Wife (reads a newspaper): a misunderstood phrase - "Please never put a magnet next to your mobile phone"
I: I think it is a very clear phrase. What do you not understand?
I don’t know where to find the magnet.

You are just like Alan Turing. In the good sense of the word.

This offspring gynecologist in the strip club didn’t come up with anything better than after a private dance to squeeze a stripper on her ass and say, “Hello!”

Watching the girl's niece, the dialogue:
by Mitchell:
Listen, here we and Darya have a misunderstanding in the mathematical task!In the pencil there were 6 blue pencil and 9 red pencil, from there they took 3 pencil. How many wooden brushes are left in the penalty? What to answer? What is unknown?

by Rita:
HS may be misguided. There’s always that kind of stuff :)
I remember, in a textbook in Russian, when the inclination of substantive by birth took place, there were examples with the word foot. My foot, your foot, her foot, his foot, our foot, their foot. "Their leg" surprised me not,, the common leg of a group of citizens. But our leg was upset because I knew for sure that I had no common leg with anyone! :D

This is:
In the middle of the night, a young man calls the local rescue service and complains that he has caused a prostitute and remains dissatisfied.
– – – –
In fact, the first thing that the controller should clarify in this case is whether the person knows that he called the rescue service, and then - whether someone nearby is not threatened so much that the caller can not talk, and then talk about the terrible men.

And why not introduce fines for politicians for being late or not coming to work, is it their job? Take for each walk 1/5 of the sp, with a delay of 1/10. Given the systematic non-visits, they should still remain. Not only will the budget be saved, but it will also be supplemented.

When this song dies...
I sit in a public thrust, thinking of eternity.
Someone enters the neighboring cabin. I hear the sound of a wide opening. And in a moment: "Oh God, what a man!..."
Your mother is silent!! to

In the villages of the Kirov region, gray cats are called buses. There is even a name such as Bush.

Bro, you were where you were before, 50 shades of bush - you look and the bush might not have been like that.

- The captain loved to come to the part dressed as a citizen, and then changed clothes as needed. So once he passes past the construction in leather pants and in a single hat with a tail on his head, well, of course, the soldiers laugh.
Commander : - to stop laughing!!! You are what? Have you ever seen Enoch?? to

And the biggest complaint from the public is the work of the mail. On this site, there is still a massive violation of the check times for the delivery of correspondence and newspapers, often cases when letters, packages are missing, money transfers are not delivered for a long time. In Yakutsk, for example, employees of the Communications Narcomat of the USSR found in one of the postal agencies a bag of postal shipments, which had been lying since 1937.
"Newspapers", 1 April 1941

You called me an hour ago, I couldn’t pick up the phone. Something happened?
WOW: Yes, but it doesn’t matter, I’ve broken it all.

The Decorsys:
50 shades of grey. Chukchi defines 50 shades of WHITE, with each shade given its own name - this is where true erotic!

Well so :

>> And women have forgotten that March 8 is a day of struggle for equal rights.

And the men seemed to not know that February 23 was originally the Day of the Red Army and Navy. And further complicate the passage of the quest: and socks he bought, and a shower gel, and a dangerous shave. The winner! How to prepare a woman? Buy yourself a mimosus, go to a restaurant with a friend and to a neighbor on a cunnilingus?

Today is the 14th day of the 14th month of the 14th year. Who will marry?

Is there anything to do in your city?
and yes. For example, I was sick.

Now I live with a guy and we take a shower together, we have to endure. And the conditional reflection remains."

Do you think it is easier for me?

This is:
xxx is me? Sleeping at work? No, you’re wrong... In the absence of data input, I just disconnect the peripheral devices: high-definition three-dimensional imaging cameras (eyes), stereo microphones (hearing aids), speakers (speech aids). Devices such as the physical impact recognition sensor (touch), internal cooling and ventilation system (breathing), central processor (brain), RAM (short-term memory), hard disk (long-term memory) move into low energy consumption mode. The entire system moves to the state of "Waiting mode". In the background, defragmentation begins. And so it continues until the next incoming data package...

— — —
How beautiful the stars from the boss called - "incoming data package"!

HH: There is another such moment. If we design a machine that is analogous to the human mind, then in its learning will be the same nuances as in the teaching of ordinary people. She will not understand from the first time, and the understanding that she may have is not a fact that will really reflect reality. So I think the profession of teacher in the future will be a lot more diverse and interesting :)

WOW: You come to class in the first class - and you are watched by 30 small monitors :3
And they go. And you tell them: well, they quickly turned off the screenshots and opened the BIOS.

Opening the BIOS is like removing your pants :)

As they say - "sitting with his wife in a line to a women's consultation, looked at the sides... what only people fuck!"

Don’t worry too much, someone thought the same thing about your wife :)

I will expand:
xxx: I’m proposing a new topic for the jerk: who is stuck in the shower / standing under the shower vs those who tolerate the push.
----------------
The theme for the batch: the cat is sent to the shell, it is sent under the shower, it is sent from the balcony.
Who is the greatest, and should he give her a multi-wark?