In the early 1970s, in the unit where my father served, Major Kornev was the head of staff. Among his duties was the organization of regular journeys in some purely military affairs of the automobile to the nearby city. This happened a couple of times a week.



In the city wanted to come and officer wives, so for these trips assigned civil transport of increased passenger capacity. The departure of the car from the unit was to take place at eight zero, but the officer wives were an undisciplined contingent and in fact the car left much later.



I remember myself - you were sitting in the car with your mother, and the ladies stretched one by one along the track, or they were still staying on that track, stuck with their tongues. In general, it is good if at half nine the car from part off. And Major Kornev looks at this ugliness from the window of the headquarters and in his interior all the contents boil. He spoke separately with these wives, and in the women’s council partly raised the question.



In general, one day he appointed himself the chief of the car and waiting for a magical time of eight hours zero minutes zero seconds commanded the driver - we leave!

Oh yeah! The wives were shouting that they had time to get into the car - this is Manya and Anya ten steps away from us, and Glasha and Dasha wanted to go today!

The Pooher! “Major,” he said, “you have an army here, not somewhere there. We went!

And the car went off, and Masha and Glasha were left to scratch their eyes on the track. Upon returning to the part, Major Kornev said that from today he plans to execute older cars for violating the schedule and do not give god again someone will wait.



From that time until ten eight, all the departing people were sitting flat in the car and waiting for departure.

xxx: I first met my uncle when he came to visit us 10-12 years ago. It happened that I was in the toilet when he came into our house. He comes in and asks from the threshold, where is his favorite nephew?

He is in the toilet. responded to him.

After that, he confidently steps to the toilet and pulls the door pen. Naturally locked up. It is like a burst:

Andrew, the door is closed! Don’t be afraid, I’ll take you out!

Let’s break in the door. I have never had a brighter first impression of dating again.

I am 32 years old, but I was still in kindergarten. We had a teacher, Ludmila Konstantinovna, as far as I remember. When one of the children hooliganized, she never screamed and especially did not raise her hand, but preferred to be ashamed, could put in the corner. Overall, she was very kind and we loved her, but she had one peculiarity. When none of us confessed to another child’s “crime,” she built us up in a shelter, sat down on a chair and forced us to approach her in turn and look in her eyes. “I’ll see it through your eyes,” she calmly said. We were all very afraid of this procedure because we were 100% sure it worked.

We had two boy hooligans in our group. How about the hooligans? I could get rid of it and take out a toy. I have always considered myself an exemplary boy. On a winter day, I stood in the garden near the window and accidentally pierced a paper scotch with which insulated window frames were glued for the winter (the case was in Tomsk in the early 1990s). But, I remember, it wasn’t so accidental. I was just wondering what would happen if I crashed. He nodded and didn’t tell anyone. Later, Ludmila Konstantinovna discovered this and called on the responsible to come to her with guilt. I did not have enough spirit. And then she pronounces this phrase: "Well, then I will now know everything from your eyes." The panic that enveloped me then is one of my first childhood memories. God... I think through the years, I still remember her look in my eyes when it was my turn. She said, “The next one.” I waited for the announcement of the results as a court verdict. And what was my surprise when one of those two shaloppies was named guilty. We were both in shock. We were the only ones in this kindergarten to find out that the damn system didn’t work. But he couldn’t confess, because he’t be believed, and I couldn’t... Well because he couldn’t... The next day his grandmother came to the garden to glue the window...

It’s been 27 years, but I’m still ashamed.

If you are reading this, I hope this has not affected your life and, moreover, you don’t remember it anymore. And yet... forgive me.

The President called for a serious fight against corruption. And 20 years ago, the struggle was not serious?

This story happened many years ago. In order to remain anonymous, I completely changed its scientific part (so please don’t judge strictly, I’m doing other things, and Irka too) and the names of the two heroines.

A long time ago, three young women colleagues went to a conference in the UK. Two of them were under thirty, but they looked twenty. Irka - a tall light-haired beauty with a child's face and voice, touching blue eyes of the colour of the Volgograd sky and a good look, I - a medium-sized chatenka with long hair and eyelids, glowing eyes and round red cheeks, a positive appearance note excel. Marina was slightly older, thin, rapid, with an amygdala-like cut of serious eyes and a dull smile. We were very pleased with the trip - the conference promised to be interesting, the place was beautiful, and I wanted to see friends and colleagues.

The plane landed, the line for border control we stood, and we were going to go further. We always crossed the border quietly: the French joked when they saw our serious science in the "profession" item, and, having thrown a couple of mysterious looks and smiles, placed a stamp, the Dutch missed quickly, the Spaniards laughed and wished good. But this border guard was not a shirt. When he heard that we were going together, he called all three together. He made the expression of the receptionist of the Soviet laundry and began to ask various questions in a prosecutor’s tone:

Where are you born?
In Leningrad.
This city is called St. Petersburg. He told the accuser.
Yes, but then it was called Leningrad, so it is recorded in the documents.
In which country?
I currently live in Russia.
The date of birth?
Such a number, month and year.
Are you sure?
I had the feeling that this was not a border control, but a yellow house. I say, I am sure.
Well well well. Where are you born? He turned to Irka, who looked at him with wide open blue eyes. Irka informed and spotted something about the conference to which we are heading.
Do you work where? What kind of institution is this? Suspiciously he asked, holding in his hands our work certificates.
Even after a couple of rounds, during which he asked some questions twice, he decided to learn more about the purpose of our trip. He studied invitations from the organizers, documents on financial support, hotel reservations, theses of reports. We talked about the conference. He struck us for twenty minutes. The sense of stupidity of what was happening increased. Having taken my theses into his hands, he decided to ask me about the subject of my work.

At that moment, I was already full of talking in my throat. I love my work and am willing to talk about it in detail. I asked – now listen.

You know, of course, that your great compatriots Thomson and Tate formulated at one time the theorem of the stability of systems with gyroscopic forces. Later this theme was developed by Raus and Lyapunov. Raus’s theorem with the addition of Lyapunov, I believe, is of a philosophical nature. It states that if there are "hidden" movements of cyclic coordinates in the system, such as rotations of axisymmetric bodies, which do not affect the potential energy of the system, but give an addition to the kinetic, then this addition serves as an additional effective potential energy of the reduced system, in which "hidden" movements are absent. This means that the rapid rotation of axisymmetric bodies can serve as a sprinkle that gives additional stability to the system.

The border guard had a difficult expression on his face, he wanted to say something, but I, not allowing him to insert words, not translating the breath, joyfully continued:

I had the idea that by controlling the speed of these hidden movements, we could get various interesting effects. Especially if you connect the appropriate feedback to the object, say, if it begins to lose stability, then increase the speed of rotation, when going into the desired mode, reduce it, so as not to lose energy. In addition, the question arises, what will happen if these coordinates are not truly cyclical, but are them in some mediated sense. What then happens to the sustainability of the average movement? Can a multi-scale method be applied to its analysis?

“Thank you...” said the border guard.

No, I think you got, a fascist, a grenade! I won’t take you for the button, of course.

“Sorry, I haven’t explained it to the end,” I said decisively and went closer to the window with enthusiasm. “We are considering a specific task for the system of bodies with wolves, and one of the questions that we are solving is about choosing the representation of the tensors of the corresponding bodies. It is dictated, it turns out, not only by the geometry of the task, but also by its initial conditions!

Irka and Marinka stood with impenetrable attentive faces, showing sincere interest in my speech and readiness to dialogue, and looked with their big eyes to me, then to the border guard.

I understood! The border guard said. Enough is enough, thank you!

Are you sure? - I wanted to tell me, but I decided that the alaverda here will not serve anyone for the benefit.

He asked the names of the reports of the girls, and, only Irka was going to devote him to the secrets of paradoxes to Penlev, said darkly:
No need to explain the content. And when we shrugged our teeth, the clouds missed us.

We walked away a little, and the girls began to sneak. I was still angry.
What kind of donkey was he, what did he want from us? I asked them.

They looked at me with pity and said something I just couldn’t think of:
– Lenka, he thought we were going to do prostitution. He couldn’t believe that three young girls were going to present at a famous math conference.

Public opinion polls showed that they were not asked.

A couple of days ago a friend called me, drunk and crying. He has been divorced for a week, lives in a rental apartment and suffers. The cause of suffering - the ex-wife does not want to give him an aquarium with fish. I say to him, okay, feed you these fish, well, you will bring them to the edge of new ones. He replied, “Yes, I’m the only master for them, they treated me like dogs. I talked to them before I went to bed and in the morning. Feeding only when I served eggs, and if the wife fed ignored. Yes, I have a super ecosystem and hard work invested in it.” He generally suffers. I, so that he stood back, advised such words of the former and say, rather than demand and cut off the connection.

Two days have passed, today he calls again, already with a sober voice. He says, “You don’t want to take a marvelous aquarium with fish. It turned out, fucking, that to take care of them had no time, and in general to have them was the idea of his wife.

Blow-blowed bone, good that you and the light have not had children.

My friend told me that he had a man at work who was in a helicopter crash, which I don’t know, I won’t tell. Well, all the catastrophe he slept dumb, but was busty, but was just tired. They woke him up when everything was over and the helicopter slid down the slope of the mountain. This man all the time worried and mourned that he did not feel the feeling that they experience when falling and crashing. I said all survived and I did not, all slept, could have awakened me before.

We needed a new assembly in the state. We found a person, say, Sasha, with some little experience, sent to a more experienced colleague, discussed Z / PL and so on. He started to work (well, to study, in fact, because he had a little less skills developed). Two weeks later, after receiving the first salary, he says that he needs to go on a weekend to a neighboring area, to his homeland, to a friend for a wedding. Monday is like a sting. It’s Monday, there is no one. I worry, I call – suddenly what happened. In the phone: "I will be here a little late, until September, things are urgent." In the courtyard - about August 15, 2015. It is clear that no one was waiting for him for two weeks, found another employee. But the joke is not that.

On September 2, 2016, my phone rings, and someone says with a confident voice, “Hello, this is Sasha, ready to start working, can I go out tomorrow?” A year and two weeks! A man walked at a wedding - so he walked. But back in September.

Late in the evening, taxi

- And, here, you understand... whatever I do - everything is not right for her, - turning in such a trip, tells me the story of his life another passenger.

Carlisle is hanging! The nail that was struck is not in that place. Even if we are in the car, not in that lane! And so in everything! Always dissatisfied! Always criticized it.

Trouble... Trouble

- And then he started to lay the laminate, so she stood up over me, controlled me, and at some point began to scream that I was doing everything wrong again, picked up the laminate and started laying it!

Yes, it’s a problem, I’m breathing.

This is not the problem! The problem is that she really puts the laminate well!

Ostap Bender knew 400 relatively honest ways to take money away from the population. Now he could become a successful manager of the management company.

In the late 1990s there was in Israel a famous thief and passenger - Motti Ashkenazi. Moti has been industrialized on the beaches of Tel Aviv, has been on a short leg with heroin, but all of Israel simply adores him and knows him as a hero. All because of one story.
The case occurred on June 20, 1997.
Recidivist Ashkenazi was once again arrested, but violated the conditions of house arrest and went for a walk to the beach "Jerusalem". It was a special day – the last day of schooling, and a huge number of schoolchildren had fun and bathed throughout the classes.
Naturally, the entire beach was just an “unspoiled field” for Ashkenazi – everything was filled with schoolchildren’s wallets and their parents’ bags. Moti did not waste time for nothing and quickly chose a more expensive bag. He professionally approached the bag, sat on the sand nearby, opened without looking, touched a towel, sunglasses, but the wallet did not fit. Ashkenazi pushed his hand deeper and trembled - the bag was filled with nails.The beach thief looked around - tourists were sunbathing nearby, children and adults were roaring in the water. Moti again opened the bag wide and looked inside the box with the hose and the clock mechanism. Ashkenazi immediately realized that in front of him - he grabbed the bag and that he had the strength rushed to the street of Geula, where there was just an abandoned building. If the thief had been stopped by the police, he would not have been able to explain his transformation into a terrorist. But Moti didn’t think about that at the time.
Moti left a bag-bomb in the old abandoned house and rushed to the phone. The thief told the police: “I found a bomb! We need sapphires! urgently! They broke the name on the base and advised to bind with the drug, and for violating the conditions of house arrest promised real arrest. Ashkenazi returned home with a bomb and began to pull out the garbage containers on the road, trying to block traffic on Geula Street, accompanying all this with a wild cry. The police had to react to this - the deboshir was caught, but in any case they went to the abandoned house to check...
The police flew out of the house immediately and immediately called the sappers. It turned out that the bag was filled with five kilograms of explosives. Later it was established that she was brought to the beach by the same terrorist, who three months before it made an explosion at the café "Apropo" in Tel Aviv. After that, police closed all cases of Modi Ashkenazi and removed all charges against him. The man was sent to free rehabilitation, where he underwent a course of treatment for drug addiction.
Now Ashkenazi is 50 years old, he has five children and a great job. The former thief lives in Tel Aviv and works as a beach inspector - now no beach thief will escape the vigilant eye of the "expert", and Mothi is very attentive to homeless things on the beach.
Alexander Sarto

Do you want a change of power?
At least we are guilty.

My former boss was born in the harsh 1936. He is now retired, but during his work together he has told many interesting stories. Today I want to tell you about the one that struck me the most.

The former boss will be called Sanych.

Sanych being a thirteen-year-old boy who, like many Soviet boys, ran to the pond to swim, smoked, worked in the garden and carried out other boys' classes, had a good time to learn. Particularly good was his vocabulary. Sanych’s works the teacher set as an example to everyone and said that he should be equal.

The fame of the great composer reached the high school and one of them, an eight-year-old, offered Sanych a profitable contract - Sanych writes him a work, and in exchange receives an unprecedented award. Sanych wrote a good composition and the eighth-year-old kept his word. He brought a magical notebook. In the notebook there was a method with a description of how to behave with girls to divorce them for sex, what it is and how to practice it. The eighth-year-old explained that the notebook should be kept secret, not shown to anyone, secretly rewritten and returned.

Sanchez did what it was supposed to. The tetrad carefully snugged, rewritten until nobody saw it and returned it to the owner in time. But happiness, when there is no one to share it with, is happiness? He had a good friend, a year older than him. At the same time, the son went to the school, where they both studied. Well, Sanych and showed his companion his treasure. Of course, he asked to rewrite. He took the notebook home, hid it in the wardrobe under the underwear and began to rewrite it slowly and methodically. And first, he delayed the process, and secondly, he chose the unsuccessful place to store the compromise. Mamka-zavoch, digged in a commodity and accidentally found a manuscript. What it started here!

Zavoch held an extraordinary meeting of teachers with the director, where the issue of the local catastrophe, the fall of morals, etc. was discussed, and so on. In the end, the wise director said that the handwriting should be familiar to someone of the teachers. And yes, the teacher of literature only looked and immediately gave out: "That's what Sanych wrote!"

Then there was a heated debate between the public court and its ruling. The child is under strict control and total attention. And Sanycha, as an incitator to illegal activity - from the school and from the ranks of pioneers - down. The academic year is approaching the end, the magazine's assessments allow you to close the year and the last quarter. Thank you, you can’t go to school!

And here Sanych, in full prostration from the situation, lives a few days and at the end of the working week has a serious conversation with his parents. Mom and Dad sat down at the dinner table and said, “Son! While you were a pioneer and studied in school, we kept you investing in your future. Now that you have chosen your own path, you must ensure yourself. Fortunately, five kilometers from the house there is a wonderful brick factory that has a suitable vacancy.

And the next morning, Sanych went to the personnel department and went to work. Since then, every morning, at mid-seventh, he took a snack for lunch and walked on foot to the factory. There were huge furnaces where bricks were burned. At the bottom of the oven there were small passages, where a thirteen-year-old boy could stretch, bending in three folds, to digest the accumulated ashes. The oven was hot, the space was narrow, and the air was filled with the smallest particles of ash. Sanych, all dirty, sweaty and coughing from the flying dust, scratched the cane day after day. Day after day, walking to the factory and back. Friends who rest on summer holidays if they were called to swim in the pond, then only for the weekend.

Sanych worked for four months at the factory and began to think strongly about his difficult fate. His peers are already going to school, and he is still fine, cleaning the roofs along the oven day after day. And somehow it is even scary to think that it will always be so. When you’re thirteen, life ahead seems huge. This is terrible when all this multitude becomes unenlightened and dark.

And one day, Sanych, smelling a cigar at lunch sees history in the newspaper. A schoolboy fell behind, going on a slippery path to the small crime and was excluded from the school and from the ranks of pioneers. But he deeply repented and decided to write a letter to Klim Voroshilov with repentance. Sanich's eyes first opened wide, and then narrowed, greedy looking into the printed letters on the newspaper sheet. There was a weak hope for rehabilitation. Sanych wrote works well, but he never approached the writing of the text with such care as at the time when his further fate was decided. He wrote a letter of repentance to Klim Voroshilov himself.

I wrote, sent and waited. I waited for a few weeks, it was already cold and charged with cold November rains. And here Sanycha is called to the director of the school. He asked about the letter. About what Sanitch was doing apart from school and the collective. And he said that under vigilant supervision, he could be restored to his rights. He may return to school tomorrow.

The factory was finished. Communication with the son of Zavouch was terminated by mutual, silent agreement. The school program has been forced and life has flowed in its turn.

In the early 1990s, he was in the guard, boredom, the only pleasure of television. Actually, it will be about him. Do not do. Some improvements were made to the construction. For those interested I will describe: the frame coils included through the contacts of the relay on the reverse circuit, the coil on one of the network inputs and on the antenna (grounded). Depending on which of the four phases, the relay is either worked or not.

I made the change, came home, the phone is ringing.

-forestsanitar, here is a whirlwind with a calf, the image is reversed!

Dick, turn the fork in the rosette!

Stop chasing the shit!

Am I chasing? Turn the wheel!

......

They have probably never seen such miracles before.

The next and two other shifts were slowly going crazy, turning the fork, and putting forward the most unthinkable theories!

A acquaintance said:

The child injured his leg, took a X-ray, checked - all the norms on the photo.

But the next day the child could not rely on the leg at all, and complained that the leg hurt.

She took him on her arms again to the clinic, all on the nerves, took another photo.

After that, the child gets up from the table, says "thank you, it doesn't hurt now" and goes to dress up.

In general, the child thought that the X-rays healed, the bones grafted, the wounds healed)) and thus decided to walk a little kindergarten.

XX: I also helped once... 2007 year, walked in the evening around the city. Here a boy aged 14-15 comes to me and says that he was stolen a bicycle and asks to pick up the police from his mobile phone. I decided to help, picked up the number, waited for the answer, I gave him the phone... And suddenly he shouted in the phone, “You are all a puddle...you!” He gives me the phone and runs away.



I visited the department. There were witnesses, but the shame was considerable.

It is a pity that history repeats itself all the time, and our lives never.

I worked at football. Once upon a time, a 10-year-old boy came to me.
Do you have any work for me?
I was so glad that there were such children, remembered myself at his age! Advertising, selling newspapers and cooked corn and many other "workings".
Yes, there is! You can clean up the dishes from the red tables, and for every cleaned table I will give you a flyer for free ice cream, you can sell them or exchange them for something, and you will earn a little money.
Well, I ran to clean up!
The guests paid attention to him and began to leave a little money for him. He asked me a couple of times what to do with them, and I said you can keep them for yourself.
A day later he began to clean only the tables on which money was left, and a few days later he only collected money.

Putin has accepted the country without Twitter. It will also be delivered without it, so as not to break the reporting.