bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 57 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №13226
 25.12.2008
The store of computers. The sales method is terminal (Sandrajs-Pro).
A guy comes with a nice blonde, find a consultant, a guy asks how to buy a flash.
They approach the terminal, and out of 16 names, the girl chooses a flash for 30 minutes. The consultant shows her all the pictures several times, she is in doubt about the shape and color, the guy is already shy away... Explanations on the flash volume the girl is generally inserted into a stupor.
Her boyfriend, not standing up to questions "which of these will fit my shirt?", says "we will take this" and shows on the photo the last proposed one.
Advice to form.
Girl: and how?
Q: Click on the word "Buy"...
The girl presses the finger on the monitor for the word "Buy".
Q: No, I need to click the mouse.
The girl finds a mouse on the table, raises it and presses it on the monitor with the word "Buy".
The guy immediately gives her a crack and runs out of the store, she follows him, and the consultant goes and laughs nervously...

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №13225
 25.12.2008
I am a celebrity myself. In the autumn of the 87th he issued 120 liras (!) Drivers for External Devices! And got it!

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №13224
 24.12.2008
[22:33:24] <xxx> How old are you?
[22:33:31] <yyy> 16
[22:33:51] <yyy> What is wrong
[22:34:10] <xxx> your grammar for all 8 years
[22:34:33] <yyy> Bistro in anxiety writing
[22:34:50] <yyy> I do not notice mistakes
[22:35:08] <yyy>

[ + 72 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №13223
 24.12.2008
Tired of! The cry of a woman's soul - tired of being a girl Tired of monthly haircut and hair coloring. Correction and coloring of the eyebrows. Colour of scratches. Depilation in all places. Manicure and pedicure (removal of the cuticula, slicing, base under the lacquer, lacquer, fixer of the lacquer). Tired of body scrub, body cream, body spray and deodorant every morning. Cream for softness. Daily hair cleaning. and makeup. and blaaaah. Pen for washing, tonic, face cream, base for makeup, tonal cream, powder, consiler, gel for eyelids, body for eyelids, pencil for eyelids, shadows for eyelids, pencil for eyelids, brush for eyelids, balsam for lips, mask, ruby... Every day! I am tired!! Masks for the face. Masks for hair. Masks under the eyes. Masks for the body. The cables. The Shirts. The ghosts. The columns. and strings. Menstruation is tired too.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №13222
 24.12.2008
In the Automotive Forum:

<guest>: What is it that shakes up when you put a car in the slope, similar to ABS? No brakes at this time. It looks like it is crashing from behind...

<Pers240>: the point?! to

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №13221
 24.12.2008
The morning. I warm my car and smoke. Two bombs around the mowing are forged. Monik CRT 15", the body - all got... Dialogue:
1st and all. Food is left.
2nd Michael has a transfer. The window in the basement - "Michalych! Give it 220..."). The hand is lifted with the transfer. It includes... WinXP...
1st In.. there are a few points... It’s golden – they don’t let go, it’s what? Open... There is...

We have an interesting country and people live in it.

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №13220
 24.12.2008
Blythe... you saw my photo.
Don’t worry, I almost imagined you.
and yes? And what coincided?
Number of eyes

[ + 63 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №13219
 24.12.2008
In the morning, my mother burned: I pushed the fissure thickness in the bag in the morning, the nibble does not climb, my mom fits, folds carefully (the sizes diminish twice), quietly puts it in the bag and says: "The girls must already squeeze, and he can't squeeze the thickness." O_O

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №13218
 24.12.2008
The Employee (15:00:18)
It is urgent!! Come to Natalia. My computer is off!!! to

I am (15:00:56)
What motivated your disconnection?

The Employee (15:01:33)
She put a flash in her ass!! to

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №13217
 24.12.2008
In the morning to work. The foot hurt. The elevator does not work again. He barely descended from the 13th floor on one leg. He was irritated. I call the dispatcher and ask if they are recording the applications. The answer is "Yes". I asked to write that the director of the JEC is a pid0pac. And they answer me that from our arrival a request has already been made.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №13216
 24.12.2008
All of you have come up with your calls. "Admines, do not publish, do not publish it..." "People, let us not write about it, about it...""and here while you sit here your ass wipe there is a rally / war / disagreement..." " put a plus quote or no one will know about this shit..."
Bachelor is dying for you! This is a citation! Quotes are published here! Funny quotes! And with your calls go to other sites dedicated to the topic that interests you. There will be a lot more people here than here.
Sorry it hurt.
What is there... Odmin, cat, shredder, hoyace, o_o

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №13215
 24.12.2008
DayFan
Heal me from the session.
by Kiiru
What symptoms?
DayFan
Mean is constantly chasing the feeling of shit.

[ + 61 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №13214
 24.12.2008
Young and green.
It’s sad to read your jokes about the future dads, and about the horror of two stripes.
You will grow up someday. And you’ll be waiting for these two stripes from your beloved. Once in a while, you will be waiting with hope...

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №13213
 24.12.2008
I sit with the boss, flying the computer from viruses.
The boss is wild, sitting next to him and long does not dare to drink a glass of vodka.
Here an employee comes in and begins to complain to the IT department,... said they have blocked access to the desired sites, it is impossible to work, they probably go all day on porn sites, etc.
The leader, listening to the speech, said:
- Fuck, Lena, you are so beautiful that no one is fucking fuck you.

[ + 85 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №13212
 24.12.2008
And you once had such a chip, when a neighbor below the floor plays a sage, or dendy, and you turn on a telecast, and she there can see how he plays in dancing there or in Mario. And when it happens not always, so once in a while

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №13211
 24.12.2008
Conversation with an ex.
The former:
Have you quit smoking?
I am :
and yes.
And to drink?
and abandoned.
And to fuck?
No, I did not fuck.
I thought I would give you a rubber doll.
No need to come back to me!

[ + 84 - ] Comment quote №13210
 24.12.2008
She: I'm tired of your games endless... next time I'll remove the counter and the wire I'll cut off the internet
He: Well sheep, leave the thread at least...
She: Will you go with me to Bilan?
The Ruby Wire...

Sphnx

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №13209
 24.12.2008
It is not only Gazprom that cannot get money from Ukraine. Somali pirates have already paid for international negotiations.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №13208
 24.12.2008
I have already rushed! Leave the ASCII. Here is phone.
8-901-313-57-45. Take the flash, you fool.

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №13207
 24.12.2008
My husband loves to lie in the bathroom and often falls asleep there.First I worried, I woke him up...And one day the water dropped, the light turned off and went to bed.
Husband’s memories: Woke up, thought in the morge: dark, cold, the tube on the leg talks (chain).The sensation is upset!Adrenaline flows from the ears!"

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