bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №93772
 10.02.2014
Operation is going. The surgeon only opens the stomach, the light is turned off. In total darkness, an anesthesiologist’s voice: “The mafia is waking up...”


[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №93771
 10.02.2014
Beats, beats on the rear seat, mints are tapped, trouble. And I’m driving a ‘Mask’ – a quivaldo from a tractor, not what’s minted, the brother is squeezing.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №93770
 10.02.2014
Sister(C) and Brother(B) discuss making work in the garden by February 23

C: Let’s make surikens from paper.
B: We are not preparing for Ninja Day, but for Defender of the Fatherland Day.

[ + 42 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93769
 10.02.2014
The scream of the soul.

People!! The people!!! to
You know this proverb - "Do not spit in the well - it will be useful to drink the water itself." Surely you know! Why do you so carefully produce shit in your life?

Not one ring burned at the opening of the Olympics. The whole internet is filled with these messages. Is that all you could see at the two-hour opening? A brilliant light show, a ballet production, 40 thousand light medallions, a collection in telogreeks and more! And all that your intelligence had enough was the mistake of synchronizing the illumination of the Olympic rings? Are you really so poor?

Don’t go into the country you live in!!! You will die in your feces like yeast in alcohol!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №93768
 10.02.2014
XHHH: I cry XD))) Zina came from the boss, she tells me that he is not happy :D
Why the smiley? I don’t understand the prize.
You know his favourite "Herr Morzow"?
I know :(
xxx: zina cultural plus we recently))) says confusedly so "you boss asked to communicate that you are a BOB member or something like that..."

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №93767
 10.02.2014
It seems soon it will be more appropriate to advertise laptops on which the operating device is not yet installed.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №93766
 10.02.2014
You know how to drive a car and try to become a Junior driver without experience, so no, everyone wants to see a resume of 5 pages about what brands of cars you know how to drive, whether you are familiar with the control of the radio and the glass lift, whether you can open the box and the luggage compartment.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №93765
 10.02.2014
A cloud is when you invite a few girls, and you think that at least one of them in your bed at night and will be, and then you come to sleep - and they are filled there all and crack, because you have no room there.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93764
 10.02.2014
printed on a 3D printer a female torso, according to the view of Viner Milosskaya

The winery? Is it crazy, Winnie?! to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №93763
 10.02.2014
to this:
Alcohol and passports. It is noted that if a bottle of wine is purchased along with chocolate / cheese / fruits - a passport is required. If the wine comes with laundry powder, vegetables, milk, baby juices/pure, sunflower oil, etc. They never ask.
The same store, the same sellers, approximately the same time, the same evil and lame I=)
and...

I am 35 and I have a beard. I look at 25, with the purchase of alcohol problems have never been, but as soon as I tried to buy just a bottle of champagne and chocolate, so immediately asked for a passport :))

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №93762
 10.02.2014
When you were a child, did you build houses in a room of blankets and chairs?
No, I did not build.
And seriously? Do you have blankets and chairs? :D
I had a sofa with eight square pillows, from which a whole fortress could be built. So I did not build from chairs and blankets like holops, I lived in a castle in a boyarsk way.
Burn in Hell.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №93761
 10.02.2014
Looking at Ukraine, I want to say... thank you Father for peace in Belarus, for clean streets, healthy food and hope for the future.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №93760
 10.02.2014
Mikhalkov was placed to carry a flag to show the world that our pydors are not oppressed.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №93759
 10.02.2014
from JJ:

...I remember my sister dragging me (small, 12 years old) with her in the shops. She was usually with us her best friend (110 kg + ambitions)
I never understood why they first bought hot dogs and ate them fast and fast, and then went to the cafe, ordered green tea with maia-lanny sandwiches and ate them doolgo, never ate them and complained loudly that they were eating like birds and all right!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №93758
 10.02.2014
The roller:
Where did you read it, can you ask?
I’m starting to miss and think about a post for science_freaks, already seeing the words “yogic.”

All posts and comments are like:
In fact, all the problems of modern man are due to the lack of biophotons. The ancient Chinese knew this for a long time and therefore invented Feng Shui. And we are ready for the funny (8999r.) The money to provide a wonderful device, thanks to which you have disappeared insomnia, headaches, hemorrhoids and obesity. Only, please do not understand, or there is a battery and a diode inside.”

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №93757
 10.02.2014
Flying as Gurbanguly Meliqguliyevich Berdimuhamedov on the Ketsalkoatle over Eyjafjallajökull...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №93756
 10.02.2014
to this:

You are not an important lawyer unless you know that in Russia there is a presumption of innocence.
-------
Before commenting, it would be good to know that in Russia the presumption of innocence is used in criminal proceedings, while civil-legal relations are often based on guilt principles. The parties in the proceedings must prove the circumstances they are referring to. The question of proofing a negative fact has not once been considered in the specialized literature and is very controversial.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №93755
 10.02.2014
to this:
Cost optimization in Russian - is to remove the supplementary payment of 2.5th from the employee for the washing of the floors in the offices and to hire an outsourcer to perform the same work for 15th

Economy in Russian. As a result, the same employee will wash the floors for the same 2.5 thousand, and 12.5 thousand will be divided in half between the outsourcer and the director.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №93754
 10.02.2014
In the UK found traces of human legs, left 800 thousand. years ago.
To which club these gentlemen went, the British scientists could not establish. c) golosptic lj

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №93753
 10.02.2014
xxx: Fuck, I don’t have a single picture of naked grandmothers in my chosen one, only cats.
Congratulations, you have grown up.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna