bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №121113
 27.11.2015
My aunt was in an accident, brought to the hospital, examined and said:

You seem to have a knee fracture, go down to the neighboring building on the 7th floor and take a X-ray.

[ + 26 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121112
 27.11.2015
About the neighbors.



A familiar reader told me. Asked him to sell the apartment, he came to the check-in and there just fell into the precipitation. In the apartment lived a drinking couple, inter-room doors were broken by fists, wallpapers are hanging with blades, the corner in one of the rooms floor was squeezed to the state of stalactites. The walls in the corridor are crushed with a tail. The smell is similar to the stall.



But the hell was waiting for him in the bathroom. These tenants were disconnected for failing to pay for electricity, so in order to cook any food, they burned a fire in the bathroom. On the floor such a black stove is good, the walls and ceiling are all black in the stove, the whole bathroom is like a Russian stove as in the village. And all this in an ordinary panel nine-storey.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №121111
 27.11.2015
Comment to the news "A missing Chinese woman lived in an internet cafe for 10 years":
xxx: Wrong title - "In a cafe found a girl raised by a computer".

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №121110
 27.11.2015
From now on, paying for travel to Turkey is equivalent to funding ISIS.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №121109
 27.11.2015
My mother closed the trade union.

Enough of it! I want a day when no one tells me what to do. I am on strike! I won’t wash my hands or brush my teeth if I don’t want to.
A six-year-old boy stumbled his leg and sat in Turkish in front of the refrigerator, staring down into the floor.
And for long? My mother clarified pragmatically.
- Until the strike is over - explained the proletarian - a couple of weeks!
My mother, a representative of the oppressor class, calculated the options. Most of them didn’t like her.
Okay, then I too, she said.
What too? The proletariat was surprised.
“At the strike,” said my mother, “I don’t cook, I don’t wash, I don’t clean. And I’ll tell Dad, he’ll strike too!
You can not! The proletarian appealed, I want to eat.
I can.
and Aaaah! I’m going to go one day! and all!
The Silence
Half of the day!
The Silence
My strike is over! I went to brush my teeth! You don’t battle either, okay? and?

So our mother closed the trade union in a separate house.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №121108
 27.11.2015
In the Jewish fairy tale, Rebecca Good took money from the rich and distributed it to the poor, at a small percentage.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121107
 27.11.2015
The girl rolled over the banners on the floor, the dance teacher asks the girl:
Are you Russians, not Russians? They told me not to go on banners.

[ + 25 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121106
 27.11.2015
F.M. Dostoevsky’s novel “The Player” was written overnight.
M. Ferley "Bagry leopard and white" - twenty years old.
Both books are good in their own way. A writer’s work is not measured in human hours.
I am a writer myself. Let me tell you a few secrets:
1st A true writer always works. He has no holidays, weekends, holidays, smoking and breaks. If he doesn’t sleep and doesn’t fuck, he writes.
2nd Where is so much sludge on the shelves? "Russian" publishers - monopolists do not cooperate with writers. Dontsovs, Marinines, Pelevinas, Aquinas and even with them are actors who play writers. Books for them are written by diggers for copies (from ten thousand rubles per novel). Would you write a masterpiece for that money?
The exception is made by some fanatics (for example, Lukyanenko).
Three As a writer, I am not against piracy. If I get paid for my book. But I am against unauthorized fanfics. If you want to write a fanfic, ask me how.
4 is I am confident that piracy will die if, instead of the projects of Imyarek, writers will start printing, and the books will be sold with a twist of no more than 100% (now from 400%, and consider that the costs are exaggerated, because the price is high). on the ligger from 5 darmoods from affiliated structures).
CONCLUSION: Let us fight those who provoke piracy – with monopoly publishers, parasites, false authors, etc. of LADY?

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №121105
 27.11.2015
[17:44:27] Val:...especially the British gold-toughened chinchilla liked.
[17:45:05] Kir: a mimimeter to fix tired (wink)
[17:48:07] Keir: I need something half-wild
[17:48:34] Val: Half wild and from the apartment will leave half-lived area!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №121104
 27.11.2015
Do you consider yourself smart?
and yes.
How did the paper appear, for example?
Mankind is tired of rubbing the leaf of the shell.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №121103
 27.11.2015
I work for a company with Polish roots. Connected to the bagtrecker. The first letter with the line: "Category: Błąd". A very simple and understandable language.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №121102
 27.11.2015
3D printer on the floor. The first fucking Cuba.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №121101
 27.11.2015
I felt the rule of equal exchange on my skin, when yesterday I got a dozer with 2 bags of meat =), and today absolutely without spices =(

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №121100
 27.11.2015
My youngest in elementary school had a honored teacher who at the meeting stated without hope of objection: “Or an electronic journal – or I!”

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №121099
 27.11.2015
Comments on the porn site under the video, in which the actors in the "process" produce knocking sounds.
1: My guitar amplifier makes such sounds when I turn it off, is it okay with it?
2: This is normal, just the transitional process is transferred to the dynamic.
Thank God, I thought it would break soon. What a wonderful website, you helped me with this! I will recommend to friends and family!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №121098
 27.11.2015
XXX: Extra sensation by smell.
YYY: What is extrasensitivity?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №121097
 26.11.2015
Today I go into the entrance, and two glowing eyes look at me from the darkness.
I thought about death, vampires and the Terminator.
Then on the machine stumbled his leg and light burned from the sound sensor.
Good night! My grandmother in her glasses said, pulling off the phone. Apparently the sms came and she, right in front of the door, stopped and read.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №121096
 26.11.2015
In the Primorye reserve, a tiger made friends with a goat sent to eat.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №121095
 26.11.2015
This is:
I refer to the collective unconscious. Please pray for Omsk. On the eve of December and the new year we were left without buses, passenger enterprises because of debts have nothing to buy fuel. It is still warm outdoors, but winter is gaining momentum. Please help!

Dear friend, or maybe you yourself, with other suffering people, go to the mayor of the glorious city of Omsk and ask what shit? Waiting for rain from the sunshine after prayer may be more pleasant.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №121094
 26.11.2015
How the developers of mushrooms marinated

XXX: This is bad with marinades. This is how you smell on an industrial scale, and then try it - it is unpleasant.
YYY: and you do a couple of cleaning parties, and then in the sale.
zzz: so can all the collected mushrooms be featured
Yes, it can be frozen.
zzz: many foods after freezing are no longer the... cucumbers, for example
yyy: mushrooms can be frozen after cooking. This is norm
zzz: cooling mushrooms do not necessarily have to be good
xxx: here is a very short period for settlement and testing
zzz: cooling mushrooms can also be purchased from third-party sources
Zzz: and then roll out yours when you get the recipe.
yyy: marinated mushrooms are not rolled out in the sale, but chopped

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