bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 88 - ] Comment quote №22918
 25.11.2009
Our worshippers bring me into a state of tearful humiliation. I return home at night - two guys of uncertain appearance fit:
There are no cigarettes?
No, but what about you?
One of them makes a strange face and – attention! It extends me almost a full package of Kent.
Rushed to the house.)

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №22917
 25.11.2009
I read today on my website:

Your site has been attacked by hackers who are maliciously outside the scope of our PAH (Hacker Protection Unit). We will close your site until the internal investigation of the cause of the fire at the fire extinguisher warehouse where the equipment for servicing this site was located has been completed. We suspect that hackers and firefighters are in the same OPG that has connections with our PAH. When the investigation reaches its apogee, we will send you an account for the fire extinguishers burned during the hacking of your site. Possible a deal. If the damage is reimbursed in full, you receive a drum washed without a single nail from one of the burned fire extinguishers. Send a text message to the number 2474 with the following text: "ماعية و تيينمل ;لأعيان " and get a gift of Arabic-Jewish interpretative speaker. The more SMS, the more explicit the speaker.
With respect, Red Hat Windows-X administrator.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №22916
 25.11.2009
Fourry: Sitting two fingers at once... until bleeding
Cut a bowl of cat food.
Don’t let God be so hungry :(

[ + 155 - ] Comment quote №22915
 25.11.2009
The evening. The whole family at home. We sit in different rooms. I am preparing for the seminar behind the comp, my father is working behind the comp, my brother is playing for another comp, and my mother is lying and resting.
Then the silence is broken by my loud whisper and after 10 seconds the aska flashes. I opened:
The Father (21:29:55 24/11/2009)
be healthy

Brotherhood (21:30:07 24/11/2009)
be be!

I’ve gotten a message from my mom and I’ve gotten a message from my mom:"be healthy, baby"

Fuck, they are completely broken.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №22914
 25.11.2009
Coconut is the only plant that produces seminal fluid (scientifically endosperm).
xxx: I seem to understand why coconut "haired"...

[ + 102 - ] Comment quote №22913
 25.11.2009
Mother (having picked up a handful of female hair in my room): Is that anything?
Let me know you, Olga.

[ + 67 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №22912
 25.11.2009
In a past life, Captain Evidence was a woman, and he was called Iron Logic.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №22911
 25.11.2009
xxx: was in the kimrams today in this building office
XX: Talking to the Chief
xxx: I think your character "slightly fucking" does not fully reflect the entire individuality of her character

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №22910
 25.11.2009
Damn, I don’t take the exam, I don’t even care about girls.
It’s easier to pass the exam than a girl.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №22909
 25.11.2009
diamond-lost (20:05:50 23/11/2009)
ŴƱDŽǂǁƾƪƫƛƒȜɄɆɇȠȡɤɎɏɯɰɱɻʡʝʚʭˁ

Diamond Lost
Oh yeah yeah? 😉

Diamond Lost
But that’s not all 😉 I’m going to swear on you.)

Diamond Lost
ϡϠϟϱϴϖΔΞϛϫѾ

Diamond Lost
The last symbol contains all the power of this spell)))))

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №22908
 25.11.2009
Hi, I have a problem. Around the blanket on the wing the paint slightly swelled. Could be?
Are you cutting the slang?
Idiot, I am a girl! The fool!
Basil: This is because of the habit, we, the men of the slang (any one), including on the raft, shower!!!! to
Basil: And you got gasoline on the paint wall

[ + 65 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №22907
 25.11.2009
xxx: how to warm up and make the junkyards in the cold??? and :-/
by Napalm!

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №22906
 25.11.2009
Krishna @: Hi!!! Let us communicate! If you don’t want to, just send me three letters)))))
Walk with Peace...

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №22905
 25.11.2009
Chapel
What is funny (or shameful) in the phrase?
Chapel
Yesterday I sunbathed in the solarium, Olya called me and said you are where, and I am just lying sunbathing... I tell her I am lying and I am cheered here from all sides.

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №22904
 25.11.2009
Saburo: We will all die
Ponf: in 2012?)
Tagged with: AGA
Ponf: I passed the fallout 7 times, I will survive >.<

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №22903
 25.11.2009
Justice is what you believe in until you face the authorities.

[ + 55 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №22902
 25.11.2009
Meet in our depths of Culibina: Edison is nervously smoking!
We have one such – Igor is another type! Unresolved technical problems for him do not exist, in principle. A long time ago, he made aerosans, a motodeltaplane and a boiler. I decided to get on a helicopter.
Sikorsky is fucking. It should be noted that Igor's basic education is 10 classes of high school (it is terrible to think what he would have invented after graduating from a technical university), and the helicopter is not a grass-cutting machine for you, so the manufacture of a screwdriver took quite a long time.
The finished product strongly resembled the ash from "Kin-Zha-Zha". To the fact that the device managed to get up in the air, no one was surprised, we are already accustomed to the fact that everything works for Igor. One problem was drawn: the helicopter hangs in the air, and does not want to fly forward. Igor fought over the decision for two weeks, then came to the conclusion that the first wheel is necessary, well, in the sense, you need to push the car, it will fly! It was said - done: the helicopter for a long cord was attached to the "Uazik", the steering was placed on Seregu and clearly and unequivocally instructed: when the car takes off, it must speed up to forty kilometers and slow down "At that breeze".
After that, Igor pulls off the thread and flies into the blue...
The picture is that! On the field of the "Wazik" stone, behind him on a long rope talks a hanging ashes. At that breeze, the car brakes sharply, the helicopter flies forward at the length of the wire, and, according to the first law of dynamics, it crumbles at the ground (Igorek, shrouded by free flight, forgot to pull off the rope).
Numerous passengers, overtaking each other, rushed to the aircraft crash site. In front of them, from under the smoky debris came out a whole and unharmed Igor in a cracked motorcycle helmet.
and Igor! Are you alive? Was the carabine spelled? Why not disappear?
- Yes, before me, when I took off, it came to me that the angle of the attack of the blade was variable.
I have to do, the details started to think about and forgot that the wire needs to be cut off!
Our people are not defeated!

[ + 28 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №22901
 25.11.2009
A 40-year-old colleague met a girl. Mache is thirty-five years old and she is very bad for herself. Kola is fat, lazy and eye-catching. today is
Cole is visiting Masha for the first time. On the way, Cole goes into the store to buy champagne and vodka. At the condom window, Cole stops in deep thoughtfulness. Rich life experience suggests that if he buys condoms, then something will necessarily happen and there will be no sex, and if you do not buy condoms, then Masha will definitely pull him to bed, but without condoms will not give. Colla falls into catatonia.

At this time, Masha stands in front of the mirror and decides whether to shave her legs or not to shave. Rich life experience suggests that if she breaks her legs, then something will necessarily happen and there will be no sex, and if the legs are not shaved, then everything will go great and the matter will go into intimacy, but the girl's honor will not allow her to go to bed with unshaken legs. Masha has a brain.

The question is, how do these two wicked ones go together?

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №22900
 25.11.2009
Yesterday, the European Union’s gas coordination group met in Brussels, and the main issue on the agenda is preparedness for winter.

“Simply striking, as literally by two rubber movements (in 2006 and 2009). Russia exported to Europe the domestic communal tradition of preparation for winter,” the authors add.

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №22899
 25.11.2009
<Rainman> Blind, because of this dumb butt, the head splits
<Darkduck> take aspirin, drink with vodka and drink with cocaine.
<Darkduck> this will definitely help you ;)
<Rainman> I am still in the universe, by the way
<Rainman> where can I get aspirin here? :o)

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