bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №156042
 24.03.2021
Simple Americans – Ilya Dmitrievich Medvedev, Ekaterina Sergeevna Lavrova, Anastasia Vitalevna Churkina, Alexander Viktorovich Vekselberg, Svetlana Vasilievna Horkina, Anastasia Vyacheslavovna Fetisova and many others – are outraged by Biden’s words about Putin.

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №156041
 24.03.2021
xxx:)) I am not very fucking, and my face is ugly at all. For beautiful eyes in this life nothing got, because there are no such beautiful eyes) At 17-20 could still catch attention for the sake of youth just, and then generally as cut off. I am of the class of gray mice, who themselves graze their nuts as they can (without ambiguity), and sometimes I like it. And I’m a little upset that many girls get everything on the plate just so, well or not quite so, but not for many years of study. But feminism has nothing to do with it, nobody offends the ugly woman with their tastes. Instead, they put beautiful in a privileged position. by Imho.



Yyy: Congratulations, you know how an average guy feels.



xxx: Not quite, I can always touch women's breasts without demand.



YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I have forgotten. and sad :)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №156040
 23.03.2021
The yellow precipitation falls due to the stable and constant sleep in the sea. This point must be taken into account in the process of calculating pure sea salt.



The volume of water in the Black Sea is 555,000 cubic meters. by km. Or 5, 55 x 10^17 liters.

The volume of urine released by an adult person per day is an average of 1.5 liters.

That is, in order for the percentage of urine in the sea to be some significant value (say, 0, 1%), a person should suck in the sea for a day 4 x 10^13 degrees.

Population of the earth 7, 8 x 10^9.

That is, the entire population of the earth must continuously suck in the Black Sea for 10,000 days (27 years).



zzz: You underestimate the resorts))

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №156039
 23.03.2021
Called a taxi to work in the morning, in the comments indicated that it is not worth to go to the courtyard, because it is not to unfold and a hole at all. I go out and watch my car drive into the yard. Stopping near my entrance, I sit down, clarify that it is not necessary to unfold here because the hole - we will get stuck, give back. No is. With the words: "Don't sit down, now we'll turn around, I'm behind the lamb for 10 years!" The driver enters the hole and gets stuck there.

After 15 minutes we left in another car.

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №156038
 23.03.2021
The difference between steakflow and forums is colossal.



Imagine that you are not good at carpentry, but you needed to make a bookshelf. You decided to make it wood. Why did you need to connect, actually, the boards.

You’ve heard/read somewhere that boards can be connected with nails. However, how exactly this is done you do not know.



And here you went to stewardflow, and there someone has asked that.

And the most popular answer is: “A nail in a tree can be hit with a hammer. The nail must be held - yes, the hammer - yes, you must beat this way. “Don’t bite your finger.”

You do as it is written - and voila. The book box is ready.



At this time, another of you, from a parallel universe, came into the forum. And they wrote there: “Yes, I want to make a bookshelf. There are boards and nails. How should I be?”

Half of the answers may not even be read. There will be something like, “What fool are you?” How can you not know?!”

Another three or four wise men will write, “Here is a two thousand-page guide to the carpenter. Study »



Somewhere the fifth commentary will be without insults and indulgence. In it, a good guy will say to you, “Are you nailed? Take the screws. They are better.”

How to use the screws, of course, he will not specify. But another forumman will react to his comment, calling the lover of screws a ballbuster, because everyone knows that nails are much more convenient. After that, they will go with their heads into a personal mess about nails and screws.



The sixth comment will be about the fact that the wooden shelf is fine - and it is better to make metal. This opens up another useless discussion on the topic of wood vs metal.

The seventh is advertising. Where you will be advised to buy a ready-made shelf for a ridiculous price.

This comment will be deleted by the moderator.



The eighth commentator will advise you to put it on the shelf and make a bookcase. It is simply enough to have a set of boards, metal loops, glass doors, a set of cartridges, a screwdriver and another fifteen unfamiliar words. Here is Instruction. It is true in Finnish, but in the pictures it is clear.

This will be the most blatant comment.



The ninth guy will be the most responsive. He will advocate for you, reminding others that carpenters are not born. That is not worth calling, and all when they were newcomers. In other words, you have to be kind.

Not a word about the nails.



Finally the 10th. It is the most useful and it is the most useful. In it someone registered ten minutes ago will write that he himself faced a similar problem. He didn’t get the milk out, so he struck his nails with oatmeal. This is so. Picture in painting.

[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №156037
 23.03.2021
Xxx: Everything you need to learn:

For just 1000 rubles she will have 100,500 professional photos from the studio.

- You write to all photographers and "photographers" that there are a lot of pissed bodies for posing and for just 3000 rubles you can fulfill your portfolio with studio photos.

You write in a photo studio that in just a day of free rental and 5,000 rubles about their studio will learn almost all the photographers of the city.

- you call the mentorship and say that for just 10,000 rubles you will give the address of the porn studio and the bordell in one bottle

- you call the local TV channel and say that for just 20,000 rubles you will give away the place and time where the mints will attack the protons.

- you call lawyers and say that for a small hashtag you will shed the place and time where a bunch of clients with cases that are not really to lose are sharply formed.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №156036
 23.03.2021
Every theorist’s dream is to put his theory into practice. The desire of any practitioner is to stay away from these vicious theorists.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №156035
 23.03.2021
Horses and Horses

I live alone, on a PMJ in the country, in a fairly deep suburb of Moscow, so it happened... I work remotely.

There are some retirees around, and those are mostly when there is no snow. And suddenly, last summer, a couple of apartments from me, a family with children (three) bought a house. They are also going to live on PMJ (which prompted them to this, a separate story, but still not mine, and it has nothing to do with the matter). I admit honestly - I was restrainedly happy, though some people around + Light and Lech (names changed) - approximately my age, will be at least someone to talk to.

When they arrived, he helped to pull large equipment into the house a couple of times. Then I was invited to the shelter. Then I had to unload the fuel for the boiler - called Lecha, he came, helped. Then I invited them all to the chess :)

In the summer we went fishing and for mushrooms together. and fun! I’ve always tried to keep a reasonable distance – they’re a family, anyway. I will call, I will come. I have my own business and entertainment. He did not refuse to help them, but he helped them a few times. That is idylly!

Last week, my sister asked me to take them with my husband to the airport. Long time not seen, and my beloved sister, in general, agreed. Giving us small, as they say, the earth will be filled with rumors :) I met Leha with Svetya on the street, they ask, can I not throw them to Moscow, since I am still going? They go to a family holiday, leave the car at home because of the upcoming flooding. It was so good that I went too. They are back in a taxi. It will be more fun on the road. But I immediately indicate: relatives are taken to the airport, leave strictly at 7 a.m. (since otherwise the risk of being late for departure). I say to them, "I open the gates at seven, you stand waiting for me, ready. Sit down and go. Okay?” They say, “No problem, wait until tomorrow.“”

The next day, at 7 in the morning, I open the door. There is no one. I call her, her phones are turned off. A small reserve of time was, I sat in the car, I approached their house - broke a couple of times - the windows are dark. Well, little... Time pushes me up. I go away.

In general, yesterday (two days have passed since the events described) they both stopped and arranged a scandal. I did not expect them. That I had to wait for them because they have children. They spent on a taxi. While waiting for a taxi, the kids were frozen. They were late for the party. I don’t want to pay for a taxi. To confess, I was so upset that I didn't even send them immediately, first stood and knocked my eyes for half a minute.

I sit here, I drink a cup, and I think it was.? to

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №156034
 23.03.2021
"Yagmothers" usually have children from "apples"

[ + 42 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №156033
 23.03.2021
Do you know where the crazy people come from? The last year with a small I live in the center of my beloved St. Petersburg in the old-fashioned house, and also on the second floor. Previously, cats were kept in the apartment and the sharp mouse was not a problem, but it was worth the apartment to stand a little empty, as the cat smell, apparently, went out, and the mice began to get in the warehouse.



After a day of panic, all the gaps were sealed, the traps with mouse glue dismantled. In the morning, a small mouse was found in one of the traps. She clung to a cardboard smashed with glue. To get rid of the uninvited guest faster, I took her in pyjamas to the washing room near the house. I put the trap in the garbage tank, but the mouse was sorry. She clinged, can't get free, and I decided to cut her stick from the cardboard.



Picture of oil. 9 o’clock in the morning, winter. A girl in pyjamas is forged with a stick in a garbage tank on the street. A heart-sick woman approached me and asked, “Girl, what are you doing?” To which I replied without thinking back, “I caught a mouse, look!”



And the woman ran, first in the whole slope, then just a quick step without turning. I then shouted, “I’m not crazy!”



Forgive me woman.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №156032
 22.03.2021
XXX: Don’t go out. In my youth I was loved and admired by ladies. But Seiko wasn’t out of the word. How can we be friends... We met one and unique, 30 years together. Scandal, ran away and here it is me butt and pierced. For a year I communicated with everyone from youth, and to a bunch that is generally moving around...All their time)))

by p.s More beautiful crocodile.



YYY: I was also loved and admired by ladies in my youth. Then I went to school and it was over.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №156031
 22.03.2021
A country where people who earn their lives naked on the Internet are considered to be successful,
Sooner or later you will get in the ass.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №156030
 22.03.2021
Late in the evening, taxi

- And here, you understand... whatever I will do - everything is not right for her, - twisting in a journey, a next passenger tells me the story of his life.
Carlisle is hanging! The nail that was struck is not in that place. Even if we’re in the car – not in that lane! And so in everything!! I am always dissatisfied!! Always criticized it.
misery – misery
- And then he started to lay the laminate, so she stood up over me, controlled me, and at some point began to scream that I was doing everything wrong again, picked up the laminate and started laying it!! to
Yes, the problem, I am breathing.
That is not the problem!! The problem is that she really puts the laminate well!!!! to

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №156029
 22.03.2021
Nabiullina explained inflation by the excess of money in the Russians.
The names of these Russians are published by Forbes.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №156028
 21.03.2021
In the game, all the rules are simple and understandable, and most importantly, transparent and honest. In life, a reader on a reader, a donor on a donor.



YYY: Where is Donat that? All currency is domestic, earned on quests. Or lucky to get into the guild, and here, of course, the currency is better prepared, and the guild quests are more interesting.



xxx: Yes, but only somebody in this world will fuck a zero level, and somebody has a VIP account.



zzz: There are no VIP accounts here.



1) There are random fractions. Whoever is lucky and is born in a successful world, whoever is not in a poor world, is in a poor world.

Change is possible, but difficult. Everyone has their own language, documents and so on.

You can move to another without it. But it’s not the fact that you won’t be sent back. Yes, the quests in this case will be shit.



2) Characteristics are randomly distributed. Who is lucky and has a lot invested in his intelligence from birth, who is in strength and bodybuilding.

If desired, it can be removed. Most people have no desire.

Because fucking in the sports hall or reading books. It’s harder than a couple of clicks.



3) Starting capital is randomly given. It is only your choice where to invest it. Or in new skins or in self-development and point 2. In production and trade.



In fact, the only problem here is that any action is more difficult.

In order to point the skill, you do not need to click the mouse for half a day. A few years to study and a lot of books to read.

Whatever to do. For example, to scrape a knife that can be sold for a lot of money, you do not need to scrape the mouse. And fuck the hammer at the real boiler, in the heat. He has been studying for several years.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №156027
 21.03.2021
I finished high school and a few years later went there in class 8 to study my cousin (the names are the same with us). And suddenly started getting pairs in Geography. on a permanent basis. Mom began to do lessons with her, chasing for knowledge: she seems to know everything. The situation is getting worse with the estimates. They called the director: she said, "the last chance, control work, no so no." On this control sister appeared with her mother, whom the geography teacher, whispering with her heart, let go to the last party. The work is done and immediately checked by her geographer - she writes everything red, takes out 2, cuts and breaks leaves and accompanies the family with speech. Mom picked up the broken leaves and folded. He reads what is written. It is right there! No one mistake! Do you know what happened? This teacher, a graduate of this high school (my year or a little younger), was in love with my boyfriend from that same high school, wanted his attention and was upset that he was “running after me.” Fuck and get revenge. Revenge in the Second Generation

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №156026
 21.03.2021
What do students do on rainy Friday nights? is correct. They go home to their village. This evening was no exception. Although Saturday and promised to be more interesting than usual, because my mother's brother will come to visit us, i.e. Uncle, whom I will see “alive” for the first time, but now – as usual. Three hours of talking on the bus, running up the stairs to the third floor, opening the door, taking off my jacket, stretching the button on my pants and shouting, “Hello Mom! I’m getting rid of it!” I broke into the toilet. And from there the uncle comes out and says, “Oh, hello, pelmeška! I just made you warm.” He pits me into the toilet. So we met.



P.S My uncle was a long-distance driver. I arrived before, and I was not told a surprise.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №156025
 21.03.2021
A few more years of the same "optimization" of medicine, and in the shopping centers will not only be carried out vaccination, but also all kinds of outpatient surgical operations.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №156024
 21.03.2021
In the Rus region since the Soviet times there was a small hydroelectric power plant, feeding nearby villages. Now, of course, for the Moscow region, this is a drop in the sea, and the local authorities decided to make another, but there is simply no other suitable river. Therefore, the project was ordered for several lags: a mine 90 m deep, where water falls, the bottom of a turbine with a generator that gives current to the network, and at the same time feeds the pump that pumps the water back - up. Coincidentally, our neighbor, a well-known engineer, was talking. He squeezed slightly and said about "perpetuum mobile". The foreign words did not understand, he said, “This is the eternal engine.”
- Well not eternal, you need to lubricate bearings, change brushes.
Have you heard of the law of energy conservation?
Is it federal or regional law?
Hearing that it was not a Russian law at all, the engineer was kicked out so as not to spoil the atmosphere.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №156023
 21.03.2021
U.S. President Joe Biden has postponed a number of sanctions against Russia because they have already been introduced by Roskomnadzor.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna