bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №93552
 06.02.2014
There are two types of people in the world: those who make fun of you and those who don’t know you.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №93551
 06.02.2014
In churches fewer and fewer believers, more and more "parishioners".

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №93550
 06.02.2014
I am studying medicine. I was practiced in the hospital, I was sent for an operation to some man. The man looked at me and said, “I’ll pay any money, but don’t let it come to me.” He was my former biologist.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №93549
 06.02.2014
The phrase "I am the son of the prosecutor" could never scare the bear away.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №93548
 06.02.2014
How is the technical approach different from the creative? Technical - the task is not solved - the performer is a fool. Creative - the task is not solved - you have been and do not understand anything in art!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №93547
 06.02.2014
I put an English program on the phone. I go and there the lion stands and says, "Let's go to the jungle, let's study a couple of interesting materials."

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №93546
 06.02.2014
(Forum on Emergency Services in Germany)
First, the ambulance is not free. I asked to pay 70. Therefore, false calls are very rare and cases such as "something does not sleep me" almost do not happen.
xx: If in Russia the call "Speed" would cost at least 50 rubles - the number of calls would be halved))
Yy: And if she arrived on time, the number of deaths would have halved.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №93545
 06.02.2014
xxx: I have a 40-year-old relative in a bath this year, his stroke hit after he sat in the car. Eight days in the resuscitation was lying because of this bathing. The entire right side is paralyzed. He is currently in hospital and is recovering.

yyy: Just pop haltered and badly sanctified the cut)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №93544
 06.02.2014
I understood everything about the tattoo at the opening - they sing, and then they are shot on the spot.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №93543
 06.02.2014
Q: What do you still regret?

...

I remember in school at 2 a.m. a teacher arranged us all kinds of puzzles from light bulbs. Well there are what three to remove from 16 squares to get the 10th type of that. There was one task. I will try to paint.


and lt; lt___ lt


It’s like a cow from a fireplace. And this teacher gave us the task of making her fun. At that time, the whole class was very hard. And fireworks broke a smile to her, and they put on her feet. The school took everyone into the woods. It turned out that in order for the cow to be cheerful, it was necessary to spread its mouth to the other side and raise its tail.
I didn’t know the fucking word. And I deeply regret that.

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93542
 06.02.2014
This is:
I may be a fool, but I am careful. I just saw the catapult on Maidan. Well, why did you argue, like great specialists, about the catapult? This is not a catapult, it will require it.

You won't believe, many here played in the Age of Empires, many even watched movies, and some read books and are able to distinguish not only the trebuche from the catapult, but also the catapult from the carbalist, and her from the ballist in turn.
But, scuco, in the wonderful word "Hochlopult" the word "Trebusche" can not be converted in any way)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №93541
 06.02.2014
What is your favorite color?
- 202, 31, 123

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №93540
 06.02.2014
to this

Russia is when, three days before the opening of the Olympics, the lesbian duo Tatu with "We are not caught", a ninth-grade girl is fined for gay propaganda. The foreigner would go crazy trying to understand this logic - and we are not used to anything.

I think a foreigner would have achieved or, on the contrary, healed the fact that both of the lesbian duo got married to men, and one even had time to give birth to 2 children.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №93539
 06.02.2014
and jealous:
You won’t believe it, but the stalk in Oke still runs. The Riazan region.
And yes, the ancestors had a mill, I don't know about cattle, but they lived well until the communists took everything away and the grandparents were shot.

Apparently, the mill was only in their possession, and the rest of the village flocked to them for money. They shot correctly.
-
And why did you take that if somebody has a mill, the others have to grumble on them, maybe they do it themselves? And those who are jealous, no one prevents them from bragging on themselves, but they don’t want to. They want to lie on top of the mouth and bore under care, and then take away what others bore.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №93538
 06.02.2014
Renovation of the children’s library. I come to the store, the girl-seller asks: "The books of Astrid Lindgren what are?" She, touching the eyes: "Lindgren? and Astrid? And what did he write?" The curtain, as they say.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №93537
 06.02.2014
Svetik: when I ask the silk: say, and you will love me, when I am corrected, he answers: you are already healed)))))

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №93536
 06.02.2014
Today two girls at work almost fought after one greeted the other with the words: "What, come, modern!"
xxx In time it became clear what, in fact, she asked "What, came from HR?"

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №93535
 05.02.2014
I easily forced my son to learn the number Pi to 15 characters.
XHH: Set it as a password for online toys.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №93534
 05.02.2014
I went to my grandmother for a visit. We sit in the kitchen and tell her that we have a son at work. We talked about various children's items, slides, diapers. My grandmother told me how she washed the diapers and sometimes boiled them. and further dialogue.
B: I still occasionally boil kitchen towels, look what white.
I: And what about TID against boiling?
B: And I’m with him and boiling...

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №93533
 05.02.2014
XXX: I want to drink. There is money, there is time, there is desire... stop me anyone!
Do not drink, Oleg Or you will get the sea of pleasure and have a great evening.

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