Man, you will laugh.
I laugh at you, what did you do?
All of you will laugh at my grass.

Diet is evil. I didn’t think my brain would reject it so soon. I got a wet towel. I hold in hand. And I carefully study the packaging in search of calorie information.

A: Take the hash - you will learn ))))
E: Yeah, and walk with him in the rain.
A: How is it!
A: In the cold too.
A is 37? He is Pofig! Fuck him!

I go to the store to meet a guy. The boy climbs and falls. He stands up, shakes away and, seeing our shocked faces, says: "Be careful, it’s slippery here."

I sit in the department, two police officers (C) are sitting in the office. A cleaner enters the office without knocking.
Is there any rubbish in the office?
C is two!

Here you go to work in the morning, where you have been working for more than 10 years, and the constant feeling: "Ba! Everyone has their back!"

The grandmother covers the preachers:
We are Orthodox and we do not need your Jehovah.

The Ministry of Internal Affairs of the Novosibirsk region that this morning in the city of Kuibyshev a local farmer brought a bunch of debris on a tractor and rolled it out in front of the office of Sberbank in protest. A bunch of rubbish the Siberian supplemented with posters: “Down credit slavery” and “Bankers – enemies of the people”. Police found no grounds for the arrest of the farmer.

Who is there, Barrymore?
Anti-Maidan and Sir
What they want?
The Maidan in Moscow, Sir
The Maidan in Moscow?
No sir
So why are they angry?
Fucking sir

I work as an optometrist in optics - I check my vision. One translates and the other translates. According to the refractor, I see that I am completely blind, showing the tenth line. There are many clients, so that I do not take the time to go immediately to the translator, because the patient does not understand my words, "call the top?" The first speaks something in his native language, the translator answers "yes" I clarify "what, yes"Speaks "yes, he does not know the letters"What to do... Include a children's table with butterflies and ships. I say "namely, the top line" Well, the matter went well. Everything is smaller and smaller. It calls. Strange I think. He named it all, and the printing showed great shortcomings. I ask "and then why did you come to check the vision?"And then the translator gives me with a strong accent, "well, why, he doesn't see the necklace! If it wasn’t for me, we’t have told you anything.

...And it would be good to add the 14th paragraph to the memorandum:
The Parties undertake to compensate the citizens of Russia and Ukraine for all costs associated with spent time, lost profit and moral damage incurred as a result of the need to constantly monitor the development of artificially created events.

Be men, instead of cheering what you are not given, and looking for reasons for it, just shake.

I go to work today. Arcadich is wasting matte on matte. Discuss, therefore, the novel and film "50 Shades of Grey"
What is the book and the movie about?
Do you not watch the telecast?
I don’t have a TV.
This is another "Great American Tragedy". He’s a major, she’s a prostitute, she loves him, and he’s happy with everything... Well, and the tragedy...
I-Pogody, that’s a beautiful lady...Julia Roberts, and it all ended up with a heepiend...
He is yes. "Beautiful" of course. He doesn’t fuck her, he fuck her. It starts fucking. And yes, really "Beautiful".

Discuss on the news forum that Samsung TVs can intercept the owner and transmit information to third-party services:

xxx: This is a very strange situation when you need to think about how much you trust your TV and what topics you are willing to discuss with it!
YYY: And in what case he will testify against you in court.

A gift is for the soul, but can the soul want a dishwasher? You will also say that you will be happy on March 8 wallpapers and a pack of glue. What about CHO? It is time to remove the walls. No is! I will give my wife a new sewing machine. My wife sows and loves it very much. Who likes to wash and dust?
-
My soul swirls like she wants a dishwasher. And a dust washer. Because I don’t like washing dishes and floors, yes.
No, there’s just a multiplayer already :)

Do not go so far. My grandmother was from Novgorod province (born in 1901). So I appreciated the wealth of her language I could only when I started to learn English.

I don’t remember at all, but the fact that in Russian was past-perfect confused me! This is how she said: "Nicolas was a stranger yesterday".

If everyone shares the thoughts of Greys, my first association is a portrait of Dorian.

What I wish you 😉

I am looking for a job, unsuccessfully. Falling into disappointment, I already look at non-profile vacancies, where there is an opportunity to learn, such as "assistant". On request issued at once 23 vacancies "assistant dentist". I complain to a friend: "Yes, I agree, but, I fear, customers will be against!" She is slightly surprised: "Why then....? After all, as a political scientist, you should know how to speak your teeth!!!!"A proven type of anesthesia - a spoon on the ears!

The beginning of the change in the cafe, sleeping fit the stand, behind the bar, an Estonian employee:
I: Please make a coffee.
E: Odiyin Kooffe He looks at me with condemnation.

Borges and soup.
She moved from Chelyabinsk to Krasnodar. 99% of the population share these concepts. At my question, what is the fundamental difference and why borscht is not a soup, they are surprised to say: well, how? Borst is with vegetables, and soup with crops or macarons.
O_O