secret that there is a huge difference in salary depending on the profession. Often, a person in a socially important area of activity gets little. A highly professional engineer, doctor, teacher can already earn a lot more and somewhere even dictate their terms to the employer, but until this point he lives for many years on a poor salary, working much more than others and spending his free time improving his qualifications, sometimes even at his own expense.