bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №93852
 12.02.2014
It was the beginning of the nineties and we were happy.

My childhood was in the early 70s, and... you won’t believe it.)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №93851
 12.02.2014
Where is your cat now?? to
There was somewhere... and you why?
Please bring it urgently!! Please Please Please
O O O O O O
The girl on Skype will talk to me now!!! I have such an image for her. I put the books of the smart on the back and I want to hold the cat on my arms and glasses like Freeman.
WOW: and nothing that you see well, you have not read the books of Nihua and you have an allergy to cats? and :)
Tagged with: pofig
WOW: and suddenly from my puffy and lazy you will start crying and droplets on the monitor)))))
XHH: We’re talking about her creativity, she’s painting, I’ll say it’s me from the excess of feelings!

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №93850
 12.02.2014
The reporter at the exit from the cinema, after the premiere:
A few words about the movie please?
The spectator:
Is it rare to go on the telecast?
Yes of course!
This is a rare... kitsch.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №93849
 12.02.2014
My wife wrote: "It was still fun. I call the organization, I say so call it. I was told who I was and asked to wait. Well, I wait and hear in the background someone talking unclearly. Then they pick up the phone again and say, “You know, she says she’s gone. Can I give her something?"

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №93848
 12.02.2014
xxx: behind the wall, in the neighboring office sex shop is opened from the first day
The competitors have been sent, stop!
XXX: That is good.
YYY: So to say, they bet

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №93847
 12.02.2014
But nobody was confused that in the live broadcast of the opening of the Olympics, the spectators saw the unopened snowflake for a couple of seconds, and then immediately went the record from the rehearsal, at which everything with these rings was OK. That is, they are prepared! Because they knew in advance!

You can also talk about server interruptors and dual system duplication in space ships. This is a conspiracy! A conspiracy of precautionary ones that are insured in advance.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №93846
 12.02.2014
The case was so:
I live alone. Winter session, evening, tomorrow exam. I need to sleep. I turn off the cell phone, the home phone and the doorbell so that I don’t wake up, I go to bed.
I woke up with an incomprehensible sound. I try to understand what and where. The sound repeats. and again. and again. Strikes on the balcony. from outside.
Here is the picture: the winter, the hour of the night and in silence the deaf strikes outside on the glazed balcony on the fifth floor. The strokes are ten with a frequency of about two seconds, then about a minute pause and again strokes. was presented?

The puzzle was this: a friend overwhelmed the lady, and they urgently needed a place to stay overnight. Without getting to me by standard methods, he slipped onto the roof (there is a crack there), glued the snow on the roof and threw it into my balcony. According to him, I did not react to the single ones, and he began to glue them in bands and throw them, respectively, in rows.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №93845
 12.02.2014
News from one news site:

As a result of the raid on the appearance of schoolchildren found “blue girl”, “haired boy” and “allipist students”. It is such formulations are present in the official document, the photo of which has become a real "hit" of social networks.

According to the document, the only hairy boy from the entire liceum is taught at 7th, students 5b, 6b, 8a and 9a look "alapisto", in 10a three girls are "lochma", and in 11b there is one "blue girl". What was meant by this definition is not specified.

HH: This is not news. When I was in school, there were hairy punks and alcoholic girls in my school too.)

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №93844
 12.02.2014
My cat once stumbled onto a sloth on the floor (the sloth itself in the wrong place never does - he is a decent young man) and decided to clean up. It is unpleasant for him to enter the water. What he did for this: unwrapped the toilet paper, ripped off the piece and carried it to the pit. There, he broke this paper into small pieces and covered the hole with them. The problem is solved - the legs are now dry and comfortable.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №93843
 12.02.2014
Some officials are trying to ban computer games, I was in the army there generally teaching to kill and give out combat weapons.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №93842
 12.02.2014
Discussion of a photo of a bunch of loops on a short section of the road.
I wonder why do you need twelve houses in such a small area?
Braille marking for blind drivers.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №93841
 12.02.2014
Message from Skype:

"...You can make video calls (and not only) from your tablet or smartphone simply and for free*..."

Note: a fee may be charged

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №93840
 12.02.2014
Alexey, good day
And now, on the plasma portal, a hydrocylinder has failed.

Good day.
It sounds like a fantastic book.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №93839
 12.02.2014
Mitwell's answer to the accusations is that his dissertation (number two) is simply sperm:

Oleg Lvivich replied that no, he did not steal, but simply accidentally remembered the strangers. This is the peculiarity of my memory, Oleg Lvivich Mitwell said. I have read a lot of other people’s dissertations on the topic that interests me, and a lot has been left in my head. And from there it came on paper - in this order. What can I do?"

From the post of S. Parchomenko, "Echo of Moscow".

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №93838
 12.02.2014
The article on the mail entitled "The dismissed from the car car was called to collect the BMW" - is very encouraging.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №93837
 12.02.2014
Today in the subway. Two moderately subordinate characters of the proletarian kind:
Just like him, Lucy.
What kind of Luke?
Oh shit...
Of course, is it an obudsman?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №93836
 12.02.2014

Alexander is
And why was there no joke about the fact that when the fifth ring was not opened, the rings were compressed and the organizers of the opening of the Olympics?

Evgeny
Maybe because they don’t joke about the dead.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №93835
 12.02.2014
Purchased Rahat Lukum Azovsky, and he in sugar powder (who bought. He knows).
I am a content manager. I cater to colleagues.
The director has important guests, a meeting. He passes and shows all the departments.
Open the box and dissolve the sugar powder.
Polina, you’re all in cocaine!! to
She (crying and screaming) - I am all in cocaine!! to

In this moment the director and other important people come in.
Deer – And this is our marketing department, go on...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №93834
 11.02.2014
I am a cyberpunk! I fight the system.
Is it operational?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №93833
 11.02.2014
I went to the store for a square, I saw nothing more useful, I stood at the box office. The saleswoman with such a smart look: - Do you prepare for 23?))))

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