The Customs Union has banned the import and sale of circular trousers!

The comments:

Yuu: The synthetics in which eggs are parched are prohibited.
zzz: I didn’t know that the owners of eggs wear circular trousers...

Explanation and physical joke:

I once told a girl about the stars. It was great because she didn’t understand anything. Until I asked if there were green stars.

It seems that by temperature the spectrum should pass through all colors, but in stars for some reason only the main sequence - brown, red, yellow, huge red, blue, white, neutron, quartz, black hole.

> I have been thinking for years. Probably, there are no elements on the surface emitting in the green spectrum. On top, hydrogen and helium are mostly green, I don’t even remember what can radiate.

The narrator apparently did not understand the girl anymore. Neutron stars and black holes in no way belong to the main sequence, they are the final stages of the evolution of stars. The star's radiation spectrum, except for small particles, is a heated black body spectrum and does not depend on the star's chemical composition. And the spectrum of that black body is a smooth curve: in cold stars most of the energy falls on "red", in hot ones - on "blue", and in something like our Sun - just on "green" (but in the sum we perceive its color as white).

The promised joke:

Two physicists meet in the winter. One to another and says:
You have a nose! It is 720 nanometers.
So so small?
and no. such red

Lisa, give me a cup of tea, please. My feet are frozen.
Do you put it on your feet?

I listened to the first students:
There is an island named after the programming language.

The xxx:
It turns out, to move on to the "you" with an unfamiliar woman, who is also older than you, is easier when she, without looking in the mirrors, leaving the back, enters your ass in the front buffer :)

In Kazakhstan, it is forbidden to sell circular trousers!
y: I imagine the situation: you take off the girl's pants, and she has family members on her knees.)))

I have a friend who is an electrician. And so he thought of how to assemble his "Planchette". It consisted of parts of the LCD monitor, there was a netbook charge and several batteries. Instead of the mouse, a touchpad and a screen keyboard to enter text. My assurances in the need for the keyboard he ignored and here one time downloading a program it jumped out of him in the entire screen without the possibility of closing, after rebooting the desktop appeared for a second and then this program appeared again. But my friend did not discourage - after removing the cooling he heated the charge with a dryer so that the computer started to brake properly and while the program was loaded from the auto-start line he had time to remove it.

and Matan. First class after the holidays. The student at the board long thought about what to do with the integral.
Prepod pronounces :"I offer..."
A loud voice from the audience reflectively "Toast!"
The bed)

We open http://translate.google.com we enter:.............. we press “Listen”. Other lovely melodies:

1) 1112..$$$..$$$..$$$$..£44..$$$..$$$..$$$$..£44.

O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O

Ror Ror Ror Ror Ror Ror Ror



Make your song!

When I don't see anyone, nobody sees me - normal thoughts for a man with cowards on his head

From Habr:

I fear that humanity is evolving on the example of alcoholic bacteria: to eat all the sugar out of the bowl, to sweat everything around it with alcohol, and to suck up the entire population. But unlike those bacteria, humanity has no neighboring bank for divorce.

xxx: fucking, from the morning of the neighboring office wild female screams, as if someone is being killed
XHHH: It turned out, only forever broadcasting curling

xxx: immediately remembers the former, when when I met I tried to drink her, and she me. the result 2 is inadequate at the end of the evening))))))

Improvement of emergency services by introducing paid calls.
I have a friend - an ambulance doctor, so here she told me about her calls, and one of the " funny":
Coming to the family husband and wife (aged 30 years) pregnant with normal stomach already. The husband complains that the eggs hurt, he naturally the first question: "When was the last time?" - "how did they know that she was pregnant", well, accordingly he and indicated the ways of treatment: wife or hand. He: "My mother told me that it was bad, I will not, and my wife is not so educated." - "Now what do you want from the ambulance?" - "Now do something, I am sick!"
So, as long as such idiots, even if 100% law-obedient will spend time on the ambulance, considering them actually prostitutes, you will not have the ambulance to come.

From Habr, from the comments under the article on how marketers cheat buyers:

Hey, and I remembered the old joke, how my colleague — being a young specialist in the aviation research institute — came to receive in the warehouse of the label alcohol ethyl refined in the amount of five kilograms.
As a young engineer, she calculated the volume of material and took a five-liter canister and a bottle.
The warehouser poured a canister on her and closed the suit. My colleague asked for a share. The warehouse owner didn't run for a long time, had to turn to the management.
It resulted in a scandal of all-institutional scale, because for the entire historical period, alcohol was bought and written down in kilograms, and issued in liters :) :) :)

The Spring. In the courtyard on the bush of the wreath: “Crape-cranium. And under the bush – the chicken, thoughtfully so, about itself: “Co-co-co-co-bones... Co-co-bones...” And by a row the pigeon walks through the yard, unleashing the tail, and sings: “U-umm-ri, u-um-ri!”

So much silver won.
This is for winning hockey.
HHH: How is it?
UUU: Judges some in hockey just sparkle
They need to put in silver.
Q: Per it is an asshole?
WOW: Maybe, but right in the heart and right through the ass.

comments to news from OI'14, Russia-USA:
In the moving gates to throw more difficult - you need to record two goals for one shot.

The cinema. The movie "Robocop" The moment when the protagonist comes to himself, he realizes that almost nothing remains from him and now he is a machine. He escapes from the laboratory and breaks into the neighboring hall, where dozens and dozens of identical people of small height in masks and uniforms work. All the inscriptions are hieroglyphs.

The voice from the back rows: "Fuck! And this is what the Chinese gathered...."

The conversation of a husband and wife sitting on a diet at 3 p.m.
I have sinned, I have eaten yogurt.
The young man! You have to eat when you want. I wanted yogurt – I ate yogurt!
I wanted a chocolate...