Half of the officials must share camouflages and send them into the forest.

And not to send rescuers, but hunters.

zzz: Then not camouflage, but orange vests with reflectors)

And not in the forest, but along the wall to build.

A girlfriend took her younger son from the kindergarten. The teacher warned of the questionable influence of the elderly (in the 11th grade) on the younger, telling about testing. The children were given the task of picking an anthony to the word stupid. Her (friends) son replied stubbornly: to the word dumb Anton - the wise. Even after raising questions in the form of showing pictures with knives, he never gave up and insisted on his own.

I drove in a new friend’s car yesterday.

We sit down, touch, rejoice in the silence in the cabin, the dynamics of the drive. We will find out how.



I touch the seats. I am I, my friend D

Am I an Alcatraz?

D is yes.

Then proudly

D is a very expensive material - skin twisted.

I – who said?

Explained in the salon. They said that it is more expensive than ordinary skin because not every skin can be turned out.

I (opening the Internet) - "Alcantar is a finishing material. It is also known as artificial shrinkage. Alcantar is made of polyester and polyurethane fibers, and is a synthetic analogue of zamsh.



Increased silence

D (within a few minutes) - it seemed like I was thrown out in the salon.

A few years ago I was in an interview. A girl came to us immediately after the institute to the post of secretary. Our staff started collecting her papers.

You have a higher economic education. In our company there is a job close to your specialty. Maybe you want to try yourself in this position.

and no. thank you. I want to be a secretary.

But why? Your salary is 30% higher and you will be able to grow. Still, a secretary is a position that does not imply career and professional growth.

The girl turned red and whispered with a quiet voice.

You know, I am not very smart. I was very difficult to study at the institute and I am afraid that I will simply not be able to fulfill the responsibilities related to the education received.

I don’t know how this girl looked at the staff and management. As a result, she was taken to the post of secretary and began to slowly load her duties on specialty. A couple of years later, when she learned a little, she was transferred to one of the departments where she worked for many years in a regular position.

And yes, she did not deceive and very objectively assessed her level of intellectual abilities. Although they were enough to perform the standard cyclical duties at the ordinary post, sometimes it burned out so that I just couldn’t believe the person wasn’t joking.

The comrade told me. I recently came to the boss for an urgent call. The head of a serious enterprise, pretty cool on decisions. Because he who holds on to his place tries not to anger him. I talked quickly with a colleague on the doorstep. Molly, what is he calling? It is cloudy, it is talking, it is sitting, it is asking everyone - who is whining. No one confesses. Comrade only shouldered his shoulders - he personally was at all to the point whether the bosses knew about his love of alcohol or not. His direction developed successfully, everything went as it should and even better. Here he comes to the boss. that :

Do you drink alcohol?

Who doesn’t drink!

It looks like we have one. What exactly do you drink?

Everything that burns! After all, he is not drunk at work, but what he spends his free time - the bosses should not be touched.

Oh... well that’s good. I had an Armenian cognac in my closet, brought by Siberians during the visit. And I have all this where - health is not that, doctors forbade drinking. Take it yourself!

Even the ferries cannot afford to walk a horse.

Recently, two weeks ago, a not the most pleasant story happened to my girlfriend.
She married a year ago. With eyes opened by happiness. Then she lived with her, not suffering from home. She studied at the university (we were group members), he worked not know who, but they had enough. Such a pleasant, calm life. I don’t even remember they were fighting.
The words of a friend.
The action takes place two weeks ago.
Senya, a colleague, told me yesterday that I was no longer the one I was before. That family life is ruining my beautiful young body, and I am constantly baby. I didn't even take this into account at first, he likes the ugliness just to say so, and then I thought about it. And the truth is, from the dances left, the load is little, you have to do yourself. I found on the Internet a complex of "a-la slimness for 5 minutes a day" and started. There you need to do the plank several times, from which I because of the carpet (which, by the way, my husband's aunt gave us for the wedding) on the elbows are printed. Then I go to work in a shirt. is ugly. Who knew that these Rombians would serve me such a service.
I did a little and forgot about it.
After a while, I get up at home, and a neighbor comes down to meet me. I tell her, say, when you get the money back (she borrowed 500 rubles for two days, and more than a month has passed).
She, of course, insisted, but I insisted and we went home to her. When she took off her jacket, I almost stumbled. On her elbows are robberies. Fucking rubies from our blanket.
What fucking thing did she go down to her floor? I could hardly wait until she gave the money, the bullet escaped. I get up, and there is a man in one of his trousers. Hello to you, sweet. I passed apart, I say, go and shake the carpet, or it is dusty. He complained, but he went. As I walked, I picked up his pieces and put them in the entrance. At the top of the note, who was fucking on this carpet, let it fall. He did not even argue. I filed for divorce.
P.S And for those 500 rubles I bought a beer to Sen, a colleague. Without him, I would have lived with a cowboy.

The Federal Antimonopoly Service proposes to remove Google and Apple products from all smartphones and replace them with Russian developments. I strongly support the FAS, as should be removed from all Mercedes officials and replace them with Russian developments, Lada Kalina for example.

I have lived in a big city recently. A cousin and his wife came to see how it was arranged, like a new apartment. I sit in the kitchen and drink tea.

Brother (B): A very good apartment. What do you like most about her?

I: - The windows go out to the courtyard, so it is very quiet here: no one is making noise under the windows.

B: What’s on the other side of the house?

I am a cemetery.

B (after a second pause): Well, there is no particular noise for anyone.

We sat today with a girl in a cafe, at a neighboring table two men aged 30-35 with two children, boys aged 3-4. The boys run around the hall, in principle, they do not interfere. We tried, calculated, I stopped at the table, I catch up with the girl at the exit, from the tambour the door opens one of the little ones, holds, says to the girl, "Please go through." I think, what an educated guy, I go out after a girl holding the door, I say, “Go through now, young man.” He replied, “I don’t need to go through, get tired.”

I was in the bus with a group of students (class 7-8) headed by a teacher. The boys entertained the most beautiful girl all the way, she pleased to go on the whole bus, so that the teacher couldn’t stand and said to her: “Masha, I didn’t think I would ever say this, but please knock on the phone again!!!”

Erotic clothes with AliExpress. It is beautiful and sexy only in pictures. Like a girlfriend burned to buy something like that, circular and erotic. And I what? I am just for. I chose for a long time and eventually dropped the link. I liked it and paid for it. There are also “expectations” and “realities”. It came, took it, gave it to a friend. I explain, I bought a fuck which is like a combination, only twisted and black. Remember, it looked cool on the photo. Only here I notice such a thing, she is not in a hurry to demonstrate. I’m afraid I’ll suddenly get overwhelmed ? At the end of the day, I ask, why did you buy it? She said, look, I asked for it. She went, dressed and came in. In general, we had no sex this night, we roasted long and hysterically. They came to the conclusion that if you wear avosca, it will be more sexy

Nothing distracts men so much as attractive women.

The 90s. I work in the evening school. It’s called “adult school,” but the audience I have this time is mainly boys from Central America (Guatemala, El Salvador, Nicaragua). They are somewhere from fifteen to twenty with a tail. Most of them were orphans after the Civil War. We try not to notice their age - we need attendance. As in any school, this is a problem.
Working with them well. The boys are polite and ceremonial, like Spanish grands. (It’s true, sometimes they’re trying to flirt with me – but that’s culture.) Discipline in the classroom is somewhat unrealistic – they just don’t breathe. They try with all their strength. One problem is that most are semi-literate, illiterate or illiterate at all. Well, and I for what? Let us do what we can. But I am tired. Oh! The call. The change.
I am back in 15 minutes. Yes is. early to rejoice. A class struggle. Two are fighting. It is true that they have time to breathe - but I have already had time to see. Fuck, we have to react. I honestly don’t see dramas – well, we fought, it happens. But my boss thinks differently. We, you understand, should in every way advocate for “non-violent conflict resolution” – “non-conflict... thyfu!” Only, it means, to conjure, quietly, gently, affectionately, and morbidly - none. Go and explain to them that not all conflicts... okay, you have to deal with them. I carefully depict the pedagogical fainting and begin to ask questions:
What happened here?
The boys are silent. They are silent, by the way. I understand them well. I remember from my childhood that explaining to an adult "why they fought" is a matter of turmoil and most often hopeless. These adults don’t want to listen. Per this is a matter of honor.
Well, and anyway?
They push each other. One cannot stand:
There was a delicate situation between the two men. It says, “A delicate situation between two men.”) is
I am delighted with the formulation. Men at fifteen - no, this seems to be sixteen. But they are men, men, of course men! God let me doubt! I thought it was a matter of honor. Everything is understandable. From pure hooliganism, I decide to squeeze them a little. A bit of:
Could you be a little more detailed?
It can! The second is going up, this gentleman did not behave like a cabalero!
Oh well, it is clear. The honor of the lady. There will be no more details.
“Well, so yes, Caballeros,” I say, committing a small official crime, “the next time you have a delicate situation, make sure I don’t see it. clearly?
The boys laughed calmly:
“Oh, sir, we’ll go out to the yard.
Not in the courtyard, I clarify, but on the street, over the fence. Let the police work, not the school. understandably?
“Master,” suddenly asks the older one, “do you have sons?”
“My daughters have,” I scream, “but they’re fighting too.
And I get an overwhelming compliment:
You could do it with your sons too. Like my mother. She has seven sons.
“Seven sons!” I think, with some horror, “This is probably not my mom, but a general.”
Well guys, sit down here. So much time lost. We continue. In the last lesson...
I continue. I am sad for something. I have no children, I have not done anything in my life. I will never understand men. Hope for grandchildren.

Are there medicines in the city?
For whom and for whom is the medicine...

A friend had to overturn a complex metal profile. He tried on his own – it didn’t work. He was a cabinet worker all his life. I spent a couple of hours and I arrived. I put a thin drill for the beginning, and on small turns I will give stronger.



He has two daughters, 6 and 9 years old. They ask, “Where are you working?”

I understood their question so much that they wanted to understand why I was dealing with a problem that was impossible for their father.

I replied to them that I now work with their dad, and before there were a variety of jobs, including a carrier, a carrier, a carpenter, and a teacher of labor...

The girls listened carefully, and the elderly asked, "Did you be driven out everywhere?"

Time to throw stones, time to wear a helmet.

A smart provider
Like every self-respecting Jew who has two synagogues, I have two providers.
One is for the soul, with the other I will not sit on one hectare.
It all started quite trivially.
New construction, we are not interested in large providers, there is some small thing of blurred, district scale.
Ura! We have INE! And the TV! Even a pirate video!
For this video we forgiven him all - and constant breaks of communication, and the lack of supportive support.
But our gastro-builders constantly hired his equipment and he went bankrupt. Sadness and sadness...
He inherited 2com. Well, to be honest, we didn’t know if we love 2com. Larger providers began to enter the area and we, neighbors, began to scatter from 2com, shark... Well, there is no videoteka - neither pirate nor ordinary.
And then it turned out that each operator has his own cuts.

The MGTS. Good, kind company, worthy support, I do not dispute.
Unfortunately, I could not understand the interface of their TV. No one in the family could. Neither were the neighbors in the area. Per we are a Daun family. Our neighbors are the same.

by Bilal. A few days before I signed the contract, I was fucked up for one unworking smartphone and $100 for additional services. I decided not to continue the cooperation.

and onlime. The technician arrived. I turn, and he is not. Well I think good! He didn’t even say goodbye, but he already connects. Oh well! He has gone at all.
After an hour, I call the support, I ask - I can't find something of your technique, is everything okay with it? And I am so surprised - but he left you, your halls are closed.
I wonder what the halls have to do with it? It turns out, I was forgotten to warn that all the inter-apartment halls above should be open.
Damn the question! I’ll open up tomorrow afternoon.
The technician arrived. I turn, and he is not. Well I think good! I didn’t even say hello...
Do you think I am joking? No is. I call the tech support, they tell me that the halls should be opened from the bottom, not from above.
My question is, I’m persistent. and opened. I call.
- Can you call us back in three weeks, after the New Year holidays?
The Massacre!! Go to the fucking!! Will my family listen to the radio?

by Netbyne. I call and look forward to being sent back. Open the halls.
Surprisingly, the halls do not need to open. The next day, two men came, spoke for 10 minutes, asked where I would have a "working" room, threw the wire there, signed a contract, asked to pay and removed.
Tifu-tfu-tfu – I can’t rejoice in them. For the past time I called the tech support once, at three o’clock at night, and I was even answered, and even polite, and even helped solve one stupid question (my crush was). The user’s dream.
Neighbors also smashed this dream and the flow towards Netbaynet began to increase.

The MFC behaved decently. Called 1-2 times to clarify whether the user does not really want to be a user? He told me how to get the equipment back and all that. But not online!
Onlaym spams the entire micro-region 2-4 times a month by phone. You go along the road - you see that the person is white, in red spots and rattles the phone - 100% communicates with Online.

OnLine does not give up. At the beginning of the week, all NetBayNet users in the micro-area fall network. It exists, but there is no access to the internet. The calls to the support service begin, the support service as always sets and postpones deadlines, sets new and again postpones. The accident...
We are a new building. We are friendly. Everyone on the forum sprinkled their home networks. Poor, but there is a connection. Day, second and third.
Netanyahu surrendered and did the right thing. “Ladies and gentlemen, your UK has disconnected us from the power supply and does not allow our specialists to enter the facility.”
We are going to the UK. We know that we love sex. First we catch our own neighbor, who works in the UK.
She tells an interesting story. Onlaym pouches a small penny in the UK, and it breaks out a stick or what is there with the provider from his boxes. Then he just doesn’t let go. And does not give explanations.
Yes the main. These days there is massive spam 1-2 times a day on all the phones from Onlaym with explanations of what we are bad, and even when you swear by their mother that they did not surrender to you and you wait for their provider, asking in the apartment "just to protest." It was the third day, I thought. They occupied a local bar and thought...
Yes, it is good that we are new builders and friends. and drunk. On the morning of the fourth day to open the door of the UK could only bulldozer, pulling three cubic meters of garbage. We spent the whole night with our neighbors, and I am proud of us! They pulled home, knelt at neighbors, broke and crawled in the garbage pipes.
Yes, the clothes are easier and the same, but the effect? I am especially proud of a guy who did not regret painting on metal. The windows have to be changed.
An hour and a half after the start of the working day, Inet was there.
Thank you for online. Helped to find a lever of pressure on the UK and other issues.

I go to work in the subway, I get to him by the non-permeable dirt.
My deputy comes in the car of the latest model from his cozy cottage on the shore of the bay with a personal gardener and a gardener.
I pay a tax to the city treasury and a quarter fee for cleaning the territory.
My member is involved in sharing that money.
My deputy urges me to go to the Lenin Saturday to clean up all the annual garbage, so that there is nothing to do next year.
Vladimir Ilyich, do we not confuse anything in your vows?

For paid medicine, a recovering person is like a fish jumping from a hook.