bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №94032
 16.02.2014
Normal parents are simply obliged to do so that the child does not feel worse than others!

My sister and I were all jealous. We had the most fun holidays, the best competitions and costumes for the New Year and Birthdays, family table games in the evenings, nightmares, pirate parties at the fire, we knew most of all the puzzles and spells, and even built a real house on a tree with our parents. We were envious even of those who had branded jeans and the first in the area video magnetophone. But the crude piece of us, I remember, did not worry.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №94031
 16.02.2014
Helping the suffering:
_____
I hate this "You can't delete the file, the file is occupied". What does the fox do? Building the Chinese Wall? Does the fifth division solve the equation?
and----
Under the screw there is a wonderful Unlocker program - it adds to the context menu (right-click on any file) to find out what "work", or rather what process or application it is currently operating, after which the third click "remove" the file from the process.

The program is small and free.

Use with caution.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №94030
 16.02.2014
I say to my wife:
Today I had another dream with your participation.
My life with you is your life, my dear.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №94029
 16.02.2014
X: I should have put it somewhere.
YYY: You will have a very sad family life with such a motto...

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №94028
 16.02.2014
In this difficult time, some people can be loved just because they don’t post food on Instagram.

[ + 35 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №94027
 16.02.2014
The medical five copies to the debate about Plushchenko:
He was stunned after the jump! For those who have never even had osteochondrosis, it is very, very painful. Most likely - a crack of the spine or a shift of metal pieces attaching this spine itself. There is a risk of paralysis for a moment. Fuck the forest, he’s going to go to bed again, and you’re the right time, not the right time. by Tifou.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №94026
 15.02.2014
>The wallet is hard to close for the evening

I also got paid half a salary.

[ + 31 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №94025
 15.02.2014
Review of the film Robocop

Why is he not shot in his mouth?

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №94024
 15.02.2014
Reminds me of something?
Symptoms of hobbit. Stereotypical grimase, in which the lips of the patient protrude into a tube. It varies in severity and duration (from a few seconds to spastic retention of the grimace for a long time). Possible small scale. (abortive hobbot) and partial manifestations, when only one lip protrudes (Sukharebsky L.M., 1966) Observed in catatonic schizophrenia.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №94023
 15.02.2014
Nevertheless, on Titub the most adhesive of the videos "film in 5 seconds" - Titanic:

This ship cannot sink!! to
The bulk!

:D

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №94022
 15.02.2014
We collected metal at school. One day, we collected "cotton" from a neighboring kindergarten :D We then forced it back to relate it ))))

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №94021
 15.02.2014
In these of your internets, Omsk is the capital of the Norcomans. And if you think, then Omsk is the capital of resistance.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №94020
 15.02.2014
I sit in my office and I don’t touch anyone. The door is opened, a guy with a notepad and a broken bouquet of roses rolls in, swirls with a notepad and asks:
Are you Svetlana?
by Ophigete! I am really Svetlana! I’m the only one on the floor, I know. I start to get up, shining, like after the atomic explosion, the pipe has already pulled, thinking what kind of husband is a pipe. And here is the guy, scratching again with the notebook:
What floor is this? The sixth?
P... C, comrades!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №94019
 15.02.2014
to this:
The Chinese lunar rover Yutu began to show signs of life.
After the battle with the American moonwalker...
and...
The two Soviet moonboats finally waited for the third.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №94018
 15.02.2014
My husband is not yet 30, and I buy the batteries in "girl happiness" regularly, because he struggles to fulfill his marital duty a few times a week (we will not be better about the quality). At work he is not tired, eats regularly and varied, there are no claims to the appearance, the living space allows. What to do - I don't mind, but the future worries me.

Batteries - a remnant of the past, here will be a couple of sets of batteries with a charger. Or "friend" with a built-in battery. It will be unnecessary to try to discuss this delicate issue with your husband. If at first everything was normal, and the amount of joy suddenly decreased –, part of the joy goes to the left. And it is up to you to decide how to compensate for the lack of love in life. Happy Day of the Lovers!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №94017
 15.02.2014
What statement should be written in order to be allowed to participate in philosophy seminars drunk?

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №94016
 15.02.2014
Something I don’t understand about fifty kinds of sex. And they do not confuse gender with sexual orientation and sexual addictions. If a man is fucking another man, he is still a man; if a man is fucking another man, horse, dog, or robot, he is still a man. So sex, as I think, is still two. But in the field of “sexual addictions” there are 50 options. And there should be no choice and several thousand bars with different types.

In my opinion so.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №94015
 15.02.2014
a: there are some children aged 10, look at the window... "oh, swens! Oh, muline" fucking, I didn’t know at their age and words like that! She sat down and killed a duck in a dendy.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №94014
 15.02.2014
But I wonder, where is their glorious Greenpeace?
As for our artwork, please.
The giraffe is not protected.

Onishchenko was not dismissed on time. Or he would popularly explain that when a giraffe is killed, the dairy products exported by Denmark to Russia are drastically spoiled.

[ + 27 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №94013
 15.02.2014
Hi, I do not have a quote, but thanks: when I am bored at work, in the transportation, when I do not want to read books, listen to music, when you can't fall asleep and want to drive away thoughts about urgent affairs and get distracted, I read your site and every time the mood becomes better :)
Please one. make a night version of the site, which could be switched to a black background, as in readers on the phone

and ***

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna