Officers: “The cooler the crash...”
The technology that really gave us pleasure was CRAZ. Large, yellow, with an open body and wet wheels (6 wheel drive!This monster was exploited “in the tail and in the hryvnia.” It was carried dry for the kitchen, sand for the decoration of the camp halls, our bodies to the city beach and other army valuables, for example, underwear in the division laundry. The front glass of KrAZ adorned the passage of the series "everywhere", so this machine increased demand from camp officers, as well as respect from neighboring posts. The scooters did not hinder him either.

He ruled the monster Vova. Very experienced, competent driver, who loves the diesel equipment entrusted to him since the time of urgent service, not deprived of sense of humor and optimism.

Another working morning, Vova took the kitchen suit and polluted behind the wood, the dryhouse, which accumulates over the years on the tank field in the form of trees crushed by shooting bowls. I don’t know, maybe they didn’t let Vova go to the field because of the shooting, or for what reason, but somewhere in half an hour one of the “carriers” comes to the garage with a message from Vova that he “was gone.” Khe... “plants” a swamp KrAZ on a six-wheel drive chassis – it needs to be able to, we thought, but we have decided to not report anything. With an indifference, trying not to attract attention, we rushed for the courier, the good was not far away.

Vova (in the sense of - KrAZ) settled in a narrow forest area, not reaching the exit from the area of only a hundred meters. I settled specifically, because the last of the bowls, part of which Vova overcame, in the first impression, was something similar to a tank caponier. Caponir, somewhat filled with jade, with a consistency of "something like a village cream." From a distance of ten meters, only the upper part of the KrAZ cabin was visible, where the bored Vova smoked. The level of "cream" was exactly down the door, the cabin was not flooded - and that is good. The whole outfit diligently gathered around the surroundings of the tree and branches, trying to squeeze them into the area of the supposed wheels of the monster. Neither the branches nor the trees wanted to climb into the "cream", and if they climbed, they immediately slowly popped up.

“The helicopter will have to call,” Vova joked. We kindly advised him to splinter and start a car. As much as they could, a friendly eagle flooded the collected trunks and branches under the wheels. Vova stumbled, raising the beautiful boiling bushes, but the bushes did not emerge - obviously, they went deep into the abyss, and KrAZ did not even move. The soldiers were dispatched for new wood. Vova walked out and at every firefighter informed us that the body full of wood for the kitchen was already drowned under KrAZ.
They smoked, repeated the experience of flooding wood (the abyss turned out to be bottomless), stunned, sat down to think.

The helicopter must be called. Anyone know there are helicopters nearby? He began to throw his Vova, but was ugly crushed and, offended, went out.

Nothing more technological than the helicopter did not rise to our heads, and therefore it was decided to go and report to the vice president. I went alone. As softly as possible, from a distance and without colors, I began to tell him what incidents happened with the equipment, and in five minutes we and the deputy were near KrAZ. Having knocked something at all our relatives up to the seventh knee, the deputy died, advising us to wait and not dig.
It is necessary to pay tribute - the connection with us at least remove, and the tank regiment is on the horizon. Fifteen minutes later, in the light of the trees, a cloud of dust was visible, carrying through the field to the unfortunate prostitutes. Two minutes later, it was determined that the dust cloud was pulling the T-80 (seems to be), in the head of the steering wheel, and another warrior was pulling out of the tower. On the hole and the growing hole of the low-flying tank all poured to the edge of the field, and the one on full speed, without reducing speed, tried to spread his ass to the middle. It appeared that the pebble driver-casbek wanted to chase the back in the middle of his 50-ton monster. From the move, as cascades in the movie chase a small car on the parking lot - between two other lighthouses.

did not ask. Shrinking, like a skull of groe in the midday sun, a goose slipped out of the tank. She, in principle, did not shake anyone, but set the beginning of a grave silence. The roar of the wounded tank also stopped. Because of the spinning of enthusiastically silent spectators a voice spread:

He also lost the tank. Now without a helicopter – a pipet.

After thinking, the voice added:

If I had been on the job, I would have made my lips clean.

Vova continued to lobby his desire to drive KrAZ on a helicopter, but we did not tell him, because everything was already clear to everyone.

The head from the tower, which went into the direction of the "kasbek-mechanic", disappeared in the tank, and then came out in the helmet. Continuing to interfere with the coordinates of the tank's location, the head called the "technic". Fifteen minutes later, the twin T-80, controlled by the twin brother of the first tank's fur driver, became the "technician". He was either smarter or more frightening, but slowed down, allowing the commander to jump off the armor for remote, so to speak, control of the turn and further actions. Under the command of the commander, the "technician" turned and flooded back in the middle, braking meters ten from KrAZ. The woods threw the end (in the hand thickness) with the words "you are there somewhere to cling it," after which the woods broke up with an eagle on the cap and somewhere in the wheat for something there the phallus clinged. With the words "just if all the bridges were not pulled out of me," Vova entered the cabin.

- You shoot with speed, but especially do not drive and do not brake, - his commander of the tank.

Oh, I don’t remember you? - nervously doubted Vova, spit out the bull and immediately smoked another "Astra".

“Bamper, you will remember my cage,” answered the senior of the tank and shrugged the fur with his hand.

The beam drove the lever, the wire stretched and the tank began to sink into the ground. The crust was worn, but it did not use the dirt. The commander with gestures showed the furwoman that he could submit again, but slowly and without fanaticism. The driver moved the lever and the tank began to raise its front. Have you seen the Air Force footage of a blue whale jumping out of the ocean? An impressive spectacle, isn’t it? Especially when it’s a slow shot. Something similar, slowly, happened before our eyes. I don't think that the commander himself often observed the bottom of the 50-ton monster entrusted to him, raising his chest by 30 degrees. What gestures his commander from a height of five meters saw the fur, I do not imagine, but the tank, dying in the air for a couple of seconds, began to slowly settle in the forehead. Krzysztof was weak. Well, or he had no reason to hold in the cream.

As Vova later argued, "from the expressions of your faces you could write the triptych "Pompeii. People and horror.” The tank, then no longer stumbling, proper KrAZ until the hole without stopping. Vova violated the wish of the tank driver and still on the exit pressed the brake, apparently regretting his bumper. The tank was a poof, he stopped only by the hand of the commander, in the field.

While the people examined KrAZ for the availability of all the bridges, and Vova for the subject of interference (it seemed to us a little whiter than a leaflet), we talked with the deputy and Komtanka about the calculation of what was done, that is, for help. The amount of gratitude was reasonable and standard. One tank is half a liter. 2 tanks – 1 liter. It was normal and masculine. Not “exaggerated” and not humble. After fifteen to twenty minutes the field was empty (mechanical matters, it turns out, treat tanks faster than motorists their tires). Only a bunch of dirt at the beginning of the prosecca reminded me of the confusion that happened.

Something, and in the Soviet Army there have always been human, male relationships, especially if someone got in trouble, or even just blunted. I think the helicopters will forgive us that they didn’t get two and a half liters that day.

Eight people have disappeared in a taiga while testing a new model of GPS navigator.

YYY (15:50:40 26/03/2012)
I cooked the fish. Then a child woke up. And I ruined her.
YYY (15:50:48 26/03/2012)
Dinner is cancelled.
XXX (15:51:19 26/03/2012)
Totally ruined it?
YYY (16:00:48 26/03/2012)
and eaten

After visiting a cosmetologist and cleaning my face, I learned two things: 1) beauty is really a terrible force and 2) parange rolls.

You have such a treasure that I want to put it in a box, take it to a deserted island and bury it!

History of the network:

My children lay down and I put them to breathe over potatoes. Firstly
They resisted, then they silenced. When I removed the blanket, she almost fell. They
They ate a whole pot potato! In "mundiers" and without salt!
I explained it briefly and convincingly:
We were bored there.

Communication with the employer:

xxx: I don't want to look embarrassing but today is Friday, tomorrow you need to show work forms
XXX: Will you succeed?
and Uriah!! to
YYY is Friday!! to

Red Eyed Friend: As a person, you’re beautiful in yourself, but how fucking – you didn’t succeed
Dies Lunae: What is it? O.O
Dies Lunae: Did I not succeed?

I went to a hairdresser. My aunt will cut me. I fall asleep and fall asleep for a moment.
The hairdresser fell asleep.
Yes, it is professional.
Who are you working for?
The driver of the bus...
For a couple of seconds, her brain needed all the resources of her body to realize that it was a joke, and for a couple of seconds she stood like a mannequin.

Mozart – Dub Step Remix – Is it crazy as a whole?????? O_O

Case of the Army:

Colonel (P) asks the soldier (R) in the dining room:

Soldat, where is your oil?
R gave
Why did you give it?
Because I don’t eat.
Why don’t you eat?
R because I gave it!! to

Examination in the discipline of world economy.
     The Teacher:
Can you tell me what Bavaria is?
and BMW.
Apart from car? Something very important?
     His eyes are filled with sacred pleasure:
The cowboys?! to

I found a pair of shoes in my closet! ? ? ? ? ? I feel like a cupid!) ) )

The xxx:
Could I give you an anti-stress pillow?

YYYY :
Give me an anti-stress sword and an anti-stress spear.
I will kill anti-stress fools.

The xxx:
Mdama
My sister fucking
I agreed to get married for something scary.
Oh Oh

YYYY :
Don’t worry, don’t worry like that. Someone will come out for you too.

Cola: Our city is full of cocaine because I refuse to believe in the snow in late March.

For the first time I understood what foreigners thought of us when I was 13 years old. I went to the motorcycle salon with my uncle, and of course I wanted to take a photo on the protective bikes. The administrator girl was at first opposed, and after the uncle said that I am from Russia, she did not allow me to be photographed, she also gave a firm bandana, a bunch of calendars of lunches, candy and other things. It seemed offensive, but the gangster was offensive.

Before yesterday, the child tried to enlarge the painting on the wall, dividing the fingers on it.

From the English language textbook for children "English for little ones":
Have you ever seen a mad dog?
Yes I have. Our dog went mad last summer.
What did you do with it?
We killed it.

Silent_Spectator: Watched the abundance of groups created VKontakte with horror realized that soon many of them can become parties