bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №61613
 20.03.2012
Women often say that what men think is what they have between their legs.
Then it’s clear why women don’t think at all.
The depth of the thinking of women for men is simply unattainable.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №61612
 20.03.2012
GreenHedgehog: For example, I am amazed by how she defines colors. I say to her, this barrel is green, she is not blue, I’m going to compromise, it’s the colour of the sea wave. He says he is blue and nibble. Well, I think – we’ll take her away from this wicked belief.
inf.pl: how does it happen?
GreenHedgehog: Really bought a blue bench, but less comfortable. That is, the calculation was such that now she would have to call things by their names – one blue, the other green.
inf.pl: The female mind cannot be conducted by this approach.
GreenHedgehog: Yes, my experienced friend. Now we have two bars, one blue, and the other blue, but the other, and powerlessness blows my eyes when I try to imagine what kind of bars I still need to buy to get out of this vicious circle.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №61611
 20.03.2012
Rk: the beginning of the first, metro Novogirevo. In the car, a nice girl and I. We sit in front of each other, closer or less. The girl, it is worth noting, itself is like a fairy - long light hair, all so airy, with huge blue eyes. He looks at me with a light half-smile. Suddenly, he gets out of his large, flower-spread bag, a bottle of 1.5 hunting strong, drinks, blissfully grumbles, drinks more.
I thought I would die. From the breaking consciousness

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №61610
 20.03.2012
My super-original man brought me snowflakes. He didn’t buy it, he didn’t crush it, he didn’t crush it :)))

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №61609
 20.03.2012
XXX: What are you doing?
I am preparing for Matthew.
XXX: What is the topic?
yyy: "Integrals or how to lower your self-esteem"

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №61608
 20.03.2012
The driver burned:
[10:07:15] GENERAL: when Dasha left her taxi driver says you need to go to the ATM
[10:07:48] GENERAL: and the taxi driver replied when I usually take away from here, he gives them the money for a taxi)
[10:10:05] I: It’s time to change the taxi service

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №61607
 20.03.2012
I go to the subway, I read a book "Train going to Hell", at the stop a guy asks:"An interesting book?". And I am so strictly"What a book, this is an instruction".So there was almost half a car of the people back broken.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №61606
 20.03.2012
A female hysteria is an explanation of female intuition through female logic.

[ + 29 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №61605
 20.03.2012
We have such a street in the city, it so symbolically stands in a row: Internet cafe, pharmacy, sex shop, wedding salon :D

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №61604
 20.03.2012
Bagira: Rom, that’s why when you’re sitting behind a notebook... you have Ubuntu flying, and I’m having constant bug reports and even loading over time?
Romeo: I think you justify your nick Bag by name IRA)))

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №61603
 20.03.2012
N: And why are these sweets wrapped in such a scratching paper? I can hear the whole apartment how I lose weight. ?

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №61602
 20.03.2012
XX: You have jumped years, and yet there are no girls! While you play online for 24 hours, all normal girls will find out!
YY: Who will find out? They still play...

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №61601
 20.03.2012
I remember, I used to chant at Mosfilm at the post, bring and give. We filmed the bed scene once on a glass table, so the operator thought of shooting it from below, and we and our partner were instructed to keep this table on weight. A couple of times we were reminded how much this camera costs and how many years we will have to pay it if we drop the table... and forward - a pair on the table will stand unnaturally, the operator below sits like a perverse, and we hold this table on the weight and try not to roast.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №61600
 20.03.2012
The Spring A-A
When I was a kid, I loved to jump and scale the ice that was washed by streams on the roads. Sometimes it was outrageous when the weight lacked on especially thick ice.
And now I'm a big uncle and I'm happy to crush the ice with my car's wheels.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №61599
 20.03.2012
Tonight before
three hours exhausted what the fountain flung out of the toilet
and pardon. There was not water from there, but a thick brown, but not it, but cabbage.
of soil, roots, foam and grounded leaves of hemp. some
The cannabis farmers dropped their plantation into the toilet and flooded 6 apartments.
The library. The scale impressed even sanitary technicians: two barrels only in
to our entrance.
They called the police, two fronts came, they said they were in
organic drugs are not understood, tomorrow will come the district and will
well is. The district did not come.
These are the cakes :-)

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №61598
 20.03.2012
iDvs: RPC approved the re-release of Alexander Pushkin's fairy tale "About the pop and about his worker Balda" in the edition of Vasily Zhukovsky, who replaced the main character from the pop to the merchant.
Gimli: There was a merchant
Gimli: Tolokonny... a fucker?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №61597
 20.03.2012
A man forgives and forgets everything, a woman forgives, but she will remember all her life.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №61596
 20.03.2012
I told the man who drove me home.

2 years ago in Peter the asphalt was placed on the Civil Prospectus. Naturally, no one thought about logistical flows, so it was unimaginable not even in the sense of traffic jams, but the understanding that it is not understandable how to get there. I go to the house at 10 p.m. and I understand that all the timepieces are sending me as far away from the goal as possible and here as the evil in the back has been linked to the haishna machine... Well I think the bastards — they wait when I break and they want to cut money, so after another unsuccessful attempt to turn there where I have to stop, I get out of the car... The haishna also stopped... I get courage and I approach them and say:
Do you know how to get out of here?
I get the answer:
- You understand - we have been riding for 20 minutes, we thought you were local and followed you - hoped you would get out of here!

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №61595
 20.03.2012
Oh, our great and powerful Russian language, in which the same letters in the same order mean completely different things! Here for example:
for the affair.
And wild me, go to me.
You will get sick while you are treated.
We are married and we are “you”.
You are a child, you are a child.
Unfortunate things carry different things.
He will have to get his wife.
I have to wait, I have to give...

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №61594
 20.03.2012
Yesterday I burned to delight me orally. In the back of the television was the difficult child second. The moment when Junior’s father clings to the nurse at school and turns to the little one with the words “Wait, Junior, it seems my clot has started to grow again.” My whispered, looked at me curiously and continued. I only got to 10 seconds later, but I got to tears. After that, my hips just started to fall. And it fell five times, because as soon as it got up, my unseen, with a pretense of astonishment, told me that it seemed like your clot had begun to grow again.
Good spring to all.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna