bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №94352
 23.02.2014
Randoman: I sometimes died in a dream, and it was pretty scary and... unpleasant... difficult to describe those feelings. But the dream was more interesting, sadly only remembered the essence. In short, in a dream I was already a field of death, and, I know it strangely, there were people, but they were not people, that is, as if they were already dead, but somehow alive. You can say souls, but they looked like people. No one could talk to anyone. They just stood quietly waiting... waiting for a single computer to be released. And then someone next approached and compiled his "cell". It is like preparing for rebirth. In the cell it was necessary to set up a neural network, the main events something else, short your fate, and who you will be in general (very interesting - the saturation of your life with pleasant events, and unpleasant too, completely depended on your imagination, as if you could even write miracles). But the trick is that the computer is an old one, constantly grumbling and making mistakes that the compilation failed. And then they were offered a choice: try to run the cell or repeat the compilation. But nobody was able to compile without mistakes, and what happened, they started. That’s all I remember...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №94351
 23.02.2014
aaa:There is a Samsung vocabulary professional, there is an instruction in English, who can help translate? Around half an hour, the rest will be agreed, you need urgently.

BBB: Post a photo of interested posts.

ccc:Tech translation 1200 rubles / letter in any language center.

ddd: The recording button is red.


[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №94350
 23.02.2014
Here is the address of the person who can solve all your problems: 127.0.0.1.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №94349
 23.02.2014
From comments after the biathlon stage:

LR 22 February 2014 at 19:47
Well, the biathletes will shoot the hockeys.)

PKot 22 February 2014 at 19:48
But given the 8 additional bullets will be forced to torture.)))

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №94348
 23.02.2014
here here :
Strugatsky did not read, I watched the films on them, which were filmed. Lust and boredom. I probably won’t read.
_______________________________________________________

No, all is right. With this level of logical thinking, it is useless to read them.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №94347
 23.02.2014
In Dnipropetrovsk for six hours try to remove the monument to Lenin. There are wounded.

Today I see the news in Kiev:

The cursed Lenin once again reached out and again killed half the population of the European Horde. Russia is to blame.

If there were a monument to Stalin, I would have killed everyone.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №94346
 23.02.2014
The bullshit, the instrument of the proletariat, has not changed. It is quite possible to expect in Moscow to refuse to mount the pavements with tiles and return to asphalting. The asphalt is hard to break into pieces, and the killing power of it is terrible."

Again, our deer is breeding, so wait for reports about the benefits and profitability of asphalt compared to tiles.

[ + 38 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №94345
 23.02.2014
Democracy on the ship is called rebellion.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №94344
 23.02.2014
While there is a tireless struggle between the “Nutupi” and the “Watniks”, a simple American man brought Russia up to JVA of gold in the snowdowns (the first gold in history). Love is stronger than politics :)

[ + 46 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №94343
 23.02.2014
The neighbors are uncomfortable.
There the family lives, and I seem to coexist with them, I hear every sneezing, coughing and other intimate details. Reality show and audio.
And behind the wall, where my bed is, is the bedroom, a 14-year-old boy. Sometimes I cried and talked on the phone.
I: And behind the wall a teenager during puberty. What shit he’s listening to. very loudly. This is called Russian rap.
Teenager behind the wall: What would you understand!
I’m sorry...
Since then, we’ve been smiling each other every day "could it be quieter?"—because I’m calling Trophy out loud—to stifle family life, and the teenager is rap. Whether I get used to it or I don’t know. We have never seen each other, but we do not like each other. The movie decided to reconsider. has included. The voice of the translator: "The Sixth Sense".
He is a ghost!!! to
I’m burning in hell!! to
(Snowledge of Snow)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №94342
 23.02.2014
Sales women lower the price of all non-sold.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №94341
 23.02.2014
My friend moved into a new apartment in the same new house. The apartment, think, a concrete box - nothing at all. I found through friends a good repairman (in all hands of the master), and he took up the business. Everything from water to tapestry.
When the last day arrived (it was already a stunning, shining apartment), and Uncle Petya (Sasha, Vanya, Dima) already got the fee, and gathered home, my friend asks him: "Do you want... e-e-e... that... to mark the case?" He loudly and, somewhat sadly, breathed, and whispered, "No, sorry, I can't - I have not been drinking for ten years," "What is it?“My friend wondered. He breathed up again and said, “You understand, some time ago we and friends sat down to celebrate the New Year. Long before the beginning. Furthermore, I don't remember much - I only remember that we went for the supplement all the time... And here, we go out for a dose. Something made me look at whether the air was something else, whether the sounds, the devil knows. Looked around. And around the grass grows green, the sun shines, the laurel with the spring... the leaves disappear. And we are standing in thistles... When it was over, we were so crazy that no one has been drinking since then.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №94340
 23.02.2014
We need our hockey players to be shot by Russian biathletes. Like a punishment. Everyone will stay alive.

[ + 31 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №94339
 23.02.2014
The ring and stamp in the passport are needed so that in case of separation, we do not stay on the street, but divide the joint property in half. Here, a friend's husband (already a former) drove her out of the apartment bought for the common money. Then they came and put him in a loaf. :)
And don’t joke that a man earns for everything, not everyone does.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №94338
 23.02.2014
To this...
Chok: "Goodly packed in hoffrotar"
It became scary. New foreign words.
Over: "Songs by Sophia Vhofrotaru"
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Drunk today with the men "Vgofrotar"

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №94337
 23.02.2014
I press the cat, in an attack of humility, turning to the cat, shout:
Why do I love you so much, my asshole?! to
Because I am not imitating. - My boyfriend gives with applomb, distracting himself for a second from the comp.
You will not argue...)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №94336
 23.02.2014
Imagine, our male biathletes took the gold in the squad!
WOW: You are what? Probably these wrong-handed partisans were fired from the Germans. Do you know who is in second place?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah...
WOW: Well who?
Yes the Germans!! to

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №94335
 23.02.2014
Obama challenged two boxes of beer to the Canadian prime minister. They argued whose hockey teams would win. Canadian national teams, male and female, made Americans in matches. Two boxes from here.
YYY : Oh Not only does America have a $15 trillion public debt, but there are also two beer boxes on top.
Yyy: Obama will have to declare default.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №94334
 23.02.2014
The Western Bicycles. A resident of a German town (20 thousand inhabitants) last year told me in secret - why they cling big. It turns out, the Germans have this type of belief: as soon as the Russians or Poles appear in the city - climb big, do not leave things in the basket and start using unnecessary previously car signaling. Yes, it was a shame to hear this, but the truth is nowhere to go - for the second month of our group's stay there was a TV, a bunch of auto parts and a car from a supermarket. And the Poles often wandered home, having in the trunk four pieces of stock - different firms and calibers. Well, in major cities, the role of such a thief’s scare is performed by Arabs, Turks and, strangely enough, Gypsies :)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №94333
 23.02.2014
16 year old son, looking for a job in advertising, ask for work experience.
- Ownership of office glue at a professional level, knowledge of standard entry codes and good physical health to escape from a grateful audience? and :)

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