bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №61293
 13.03.2012
From VK comment to the picture "Without glasses you are more beautiful - You are also more beautiful when I am without glasses":

I always walk without glasses to make this cruel world look a little more beautiful and kind. But I still want to burn it in a nuclear flame.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №61292
 13.03.2012
Today we ate a cake called Macho. And then my bandmate issued the phrase: such a macho cannot pass past my mouth.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №61291
 13.03.2012
From comments to the news about the use of pain beam to drive up rallies in America:
Well, in France, at the time of the hippies, gas was tested at a women’s demonstration which causes spontaneous stools – ladies quietly dispersed holding on to the rhetoric.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №61290
 13.03.2012
I may be late for electrical engineering tomorrow.
YYY: Okay, only this subject we ended a year ago
XXX: The Blue
Pitched

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №61289
 13.03.2012
Is it normal to stick to a sleeping person, whisk him in the face in the whole throat and make sure that he is awake to start licking his eggs? I hate my cat (

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №61288
 13.03.2012
She: Do you remember saying yesterday that you set up computers for your neighbors? Neighbors complained to me that they see me on TV more often than live.
and
She: So, the neighbor’s uncle is watching television mostly porn. My grandmother is mostly watching series. I even strained a little.
and
Better than my uncle.)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №61287
 13.03.2012
Smash: Yesterday I bought a new laptop and put authorization to start through a fingerprint sensor.
Dendy: Congratulations
Smash: My son (10 years old) is delighted with the note... And I think he has already come up with a way to bypass authorization.
Dendy : How?
Smash: He forbade me from washing my glass and all my dishes after me. I wasn’t so smart at his age.
Dendy is a good boy))

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №61286
 13.03.2012
A familiar girl tells how she went to the sauna with her boyfriend: "Oh, they went together so well, the camera was taken... True, I only photographed him. Two photos were even good. One is on the belt, and the other... also good".

[ + 51 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №61285
 13.03.2012
and?? to
And I woke up from the fact that she tied my tick to my pillow and dropped it from the couch. I have never felt such a fear in the morning!! to
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
I took revenge on her the next morning. Smashed her nipples with valerian and planted Vaska next to him))) He quickly understood what to do and began to lick her nipples, she stood out of the fist began to twist, the cat did not like such a turn of events, and he would like to crack her with his kicks. Such a cry has not been heard in our apartment for a long time!!! to
I cry and I pay!Such fools as you have never seen the light!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №61284
 13.03.2012
I bought a set of white cards. The inscription on the packaging: '' For the brightest applications!'

[ + 35 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №61283
 13.03.2012
XH: Who has a multiwark? I want to hear and understand how useful it is.
YYY: I have a vaporizer, after giving birth I was able to lose 10 pounds a week, now we rarely use it, I don't like to wash it, the juicer is worth dusting, the most popular is a blender, recently broken, bought the same, but the new model, the most adhesive and useful thing, in the hostel is indispensable
ZZZ: And I have skies on the balcony!

[ + 14 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №61282
 13.03.2012
Correction begins with the realization that the error has occurred.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №61281
 13.03.2012
Three years ago, a colleague, a surgeon from another hospital, approached me with a request to set up a laptop that began to swallow, and he, you see, needed a "cut" for an important matter. It was “Flying”.

What archival problems he needs to solve, I did not specify. He brought to me his apparatus with Hruščov on board, which I properly cleaned from any infection, optimized, killed all the unnecessary, and "necessary" installed. Why “needed” in cakes? You will soon find out.

A normal, routine procedure for your submissive servant, which took no more than an hour. I gave him this note with a light heart and awareness of the "qualitatively" fulfilled 100% promise. Why “quality” in cakes? You will find out now.

He will call me in 24 hours. Have you ever heard the mixture of mat and the simultaneous rusting in the pipe? So I had to. The thing is that I installed him a very "needed" software in the form of a side 9 screensaver. Who doesn't know - a wonderful (any normal man will appreciate) screen in the form of semi-naked girls washing your monitor with soap foam. Here is a link to the video. The interval of operation was set at 15 minutes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7SgyGnBfRVE

The archival task that stood before this note was to be connected the next day to the projector to demonstrate on the big screen a presentation in Power Point of the achievements of his branch at the next Republican Surgery Society. I was not there because I was on guard. This service was very well accompanied. Otherwise, he would have stunned me immediately after the meeting.

The following happened: There is a report, the slides go to the clock, the notebook works like the clock, the projector - too. The demonstration is temporarily interrupted to answer a number of questions. My colleague begins to answer questions from an educated audience. After 15 minutes, the screen saver is turned on in the dark room. The audience fades. First she looks onto a healthy screen, then it starts to rust. Naturally, students and postgraduates were the first to revive. Then came the professors turn. My colleague stands behind the screen and continues to talk enthusiastically about the advances in endoscopic abdominal surgery. Finally, he feels awkward, turns, becomes pale and throws to the mouse. The girl disappears.

So, out of the hall there were screams of honorable doctors (not students): "Return her back!!!!"

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №61280
 13.03.2012
Timothy was not recognized on the street and beaten.
He was lucky that he did not find out.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №61279
 13.03.2012
Den Romanoff: Pines, eggs, cedar...
The Romanoff:
Den Romanoff: Did the pineapples eat cedar?! to

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №61278
 13.03.2012
Fookiss: What else is theft??? I jumped and immediately stood up and picked it up!

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №61277
 13.03.2012
Version "Come into the show business through the bed", with Buranov grandmothers clearly does not work.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №61276
 13.03.2012
Today's Hall Positive: Some guy asks another to insure on the living room lying. He says: "Support me the stick, please. I will fear myself. I usually keep my mom"

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №61275
 13.03.2012
D: It’s not normal to be a virgin at age 19.
M : I agree. What about the girls?
A girl should take care of herself before the wedding.
M: How can you not be a virgin if all the girls take care of themselves before the wedding?

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №61274
 13.03.2012
XXX: How about Annie?
WOW: She left me.
HHH: How is it? She did not hope in your soul, on the contrary, as if you were not all right?
WOW: I stopped going to the barbecue, started hanging in the beer bar with friends, accidentally forgot to congratulate me on March 8, set up a WOW... And the day after she left me, everything returned to its own.
HH: But why all these actions? Isn’t it easier or cooler to send a girl?
WOW: Son, grow up and you will realize that there is nothing worse than an insulted abandoned cock, thirsty for revenge.

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