bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 147 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44692
 19.03.2011
I remember when I was a kid, there were times.
Constantly hanging out on the street in the winter, fucking drive out, ride from the mountains on sandwiches, there was a lot of people, fun.
I remember how the boys pulled a hose of water from the house to pour the slide carefully in front of the entrance, then played hockey, riding, tried to make PA on skis...
In the summer, they climbed the buildings, fought the house, played the Cossacks-robbers, the girls jumped through the jumpers, the rubber.
The boys fought in the district - in the district, established territories :-)
I played badminton, my grandfather played table tennis.
They smoked cigarettes behind the house and tried to smoke them ridiculously, laughed at the passers, throwing water bombs into them.
The girls flogged the shovels and bands, laughed at us wet after the water shooting.
The boys played soccer, in a siffo, dressed up, played fantasy, walked in the basements, in kindergartens, made tubes and plunged them with paper rackets.

And now what?? Solitary walking pensioners with their barely pumping and barely writing white boots, some garages, cars, melting snow, gray sky, outgoing guests from basements, dead from the morning drunk boots, broken children's playgrounds with alkas.

You will go out and die... no soul... Where are all the children? Where is the people? Where is the cry, the fun, the positive, the life?
Everything, fucking, on the internet, in counter strikes, in social media, in TVs, in debilo-multiks, in mobile phones.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №44691
 19.03.2011
What do I not like about my wife?
Xhh: And you’ve ever had this situation: on the first floor there’s a weak smell of hot water, and you already think it’s yours, on the sixth, again prepared dinner?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №44690
 19.03.2011
In old age, one validol remains from heart friends.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №44689
 19.03.2011
I told a friend who works at the polling station.
They hung a list of candidates, with the tags "Member of the party of the KPRF", "Member of the party of the ER" etc. The commission came, told to rewrite the word "member" from a small letter.
Picture of oil:
A man sits, rearranges lists, gives a phone call...

and yes?
–...
Remove the comments.
–...
I am changing a big member for a small one.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №44688
 19.03.2011
A regular client of a public house, opening his door at two o’clock at night, heard:
Where are you going, cattle?! to

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №44687
 19.03.2011
Friends, I’m sorry for the off-top, but I don’t have the strength anymore!
To the girl who wrote: "Comrades culinary and sexual slave owners! Leave your contacts."
How much I’ve been waiting for you!) Aska: 4nol3-two55-4nol5.
Forget it, spring is spring! Thank you and good luck to you all!)

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №44686
 19.03.2011
PhimGor (15:55:57 18/03/2011)
In the office there was,
Gender comes out of the toilet roast, grit "who in the toilet in the bowl his socks thrown" the girls are silent, men turn off, I am silent typically me "Stas and maybe yours...I" not my -they are small I measured))))"...work got up finally)))

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №44685
 19.03.2011
I will take, I will go, sex, sexual, culinary, food, slavery, guarantee, three times, for, in.

This year’s "Spring" be surprised.

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №44684
 19.03.2011
I want a family. Tired of everything. I want to marry
Come on, take the tanna.
me: and who will I not tell - all, shit, rjut, type "ahahaahaah, you and get married? That fucking? You are still a child"
Bro: and Hule
Me: I am about it.
Should children not get married? You already have 24.
me: and they start with me "so this is a responsible business, there must be care"
Brother of Ahahah. Take care of the hamster. My wife will find food for her.
me: fucking, my tamogoi lasted for 3 months - I am the embodiment of care!

[ + 119 - ] Comment quote №44683
 19.03.2011
We have a new admin-only after the universe, the eyelids are barely growing.

The first call to the accounting office, the headmaster (aunt for a half-hour) quarrels with someone on the phone, and here comes he...

What happened, who to repair?
What are you going to do, milk?
Do you need to repair the computer or suck out the milk?

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №44682
 19.03.2011
I work as an administrator and information protection engineer in the clinic. Now I change the painting film in the fax in the accounting office, I look at it in the light and see the letters of the printed documents. I am showing a (g) laugh.
I: As an information protection engineer, I have to...
Q: to eat it?

[ + 92 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44681
 19.03.2011
A real case from the life of my friend taxi driver, with his words:
I am called for another order, I come to this address, and there are 3 girls aged 18-20, sitting in my car. They say we go through the store, we want to get stuck... on the way to the store, I understand that I want to get stuck very hard! As soon as they go to the store, the girls go out and go to the store, I immediately break away from the place and a couple of circles around the store and in this very wild pear, I get rid of the sick! The sounds were very wild and unimaginable, 10 minutes... I rushed back to the store, I got out of the car, I stood smoking, I think I swallowed with a drill to ventilate a taxi, I went off, I smoked and here two girls-clients came out of the store and approached the car. We sit in the car, and here I ask "and what the third is not driving??" to what I sucked from the rear seat behind the driver a gentle voice "and I didn’t go anywhere and did not go out.........." o_O!?!?!?! to

[ + 65 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44680
 19.03.2011
Men, in the courtyard of spring, hormones play, judging by requests to take into sexual slavery. Do not hesitate, get to meet the girls in the subway / electric buses / on the street. They really suffer from a lack of sex!)

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №44679
 19.03.2011
The lecturer now:
You’re twice as many at lectures today as you were at lectures on Monday.
And thoughtfully continues.
That says about my observation.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №44678
 19.03.2011
We go on a ride, we go on a ride =)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
YYY: No okay, we went!

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №44677
 19.03.2011
On one of the forums noticed one job in which the organization is looking for an illustrator designer. The following are the requirements, and even below the conditions:
The Interview
Testing task
The trial period
Official registration after the test period
Excellent working team
Excellent library of books on design, advertising, etc. (There is even a collection of Esquire magazines for several years)
Sandwiches for breakfast.
In good weather, you can go to the roof and sunbath.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №44676
 19.03.2011
Katze North: Well, the crap, the shit, the humorists...
Katze North: I wonder how to understand the inscription "made three years before the date indicated on the packaging"??? to

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №44675
 19.03.2011
Sister and mother discuss something fiercely. At the same time, the sister listened to Bach. and pretending. When you listen to your mother, it adds the sound of the music. When the mother is no longer heard, the mother cries:
Do you think I’m not going to scream? I scream!!! to
It is filled with a terrible cough. I am going to find out all liver order. Mom responds with a chilling voice... not even a voice, a whisper like: "not screaming."
P.S I put my voice in for a few days.)
YY: Fear the Great Bach

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №44674
 19.03.2011
Mother: Why did you come home today without a bowl? Have you fought with girls?! to

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №44673
 18.03.2011
The program "The burden" on the first channel of the zombies delighted us with the fact that in Russia begins a new, third phase of liberalization of punishments for economic crimes of businessmen. President Medvedev, explaining the essence of what is happening, began with the expression “Our criminal policy...”
Imho is better not to say.

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