Of all the disadvantages of the iPhone, the main thing I still think is its absence.

I ordered a new suitcase via the internet. I got a package in the mail, I will go with her grandmother. The grandmother looked at her for a minute, and then gave out: "In the warehouse there is the same one.
The Epic File)

During the discussion of the topic "I do not start":
Which test should I ask in the pharmacy - positive or negative?
Ask for unused.

Sisadmin always thought he was the king of the grid...until the electrician came.

"Suddenly the old grandfather...
With an untransmitted-anecdotal "Odessa" pronouncement, gracing and helping yourself with gestures:

You are in vain instructing the boy. Having such a sample of a woman near you from childhood, your boy will easily become a pedestrian without additional instructions!

There is no scene.
I am out of the clothes:
Grandpa, can I kiss you in the cheek?
“It’s in any man,” said Grandpa.

What will we call our son?
Mmm... I don’t know...
She: Do you need something unusual... Maybe a saint?
He: No... not that. Let’s call it... mmm... lightforest!))
She is : AGA. I think that’s what I’m saying to myself... First class, class manager: Well, what’s your name? What is your father, idiot? The regulator...

I am a loser.
YYY: What happened?? to
XXX: I was not taken to work.
Don’t worry, everything is normal.
XXX: at McDonald’s

You understand that youth passes when you see people younger than yourself in porn.

My girlfriend understands me without words.
That’s just wrong...

Yesterday my friend under the wheels died.
So sorry, the car crashed.
No, this fool threw his wheels and decided he was dead!! to
I hardly convinced him that I am not Satan and that I am not going to roast him in a boiler of boiling oil!! to

Rough students, in the absence of a microwave, heat the cocklets with Russian mustard.

“Summertime” is like uggy, just a movie.

In connection with the relocation and repair, we gave our superactive cat to our mother. I call and ask:"How is our chicken there?" In response, I hear a sad and sad voice of my mom:"The carpet broke into the corner, the flowers were rubbed, the calendar was removed from the refrigerator, April is sitting and eating";;

I will vote in the elections only for the one who legislatively prohibits 930 ml milk packages and 900 g flour packages.

surveyed

Can you read?
Yes is
No is
I don’t know, but I learn.
I cannot read the question.

A: You are a businessman.

T: Sponsor of the washing - puzzles from my mother. Puzzles from my mom - "Another time you shake the refrigerator - I will kill" and everything is clean.

Conversation with a guy:
I: I say right away, there will be no sex!
He said, “You are what! I had no thoughts!
I: Don’t scream, I see it in my eyes!
He said: Nothing like that! Look into these honest eyes (removing the glasses), they say...
I want to fuck!

Oh young people! already
begins
To be tired!
Remember the cock.
Through D
The word is written
The fucking!

V. Mayakovsky

After three years of marriage, having a half-year-old son, he changed status from "all difficult" to "meet"

I never understood people who bite their nails.
After all, without nails it is uncomfortable to forge the hair out of the nose.