bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №78085
 28.02.2013
Against the head of Rosrybolovsk has already been opened a case under the article "official counterfeit". He does not acknowledge his culpability.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №78084
 28.02.2013
I used to be nervous and crazy, and now I have a cat.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №78083
 28.02.2013
The hospital. In the line are a girl with a daughter (daughters aged 4-5).
I am Julia!!! to
You are Elizabeth!
and Elizabeth?! to

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №78082
 28.02.2013
xxx: and how did you guess that Natasha was better than all the others who were on the NG at Valik?
I am so happy! ? ? ? ? The test was done :)
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH? to
Yaya: asked to write them on the towels "Aral Sea". Then I picked up the towels and told them that everything was written correctly, the test was not interesting. but only Natasha wrote as expected ))))))))))))))))

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №78081
 28.02.2013
I have been drunk for almost a year. Now the extra money has appeared, I buy a motorcycle.
The young man. And accumulated a lot?
and 40 rubles.

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №78080
 28.02.2013
Asked a friend to bring a huge, soft toy - a couch to the house of the Baptist.
We are not a peak hour, but a full flow.
And suddenly in the back of the jeep "Toyota" enters the "Dog"
A boy and a girl come out.
My friend is blowing out of the jeep... trying to say something.
The guy among them naturally just roar...
My friend seeing such a reaction, somehow softened, says:
Okay stop it. Everything is normal. Insurance will cover.
The man continues to shake his hands.
The friend:
Stop the car, do you have it?
The guy:
Oh, fuck her with it!! to
“Well, be a man, your car, the insurance is that you cry. Do not kill yourself that way. Let us not even call the goats. Let’s go, and all the business!
The guy at this time falls on his knees and begins to scratch the asphalt with his fists.
A friend, completely upset already, turns to a girl who surprisingly calmly behaves:
Girl, at least tell him. It is uncomfortable...
“You know,” he replied, “it’s actually my car. And I argued with him that if he strikes someone at least once a week when he is driving, he will marry me.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №78079
 28.02.2013
The gentlemen of the weather: "And what their weather is, today one, tomorrow the same. Here is Peter. It broke, it melted, it froze. Rained, melted, ice - romance!" (PK101)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №78078
 28.02.2013
A doctor’s recent story.
In the children's clinic comes a paper from the police: "Ivanov shot a deer and Ivanov was 10 years old. District pediatrician in some shock - type, and what to do? Whether they were invited to the reception, or whether they themselves came, I do not remember. It turns out, the father stuck on the road with a car of a passing deer. The paper from the police in some unthinkable logic sent to the pediatrician.
Is it an elephant?

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №78077
 28.02.2013
Yogurt is special, with taste and pieces of pieces.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №78076
 28.02.2013
Nothing rushes to work like the boss’s car in the rear-view mirror.

[ + 37 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №78075
 28.02.2013
We sit at work in the office, everything is quiet...A colleague is flying up with screams – "URA!!! I got it!! See you, see you! My Red Diploma!!!"... I accepted congratulations and went on to the offices. After 15 minutes, he calls the work phone and asks: “Hope, how to write... four hundred or four hundred?” ... O_O

[ + 28 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №78074
 28.02.2013
If men drive better, then why is it an advantage when selling a car - a girl who has driven?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №78073
 28.02.2013
(Celebrity recently shaved, before this 10 years passing with long hair)

Damn, I had to change avatars everywhere!
XXX: This is especially difficult to do in a passport!

[ + 21 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №78072
 28.02.2013
A colleague is from Kyrgyzstan (he has recently begun to make mistakes in the text)
Andrei ( KG ): do you content does a rep site?
Alexey: Escape from there
Alexey: Driving
Alexey: Until it is too late
Andrei ( KG ): the bleak...

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №78071
 28.02.2013
From Habr:

>>>...HR for the first time at a technical interview
>>... An enthusiastic discussion of Linux processes with the candidate, you hear “zombies, children... parents... kill children... demons... kill a demon, zombies... killed children”
>>> (HR with a dark face, a whispering whisper) YOU ABOUT WHAT?? to

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №78070
 28.02.2013
I am looking at the register of unfair suppliers. There is OOO "Sparta")))
The name of their "genu" is Leonid.... ? )
Q: Can I call to ask?and))
Average number of employees is 300.)
I need to make a serious face)))))
WOW: The cliche of the company "nothing to give, but to take everything"there are they and unfair))\
ahh: Ah))) and for all questions and claims with the scream "it's spartaaaaaaa" to drive people out of the office)))
Ahhaha) and they are engaged in repayment deliveries of the dead Persians.)

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №78069
 28.02.2013
Subscriber with the name Cossack.
I’m never surprised that he has a problem.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №78068
 28.02.2013
Teacher in kindergarten: Tomorrow will be held regional exercises.
Hide from the meteorite.
Your son is appointed to the role of a meteorite!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №78067
 28.02.2013
I: (reflecting)..."Every person comes into our lives not just so".
Girlfriend: "Do you want to fuck?"

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №78066
 28.02.2013
I develop a complex of inferiority.
What are you talking about yourself. Nothing is developing. You are incomplete.

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